


A Court of Spring and Stars

by Allie16_queen



Series: A Court of Fics and Ships [1]
Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Abuse, F/M, Fluff, Mates, Post-ACOWAR, Smut, Sort of AU, cassian is amazing, f/f is for Mor because later on I think I'm gonna give her a girlfriend ;-), feysand, lena is so adorable, so cute, tam tam is a jerk, tamlin is an abusive father, too adorable to be tam tam's
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2018-12-09 04:28:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 85,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11661633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allie16_queen/pseuds/Allie16_queen
Summary: Rosalena, the daughter of Tamlin and heir to the Spring Court, has grown up alone and abused in her father's manor. She has always hoped that she'd be able to get out from under her father's thumb and out of his life, but that is something she knows will never happen. Well, she thought she knew.Kieran is High Lord Rhysand and High Lady Feyre's eldest son and the heir to Night Court and he's grown up loved and protected. For the last few years he's been having dream visions of a girl with golden curls and a melodic voice and he never thought he would ever meet her.When a much-needed diplomatic meeting brings the Night Court family to the Spring Court these two will have a chance to meet. What happens when fate brings them together in more ways than one?





	1. Part 1

Lena

Some days I wish I wasn't a part of the Spring Court. Some days I wish I wasn't my father's daughter. Some days I wish I wasn't Rosalena, daughter of the High Lord of Spring Court. 

Today is one of those days.

My ladies harshly scrub my body until my suntanned-skin is glistening and free of any dirt that I might have attracted during my late-night ride as my head-lady, Lynette, informs me that my father is waiting for me in the throne room and that I will be meeting with Court visitors. Yay.

Two of my least favorite things. My father and visitors.

My ladies dress me in a pale pink, sleeveless gossamer dress with a tight bodice on my small chest and narrow waist and a skirt that flows freely from my hips down to my feet which they slip into delicate gold slippers. 

Nimble fingers deftly create a loose waterfall braid out of my messy, golden curls and manage to create a mask of makeup that changes my tired, slightly hollowed-out face into a healthy, full face and makes my lips strawberry pink rather than their dull peachy color.

I sigh as I study myself in the mirror with tired green eyes. I look just like the heir I am . . . but it's not me, it will never be me. I want to be able to wear my trousers and ride my horse and not have to scrub and scrub until I'm glistening and glimmering like a princess. Is it so wrong for me to want to wear pants and go riding and get dirty and messy and . . . yes, it is. I can't be who I want to be. I'm already a disappointment to my father, to my Court; I will not be a worse failure than I already am.

Our people were ecstatic when my mother and father were married, they thought it meant that he was over Feyre . . . as if. They were in awe when my mother became with child, they thought they would have an heir to take over after my father's death. They were disappointed when I was born, a girl would be the heir to the Spring Court.

A disappointment. A curse. The people looked at me with eyes filled with hatred. I've worked each of the seventeen years of my life to make them look at me differently, to make them look at me with awe instead of disdain. I fixed their houses. I helped the healers fix broken bones and cure small ailments. I brought our extra food to the village in secret, knowing my father's aversion to helping them, and I gave away my most expensive jewelry during the time of the tithe.

Along with earning the people's love and respect, I received my father's wrath.

Lynette snaps me out of my thoughts by shaking me slightly and softly saying, "Mi'Lady, it is time to meet your father."

I shake my head to clear it of any lingering thoughts and murmur, "Thank you." before I stride out of my lavish room.

The aftermath of the war with Hybern left the old manor in ruins so everything was rebuilt and it doesn't in any way resemble what previously stood here, or so I've been told. The new manor is a four story cream-colored mansion with ivy-covered columns supporting the many balconies. Each floor is filled with rooms for dignitaries to stay or studies or other boring rooms - the only one that interests me is the library - and there is no art. None. There's not a gallery or any paintings decorating the walls or any sculptures in the corners of the lavish rooms, except one painting of a wintered forest in the human realm that my father keeps hidden away in his personal study; and people say he's over Feyre. 

The rooms are all decorated in various pastels that are meant to convey that this is the Spring Court, but really it just looks like they picked out a whole bunch of nursery themes and rebuilt them for adults. The pale pinks, blues, greens, yellows, and lilacs all blend together blandly. 

Thankfully, I was allowed to choose how my bedroom would be I made it reminiscent of the night sky that fills me with awe every time I ride my silver mare, Skydance, under it. My walls are dark blue while my floors are a brown hard-wood, the same hard-wood that all my furniture is made from, that's so dark it's nearly black and my bed has dark purple silken sheets and a canopy that's a mix of blue and purple reminding me of what I've always imaged far-away galaxies looking like.

My father hates it and nearly destroyed it before I sent him out to reign in his anger.

Walking down the halls of my manor, I resist the urge to curl my lip at the bright, babyish colors. I hear a hush fall as I walk down the staircase. None of the servants ever talk loudly when I'm near, though I do hear light whispers scurry into my ears. They always find something to chatter about. Sometimes they talk about the bruises on my body when they're visible. Sometimes they talk about my latest feat in the village. And sometimes they talk about the ring that I never wear on my finger.

The ring.

The promise of my betrothal to one of the High Fae males of our Court, Roric. It doesn't matter that he is over a hundred years older than me. No, he wants power and my father wants a stable male to keep his Court from going under when I become High Lady because everybody knows a woman can't run a Court . . . right? Wrong.

I could raise this Court to be the most powerful Court in Prythian, aside from the Night Court. I could make us one of the most prosperous. I could make our people happier. But with this engagement I'll never get the chance. The day I turn eighteen, I'll be his bride.

I dig my nails into my palm to chase away the thoughts that are storming through my head. Don't think about, Lena. Don't think about it. It just makes you angry.

I stride past the servants, head held high and eyes narrowed, letting them know that their gossip isn't appreciated, straight through the large throne room doors and into the room I've hated for half my life.

The throne room.

A massive room decorated in Spring Court green and gold with elaborate rugs running the length of the room masking the wooden floors and tapestries covering the plain, cream-colored walls. A dais takes up the farthest wall of the room where a golden throne carved with my father's animal form sits.

And sitting on it is my father.

I walk up to the front and face my father, resting on his golden throne with no cares in the world, and bow as I've always been instructed to do.

He sighs. "Rosalena, you're late."

I straighten out of the bow, but don't raise my head. "I was not informed of this meeting until an hour again, Father." I watch him with my head still down, a skill I've had much practice at.

A frown mars his face and he tilts his head to the side. His eyes, as green as mine, pierce into me, studying my posture, my face, the dark circles under my eyes that even my ladies' makeup couldn't hide. His voice is dangerously low as he says, "You were out riding again."

I squirm under his icy glare. I'm not supposed to go out without guards, especially not at night, but I always manage to sneak out. I can't help it. Sometimes I can't sleep and I just want to enjoy the dark, the night. So I creep away for a few hours to ride Skydance just to feel the wind on my face and see the stars wrapped in darkness above my head; it makes me feel relaxed and sometimes I even catch a hint of soothing jasmine when I'm riding across the rolling, emerald hills though I know for sure that jasmine is one of the only plants that will not grow here in Spring. Sometimes I get so relaxed that I start to sing, something I never do at home.

"I'm sorry, Father. I couldn't sleep." I know it's not an excuse that he'll accept, but it's better than saying that I feel more comfortable out under the stars than in this house.

He shakes his head. "How are you supposed to be High Lady one day if you can't follow a simple rule?" I can feel his magic building along with his anger and I prepare a shield of air to surround me in case he loses control. "How do you expect to protect my people when you can't even protect yourself?" My people. Not your people. Not even our people. My people. Because even when I become High Lady they'll still be his people not mine, never mine.

"With all due respect, when I become High Lady, I won't need protection anymore. I'll have your strength and magical talents and you don't need protection."

He laughs harshly. "I am a man. Of course I don't need protection." He gestures to me. "You're a frail young woman, a girl really, you'll always need protection. You won't be as powerful as me."

I sigh, of course. For a second, I forgot my father's rule of women not being as powerful as men. How silly of me. "Of course, Father. I'm sorry." I let my nails bite into my palm so hard I start to feel blood being drawn. "It won't happen again." Lie. It's always a lie. I couldn't live my miserable life if I wasn't able to fly through the air under the bright, glowing stars and smell the scent of a flower that never grows here.

He smiles sweetly to me - a rarity. I am instantly suspicious and rightly so because a moment later he says, "I know it won't. I'm locking the stable doors and putting guards outside your door. From now on there will be no sneaking out."

My blood boils, my nails digging deeper into my palm's soft skin, I nearly raise my head and tell him where he can put those guards before realizing that that would only make him angry. When he gets angry he loses control. I don't feel like getting another bruise from him busting up a room.

So I keep my head bowed and close my eyes to keep silvery tears from sliding down my cheeks. "Yes, Father."

"That's a good girl. So obedient." I cringe, he knows just how to frustrate me, but I let him continue. "Now, I called you here because we will be hosting some dignitaries and I want you on your best behavior during their visit. We don't have the uh . . . the greatest relations with them so I don't want you ruining our progress."

I clasp my hands in front of me in a placid pose. I keep my voice calm, tranquil, as I say, "Of course, who may I ask are we entertaining?"

He barely hides his disgust when he says, "The High Lord and Lady of the Night Court."

My head flies up, meeting my father's eyes for the first time this morning. I've never met the High Lord and Lady of the Night Court. I've heard of them, but never met them. My father never invited them to any of his parties and we never went to any parties outside of Spring because of the whole Amarantha party and mask thing.

"What . . . when are they coming?"

He rolls his eyes. "Sometime today if I understood their messenger correctly."

Questions pop into my brain, but a feminine voice from behind stops the questions from bursting free. "Hello, Tamlin, it's been awhile."

I feel a tugging inside me, the same tugging that makes me go outside and ride under the stairs every night, telling me to turn around. So I do.


	2. Part 2

Kieran

The wind hits my face in a rush, smelling of vanilla and roses as I fly through the dark, starlit skies. I shouldn't be out so late, flying alone at such a late hour, but I couldn't help it. I felt that tugging, that thing inside me telling me to go for a flight.

So here I am, flying in the dark with the strangely sweet-scented wind mussing my dark hair. I can't pretend that it doesn't feel good to stretch my wings and it's not like I was getting anymore sleep tonight. Not after the dream.

I always have the same dream. Of a young girl running ahead of me, slightly-curly, blonde hair flying behind her in the wind, and singing. Singing such lovely songs, always different and always beautiful.

Sometimes they're sad songs that make me want to wrap her in my arms forever and never let her go and other times they're love songs that make me want to take her in my arms and dance with her, spinning her around for as long as she'll let me.

But I never see her face at the end of these dreams.

I can't pretend I haven't tried to picture what she should look like and try to draw or paint her. It never worked out. I can only ever draw her running away from me. Maybe one day she'll run towards me.

I sigh and turn around as I see the sun starting to rise.

I fly onto the balcony of my room in the townhouse in Velaris and quickly lose my wings. I collapse on my bed and go over tonight's dream in my head.

It started out quiet, only the crickets humming, then I heard it. Her lilting, silvery voice faintly singing.

You're the lullaby  
That's singing me to sleep  
You are the other half  
You're like a missing piece 

I raced after the voice, trying to find it's source. I ran so fast I was sure she could hear my feet slapping from wherever she was.

Oh my love  
Oh my love  
Oh my love  
You don't know  
What you do to me 

Her voice was louder then, closer. I thought I saw a strand of golden hair a few feet away, disappearing into the treeline.

You are all four seasons  
Rolled into one  
You're like the cold December snow  
In the warm July sun

I saw her then. Her golden skin, her long silky hair, her petite form, the light blue dress that flowed behind her.

And she was running again, but not towards me.

I'm the jet black sky  
That's just before the rain  
Like the mighty current  
Pullin' you under the waves

That song. If only she had slowed down. If only I could have caught her. I would pull her close and show her just how true it was.

Oh my love  
Oh my love  
Oh my love  
You don't know  
What you do to me

Slow down. I chanted in my mind. Slow down. Let me catch you. Let me see your face.

I nearly caught her, my hand slipped through a wisp of golden hair.

That was the end of the dream.

I sigh and look out my window only to find that the sun has completely risen. Time to head to breakfast.

I stroll out of my room and downstairs, admiring the paintings that hang along the walls as I go. Most are my mother's and only a few are mine. I'm afraid my artistic skills aren't as on point as my mother's but I love painting and sketching so I continue.

I pause briefly when I catch a glimpse of the only painting of my mystery girl that I ever let my parents see.

The painting features the young girl running away into a deep, emerald green forest with golden curls and a plum dress flying behind her in the mystery of the dark of night - most of the dreams are set in the middle of the night - a shower of stars shining above her head.

I only showed them that one because I thought the plum dress made her match with the night making her look like a wisp or spirit of the night. They were so proud, my mother's eyes shown and my father thought it deserved to go next to her works of art.

When I step into the dining room Aunt Nesta slaps a heaping plate of blueberry pancakes and syrup with a glass of milk at my usual seat at the table.

"Eat, now."

I smile and salute her. "Yes, ma'am."

She glares but sends me a smile as I sit down and dig in, barely tasting the pancakes before I swallow them. 

"Please chew before swallowing. If you choke, your mother will kill me."

I nod, but keep eating them the way I was before.

Uncle Cassian walks in and his eyes widen while his mouth makes an 'o' shape, "Where'd you get those?" then his eyes find Aunt Nesta. "How come you never make me blueberry pancakes?"

She shrugs and says, "I didn't know dogs ate pancakes." but even as she says it I can see love glinting in her eyes.

He pouts at her and she rolls her eyes, walking into the kitchen. She returns with a plate for him too.

He digs in and mumbles, "I knew I loved you for a reason."

She snorts. "I love you even though you never make me blueberry pancakes."

He looks up from his plate. "I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to the pancakes."

She cocks her head. "Well then, looks like my darling nephew is the only one getting pancakes from now on."

I chuckle as he narrows his eyes at me. "I'll fight you for the right to the pancakes."

My mother's voice floats into the room, "Please don't fight my son over pancakes." I look behind me and see my parents standing in the doorway watching us with amusement.

I stand and walk my now finished plate to the sink in the kitchen and stride back to the dining room. I nod my head towards my parents. "You ready to go?"

My father rolls his eyes. "As ready as I can be."

My mother gets a far-away, pained look. "I don't know if I'll ever be ready for the Spring Court."

I always hate when spring comes if only because it reminds my mother of her time at the Spring Court. She sometimes gets these sad looks and has different nightmares than her usual ones. This visit is going to be horrible for her and it's really going to test mine and my father's control. I might actually try to kill the High Lord because of the shit he put my mother through. But we need this, we need to try to fix the strained relationship between our Courts.

I look up from my thoughts to see my father cupping my mother's cheek and looking deep into her eyes. Sometimes they stare at each other for hours, not talking just staring. Their mind-speak gets creepy sometimes, but I know that right now my father is telling my mother about how we'll always be right next to her and how much he loves her and how much her children love her.

That's right, children. I'm the oldest of three. Everybody thinks that my mother being human before being High Fae makes her able to conceive easier than a normal Fae. My younger siblings are twins. Stella and Aedon, Aedon was named after my mother's father, they're only eight years old and they're total pests. Aunt Elain and Uncle Az are going to watch them while we're gone.

I walk up to my parents and place my hand on my mother's shoulder. "Mom, we should probably go."

She nods and turns away from my father to face us all. "Do I look scary enough?"

She's wearing an all-black, quarter-sleeved dress that shimmers like diamonds in the sunlight whenever she moves and she has her hair up with her crown tucked into it. She likes to think that all the black and the crown makes her look scary, but I think it just complements her and makes her look prettier.

But I indulge her. "If you looked like that when you used to scold me I might I have run away screaming from your terrifying appearance."

My father winks over her shoulder, casting an approving glance at the comment, as my mother smiles and kisses my cheek.

She grabs my hand and my father's hand, ready to winnow out, but stops and glares at my aunt and uncle, "Please don't destroy our house while we're gone." and we winnow away.

The darkness pulls around us and I marvel, as I always do, at the magic that sends us to a completely different place in seconds. I see starbursts in the darkness and suddenly we land in a room decorated in emerald green and gold tapestries and rugs.

As I survey the room, I feel something tugging, the same tugging I feel that makes me fly in the middle of the night. Tugging me towards the furthest side of the room.

I see a man with a sneer on his face seated in a throne on a dais. Tamlin. High Lord of Spring. Abuser of my mother. My fists curl of their own accord before I can stop them. I've never seen nor met this man before but I want to bash his face in.

But then I see her and I freeze, unable to even let out the gasp that clogs my throat.

A young girl standing with her back to me. Golden curls spill down her back and her tan skin stands out against her pale pink gown.

I've seen that back a thousand times. Always running away from me. Always in a dream.

I hear my mother's voice pierce the silence of the room. "Hello, Tamlin, it's been awhile."

I feel my father's eyes on me and I know he's already compared this young girl to the one in the painting and wants to know how exactly I painted someone I've never met. Well, I want to know how I dreamed of someone I've never met.

But then the girl turns around and I swear I forget how to breath. I'm seeing her face for the first time and I swear she's an angel.

She keeps her head down but I can still make out her facial features. Her sharp oval face looks full and healthy and - even though she has dark circles under her almond-shaped eyes - her green eyes look lively as she takes us in as her full, archer's bow lips part in awe.

She even more beautiful than I imagined.

Her eyes roam over us, studying us and they widen as she looks over my father and I, probably noting how similar we look, but then she gasps and realization races into her eyes.

Her eyes widen even more as she looks at my mother and father in awe. It's when her eyes roam over me again that I lose the ability to speak, otherwise I would introduce myself.

Head still bowed, those jade eyes roam from my head to my toes in awe, maybe even attraction or at least appreciation, and I realize I stand at least a head taller than her, maybe more, she's so tiny. Short and thin like a twig - she doesn't have the curves that most of the Night Court and Illyrian women seem to have - and it makes me wonder if maybe she doesn't eat as much as she should, like how my mother ate when she was here.

I realize I'm searching, searching for any reason to believe she's actually the girl from my dreams - the girl I draw every day - other than how similar she looks from behind, when her eyes slowly meet mine.

She's gaping and as she notices that I'm staring at her as much as she's staring at me she slowly closes her mouth and a pretty redness flames her cheeks. Damn, she's gorgeous when she blushes. 

She bows her head again. I wish she would stop doing that, I've been waiting over a year to see the girl from my dreams in person and now I can barely see her face. But then she slides into a curtsy and I hear the silvery voice that always sings in my dreams say, "Welcome to Spring Court."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO how was it? The song lyrics are not mine, but I love that song so much that I had to include it. What do you guys think is going to happen? Please comment and vote! Thanks!


	3. Part 3

Lena

I slowly turn around to face three absolute strangers.

A female stands between two almost identical males.

The beautiful female is wearing a glimmering black dress that makes her golden brown hair and blue-gray eyes seem brighter. The two gorgeous males, who could be twins if not for a few differences, are also wearing black but their clothes aren't shiny and they aren't wearing gowns. They both wear a long-sleeved tunic and black trousers that complements their inky black hair and brings out their violet eyes. They look so alike but I can tell that one is older so I assume that they are father and son rather than brothers.

A gasp escapes my lips as I realize who stands before me. My hero. My role model. Feyre Cursebreaker. Feyre Cauldon-Blessed. Feyre the first High Lady of any Court. And her husband, Rhysand, the most powerful High Lord ever.

So the young male must be . . . their eldest child, Kieran. A year older than me, Kieran was born two years after the war with Hybern. All the ladies of the other Courts have told me of his power and strength; of course, they also mentioned that he's one of the most handsome males they've ever seen. I believe everything they told me. A near replicate of his father, this male is only slightly paler but holds all the strength and power of the man that sired him. He is gorgeous. High cheekbones and violet-blue eyes - that remind me of night incarnate - surround a slighty crooked nose - I wonder if it was broken at some point and not properly healed - and Cauldron ... his lips. Full lips - that would make any girl weak in the knees - are forming a small smile. His inky black hair is cut short, surprising me because all the men here in Spring keep their hair long. He's beautifully dark and mysterious, power and strength emanate from him; he's built like his father - an Illyrian warrior's body - towering over my small, delicate frame. A tattoo on his right arm made of crescent moons, stars, and swirls of wind - reaching from the tips of his fingers and past the edge of his sleeve - catches my attention and I wonder what it's for.

The tugging that told me to turn around nudges me until I'm looking into his night-sky eyes. Surprisingly, he's staring right back at me with an intensity that makes me blush and wonder if he was studying me as much as I was studying him. Probably not. I'm not that interesting, especially to a male who's seen everything all the other Courts could offer.

I realize I've been gaping and all my propriety lessons start beating at my brain. A flush heats my cheeks as I bow my head and slide into a curtsy. I make my voice even, "Welcome to Spring Court."

The High Lady chuckles. "Please don't bow for me." I stand and she tilts her head towards her husband then her son. "Don't bow for the boys either. Their heads are big enough as it is."

A snort from Kieran as an indignant look is sent from the High Lord to his Lady and a few glances are shared that make me curious about what happens in a mating bond as powerful as theirs. Is it their daemati powers that allow them to speak into each other's minds or is their bond just that strong?

My father finally stands from his lazy position on his throne and saunters to me, his boots slapping harshly against the floor. "It's been a long time." He waves his hand towards me. "This is my daughter, Rosalena."

I bite my lip. I despise being called Rosalena. I was named Rosalena because of my father's roses. The roses that never leave the garden just as I can never leave this Court. My name is reminder of my father's claim on me, his property. 

I murmur, "Just Lena, please."

My father shakes his head at the informality and insubordination, but doesn't say anything to me instead his eyes land on Kieran and his voice lowers as he says, "I was only expecting two." His green eyes narrow, sharply assessing Kieran. Kieran's eyes narrow as well.

Lord Rhysand shrugs. "Our son wanted to come and see the only Court he's never seen before," He pronounces the word "our" sharply as if to make it even clearer that Kieran is his and Feyre's, as if that weren't obvious. "the rest of our Court thought it a good idea to let their next High Lord help us with our connections."

I can feel my father's anger and annoyance through our shared power but he manages to calmly say, "Of course, that's a grand idea." His eyes dart to me and a sinister thing lurks behind his irises. "Maybe my daughter and your son will become fast friends."

Lady Feyre smiles nicely at me and says, "Maybe." at the same time that Kieran says, "I look forward to it."

An faux smile lands on my father's lips before it flits away, as fleeting as a bird even when it's a fake. An awkward silence falls upon the room and it only gets heavier with each second that passes. Throughout this whole meeting I've felt that incessant tugging but now it's silent. That's okay; I don't need it to tell me to get out of here and take our guests with me.

So I run my hands down the front of my dress, straightening out a few crinkles, and turn to my father, clasping my hands in front of me, "May I show our guests to their rooms, Father? They must be so tired. I know how exhausting winnowing can be." Not really, winnowing must be a piece of cake for them.

"Good idea, Rosalena." He returns to his throne and slouches, a lazy act that doesn't seem to impress our guests. "You're such good hostess." I cringe at the word. Hostess. It's not that I mind being a hostess, but he always makes it seem like that's all I am to the Spring Court. A hostess, not it's heir.

I feel Kieran's eyes piercing into me as I make my voice soft and demure and say, "Thank you, Father."

I turn around and gesture for our guests to follow me and march them out of the throne room. I don't even pause for a breath of relief, as I normally do after a visit with my father, before leading them up the intricately carved stairs and through the halls to our guest bedrooms.

I give them two of the darker rooms, not so pastelish that they look childish. "These will be your rooms for the duration of your stay. I hope you enjoy them, but should anything not be to your liking please come to me and I will fix it."

They smile kindly at me; well, the High Lord and Lady do, their son stares at me blankly, disinterestedly. An icy feeling fills my chest, I don't even know this male, but the thought of him already hating me hurts.

As if on cue the males head into their respective rooms and close the doors while High Lady Feyre remains outside with me. Her blue-gray eyes studying me; searching for something, for weakness, for strength, for fear, for anything.

"Do you need anything, High Lady?"

She shakes her head. "Call me Feyre, Lena." Her eyes dart around the hall. "No art?"

I follow her gaze though I know what I'm going to see; blank, dull walls. "No, my father will not keep any art in this manor." Sadly, I love the few examples of art that I've been able to see in the little market in the village.

A sadness fills her eyes as they land on me again. "How truly sad. My son and I love art, we're both artists." She shakes her head.

She stares off into space for awhile as if she's forgotten that I'm here, as if she's forgotten that she's here. But right as I'm about to clear my throat, she snaps to attention and asks a question that catches me off-guard. Something no one's ever asked me.

"How - how does he treat you?"

She has such maternal eyes, something I haven't seen for awhile, and yet I can't tell her how I feel. I can't tell her that I'm scared of his fits of anger and his extreme over-protectiveness. I can't tell her that he's hurt me because he can't control the rage that always seems to burn like wildfire in his veins. I can't tell her that he's stifled me and shoved me into this jail that I'll never be free from and is about to shove me into another type of prison as soon as I turn eighteen. I can't tell her that sometimes I hate him.

So I tell her a shortened version of the truth. "He treats me as well as he believes I deserve."

I see a distraught understanding enter her eyes and I know that she's remembering how he treated her. His temper tantrums. Him stifling her with guards and keeping the valuable knowledge of literacy away from her. Him locking her up in a house that had already become a prison. I know about everything he did to her from the villagers. I know it's all true because he's done the same to me - the only reason I know how to read is because Lynette and my mother taught me before my mother died - and I feel ashamed that I'm even related to the man who did all those horrible things to such a kind and strong woman, to my hero.

I'm overwhelmed with the feelings of shame for my father's actions and sorrow that he's doing the same to me. He's stifling me, breaking me down bit by bit without even caring, like he did her - to "protect" me. He says he loved Feyre and that's why he tried to protect her, but did he really? How can you love someone and not even notice they're suffering?

Her voice is small as she says, "I'm sorry, I don't know what goes on in this manor, but I can guess . . . " She's apologizing. She's apologizing to me. She doesn't need to be sorry. This isn't her fault. How can she apologize when she went through the same thing? How can she even stand to be around me? How can any of them stand to be around me when my father has done such horrible things? 

I barely mumble, "Please don't be sorry for me." and before she can say anything I'm speeding down the hall towards my room.

I nearly knock over a few servants on my way, but I manage to make it to my night-like room in time to make sure no one sees the streaks of silvery tears that escape my eyes.

Kieran

That damn girl. That damn beautiful girl. An unwanted image of her springs to the forefront of my mind. Suntanned skin on a small, dainty form. Golden curls falling down her back and across her slim shoulders. Green almond-shaped eyes set perfectly in her gorgeous, lightly freckled oval face.

I feel a tugging in the pit of my stomach telling me to go find her but I can't. I keep seeing the way she bowed and obeyed every word her father said like a puppet on a string. She lets herself be roped into the role of a hostess when she should be up on a dais in a throne beside her father's. Maybe in the High Lord's throne instead of her father.

"You're such a good hostess, Rosalena."

The words roll through my head. A good hostess.

I thought she was fierce, any girl I had dream-visions about would obviously have to be as ferocious as a mountain lion. I thought she would yell, scream, maybe even claw his eyes out for calling her a hostess when she's obviously meant to be a High Lady.

But instead the words, "Thank you, Father." escaped her lips.

Thank you . . .

As if it were actually a compliment and not an insult, meant to belittle her for not staying quiet.

I'm pacing my room just thinking about it. Anger welling up at the scene that replays in my head.

My mother walks in and sits in a chair by the window. "You're going to wear a hole in the carpet if you don't stop."

I sigh and flop onto the bed. "I think Tamlin deserves more than a holey carpet."

She giggles slightly and mirth twinkles in her eyes, but there's also a hint of sadness. "Thinking about the girl, aren't you?"

Of course my mother would know exactly what, who, is clouding all thoughts. I roll my eyes, trying to feign indifference. "No, why would I? She's just a little sheep, following her father like he's her shepherd."

My mother tilts her head and stares at me with twinkling eyes that mean that she disagrees and finds my opinion amusing. "Really? I'm not so sure."

I know this game, my mother is sitting on something that she wants to tell me. I sit and cross my arms. "Then what do you think of her?"

My mother purses her lips for a second then gives me a hard look, noting the sarcasm and not liking it, as she remarks, "I think she must be very brave."

I snort. Brave. How could she possibly be brave? "Elaborate, please."

My mother raises her brows. "She lives in this house with that - " She shudders. "that man. Alone." I lift a brow as if to say 'go on.' "The poor girl's mother died years ago. She hasn't had anyone to comfort her for years. Do you think the servants would risk Tamlin's ire by being friends with her? Of course not. Didn't you see how they whispered as we walked through the halls. They're more content to giggle and gossip about her than help her. And I know Tamlin isn't much better. He probably belittles her and antagonizes her every chance he gets."

Her fingers tap the arm of her chair. "If he shows her any love, it will always be ruined by that monstrous attitude and his freakishly possessive protectiveness." She muses.

She shakes her head sadly as her voice drops to a whisper, "Just imagine it, being stuck in this house with that man's aggression and possessiveness, with not even a mother to hold you; I'm absolutely sure that man's rage has given her more than a few bruises, not all on the outside." I freeze as a sudden ache mixed with fury burns through me at the thought of anyone harming her. "No way to release any pent up anger and frustration of her own, I'm sure he hasn't let her train with her magic. No way to defend yourself if you decided to go out, he definitely hasn't let her train with any weapons. And again that anger, that aggression . . . it's not something to wish upon anyone, I remember."

I remember too. The stories of what he did to my mother. The rooms he magically busted. The guards he made go everywhere with her. When he locked her in here with no way out.

I'm so lost in my thoughts about what he did to my mother that I almost don't notice her saying, "And yet, I read his mind and just last night she defied his rules again to go riding by herself in the dark."

My eyes widen as they look at my mother who's shooting me a piercing glare, beseeching me to make another opinion so I place myself in the girl's shoes. Trapped in this dull, horrid place with no way out. No friends to offer her comfort. A father who might have harmed her in more ways than one. A dead mother. Her only solace: riding her horse in the comforting solitude of the night.

I can't imagine it. I've always been free to roam wherever I wish and my home has never felt like a prison, never felt like this house. I've been surrounded by people who love me, who comfort me, and my parents would never hurt me.

I feel another surge of anger at her father and a deep sorrow for her. How is she still standing tall with all that she's surely endured? How is she not so broken that fixing may not be an option? Eighteen years in this house would have destroyed me, yet she remains intact.

I feel a little tug again and I want to go to her. Maybe offer an apology for being rude when she showed us to our rooms.

"Thanks, Mom. I didn't think of any of that."

She shakes her head and smirks. "I'm so wise, aren't I?"

I snort. "Yeah, whatever you say."

She giggles. "I'm telling your father that you said that I'm the wisest person you know, after your Aunt Amren of course."

I roll my eyes. "Of course." I open the door for her. "Now, please leave so I can go find a certain young lady and apologize for bad behavior."

A smile spreads across her face, "Of course." but she pauses at the door. "Your father and I noticed that she looks like the girl in your painting, doesn't she?"

I shrug as a small smile creeps across my face. "Maybe a little."

\-----

After asking a servant to lead me to Rosalena's room, I find myself standing at her door. I stare at it dully, wondering why I decided to find her.

To apologize.

Right.

I almost turn around and head back to my room out of sheer anxiety when I hear a small, quiet sniffle from inside the room. Is she crying? Uh uh. Not happening.

I knock on the door.

I hear a gasp and something crashing to the floor and a soft voice muttering, "Shit!" before the door opens and she's standing in front of me, wiping red-rimmed eyes.

I see a tear she forgot to wipe away slide down her cheek and it breaks my heart. If her father is the one who made her cry, I'll kill him. I hold my hands behind my back to keep from wiping the tear away; she obviously doesn't want me to know she's been crying so I'll let her think I'm oblivious to it.

She gapes at me for a second then composes herself. "What do you need, Kieran?"

Lena

I'm gaping as I find Kieran standing outside my door. I can't think of a good reason why he'd be here. He seemed to hate me when I showed his family to their rooms and now he's at my door. Why?

I slide a mask of calm serenity across my face. "What do you need, Kieran?"

A mix of confusion, guilt, sadness, and pity crosses his face and I don't know why he's feeling them but I wish he wouldn't, especially the pity, especially if they're directed towards me.

He seems to settle on guilt. He runs a hand through his inky hair and drops his night-like gaze to the floor. "I would like to apologize for earlier, I was very rude when you showed us to our rooms."

I furrow my brow. An apology. To me. I search my memory for the last time anyone ever apologized to me, especially for being rude, and I come up blank. The people in the village said 'Thank you' whenever I helped them but I was never apologized to for when they had been cruel before I started helping. I've heard people say 'I'm sorry' for running into me or something but no one's ever apologized for being mean to me, even after my father "accidentally" hurt me he never said he was sorry; he just said that I should've been more careful and that it wouldn't happen again.

"Uh," I'm so shocked that I don't know how to react so I just mumble, "no worries."

A crease forms between his eyes and he shakes his head. He seems to be thinking of something to say as his brow furrows and he bites his lip. "I was wondering if you could show me around, maybe give me a tour of the gardens or something."

I tilt my head and meet his gaze, green meeting blue-violet, "I guess, though there's not much to see." Stepping out of the doorway and closing the door, I sweep a hand out in a gesture to follow me.

He takes in the tour silently for about five minutes before he looks at me with raised brows and says, "What do you do for fun around here?"

What do I do for fun? Do I ever have fun? The only times I'm ever vaguely happy are when I'm reading in the library or riding at night. "Uh . . . that's probably not a question to ask me, but maybe the servants know."

Again his brow creases and I have the strangest urge to reach up and smooth it; my hand twitches ready to do just that but I clasp it with the other in front of me effectively trapping it. He looks around then turns back to me and says, "Do you ever have fun?"

I balk at the question; I've met hundreds of High Fae from all the Courts across Prythian, except Night Court, and none of them have ever asked me that question. None of them had ever asked me any questions about myself. "I . . . well . . . I read." I stumble and he seems to be hiding a laugh as his eyes glitter with amusement and he covers his mouth with his tattooed hand. "And I ride my horse, Skydance."

He chuckles now. "Reading and riding? That's all? Oh, sunshine. What about sliding down these banisters?" He slaps a hand on the rail of the stairs. "What about pranking people?" He laughs like he's thinking about a time when he did just that. "What about dancing to some lively music?"

I tilt my head, trying to remember if I was ever allowed to do those things. No, I wasn't. It didn't look good for the heir of Spring Court to be doing any of those things. It wasn't proper. The solstice celebration is the only time I can recall that I'm allowed to dance and sing and just make merry. "No, I was never allowed, I'm still not."

He shakes his head. "Why not?"

I scrunch my brows. "Why not? Because it's improper. I would've made us look like a bunch of heathens and my father . . . " I gulp at the thought of what my father would have done as punishment for doing any of those things, for making us look lacking in propriety. "My father would not be pleased."

He clenches his jaw and studies me for a second, eyes making a thorough investigation, I'm about to ask what he's doing when I notice his eyes lingering on a certain spot - a spot on my shoulder that had been covered by my hair. His eyes linger on that spot, the spot that is the edge of large purple bruise.

His hand gently reaches forward and moves my hair back behind my shoulder and his other clenches into a tight fist when he sees the full view of my shoulder. My fully bruised shoulder. He brushes his unclenched hand across the bruise gently, so gently that it surprises me; it also surprises me that I find myself yearning for that gentle touch to leave my shoulder and explore other parts of my body.

His starry eyes turn cold and cruel like a winter night's harsh wind when he asks too quietly in a gravelly voice, "What happened?"

I feel a chill run down my spine at that voice. I force myself to answer, "It was an accident." It was an accident. Two days ago, I had asked my father if we could stop doing the tithe this year; I had plotted out a very good argument. He didn't like it and when I pushed him to reconsider he got so made that his magic burst our dining table to splinters and a large piece of wood from the table hit my shoulder, hard. Hard enough to nearly break it, if I wear human it would've shattered it. It was my fault though. I pushed and pushed him and I knew his anger could do that, could erupt at any moment, and I didn't put a shield up to cover myself.

His voice is full of cool sarcasm when he remarks, "I'm sure it was." He gently brushes one of his fingers across it sending shivers up my spine. "Does it hurt?"

I make my voice calm as I say, "Not really." It doesn't hurt, not nearly as much as other injuries have. The time I was knocked out by a dictionary being thrown at the back of my head, giving me a damn concussion, that hurt. The time a nasty set of claws ran down my back, leaving me with five jagged white scars, that hurt and I still feel phantom pain from it. The time I was blasted into a wall because I pushed to hard on bringing more food to the villagers hurt just a bit more than when the piece of wood hit me. So yeah, the bruise doesn't hurt that bad.

Something like skepticism crosses his face before he shakes his head. "Did your father do this?"

I don't say anything, preferring to study the boring pastel walls, which seems to be answer enough for him. His hand leaves the bruise to fall to his side. His jaw clenches and his hands curl into fists. "Does this happen often?"

I meet his gaze to find burning rage there and it's so intense that it surprises me enough to whisper, "Would it matter if it did?"

His eyes soften from rage to sadness in the flash of a second. "Of course it would." He takes a small breath. "I - I would like to be your friend and I don't like seeing my friends get hurt, especially by someone who's already hurt so many."

I consider telling him everything. Tell him about all the pain. Tell him about the fear that's curled up in my gut for my father.

But I don't.

Instead I say, "I'm sorry, but I don't think we can be friends." I look down at the floor as I begin the walk back to my room. "My father doesn't look kindly upon me having male friends." The truth. He doesn't. I tried making friends with a stable boy . . . until I woke up one morning and he was gone and he never came back.

"Lena . . . " So much hurt, guilt, pity wrapped in one word, one name.

I don't look back as I walk back to my room alone.


	4. Part 4

Kieran

That was terrible. Why can't I be charming like other guys? No, I have to keep blundering on oblivious to the fact that I'm making a girl uncomfortable. She'll never talk to me again.

I sigh as I walk into my room. I almost collapse on my bed until I notice my dad lying on his side across it with his head propped up on a hand. Amusement glitters in his eyes. "Paint me like one of your dream girls."

"Dad, get out." I say, not unkindly but tiredly.

He sits up and pats a spot on the bed, "But Feyre darling said you might need some fatherly advice." he winks, "You know, on how to get a girl." nudging me as I sit down and glare at him. "Okay, your mother didn't say that but she showed me your conversation about the girl and I felt like imparting some fatherly wisdom."

"Are you guys having a wisdom contest or something?"

He chuckles. "No," Then he looks at me seriously. "but if we were, I'd be winning, right?" At the shake of my head, he grumbles but goes back to trying to impart his fatherly wisdom. "So, first of all, the key to flirting is to send the girl you like into a fight with a deadly monster."

I raise a brow.

He deadpans, "It worked on your mother."

My mother appears in the chair she sat in earlier. "That is not what made me fall for you, bat-head."

He winks at me conspiratorially but continues. "Second . . . start with a more fun approach, like scaring off bad guys in the middle of a gigantic orgy-festival."

My mother snorts. "That's not it either."

I roll my eyes, mutter, "You guys are so weird."

"Third . . . what's the third, Feyre darling?"

She chuckles. "This is your fatherly advice, not mine."

My father groans jokingly. "Fine, um . . . third, make sure she knows how . . . large . . . your wingspan is."

My mother laughs so loudly and heartily that I wonder if that's a personal joke they'd never told me. Then my father's word choice comes to mind and I cringe as I understand the meaning behind the joke. "Dad, please don't ever say that again."

"Fine, ungrateful offspring." He mumbles under his breath. "Fourth, just give her some time. She might not open up right at the beginning and that's okay."

A small smile spreads across my mother's face.

"Why are you telling me all this? I'm not going after her like that." Even as I say it, I feel that tug in my stomach and I know it's a lie. "I just want to be her friend."

My parents exchange secretive smiles before turning their stares back to me.

"This is the last one. Just be yourself. You're as handsome as me and as charming as your mother." He leans over and whispers, "The gorgeousness makes up for the lack of charm."

Shaking her head, my mother hisses, "I heard that. I'll throw another shoe at you."

My father walks across the room to her and leans down to settle his face next to hers. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. You're plenty charming." He kisses her and doesn't stop until they winnow out.

I smile at how much my parents still love each other. I wonder if I'll ever find that kind of love and feel a tug as if in answer.

\-----

Lena

I feel terrible.

He looked like he was full of guilt or pity and then there was that streak of anger, not at me - but my father for hurting me.

But I don't know him. I shouldn't feel terrible. He doesn't need to be prying into my life as if he cares. I know there's no way he does. He's only just met me today, even people who've known me for years don't really care about me. And yet . . . there's this feeling that somehow I know him from somewhere.

Maybe it's because he's the heir to the Night Court and I've always felt so comfortable under a blanket of stars. Or maybe I've always felt so comfortable at night because of the feeling that I know him . . .

That's ridiculous.

I shake my head and check the time. Nearly noon. I have time to go on a quick ride to the village.

I slide the straps of my dress off my shoulders and let the dress fall and pool around my feet, stepping out of it, I reach into my wardrobe and pull out a pair of black cloth leggings and a loose-fitting, short-sleeved white shirt. I pull both items of clothing on and pull on a pair of gray, thigh-high boots.

I hang the dress up on a hanger in the wardrobe and quickly pull on a thin black cloak.

I close my door softly and hurry down the stairs. I nearly make it to the back door when my father appears in front of me. "Going somewhere?"

I squeeze my eyes shut, preparing for some kind of blow. Physical or psychological. But it doesn't come.

I slowly open my eyes to find a smirk spread across his face. "Why don't you take the young man?" A condescending look enters his already icy eyes. "You two seem so . . . close. I mean, I heard from a few servants that he stopped by your room and that you were walking through the manor together."

I bite the inside of my cheek, suddenly glad that I left Kieran in the hallway; this would only be worse if I had continued that tour. If I had talked to him about all the horrible things that happen in this house.

My father lifts his chin and I see his claws just barely poke through his skin . . . those claws, a ghostly shudder of pain rakes across my back at the memory of those claws on my skin. I take a step back. "You will not take a step outside this house unless I tell you to."

I want to say no. I want to say that he can shove his rules up his ass.

But his claws slide out another inch and I find myself holding my breath, waiting for a slash.

I close my eyes tightly. "Yes - yes, Father."

I don't have to open my eyes to see that his claws have retracted. For now.

"Now, listen up girly, I have a job for you; it's really easy, I swear. Are you listening?"

I shrink in on myself. "Yes, Father."

"Stay away from the Night Court brat. I can't have your purity soiled, not by a Night Court demon-spawn." He smiles in a way that isn't a smile. "Poor Roric will settle for a ruined bride, but not if your ruined by that pest." I tremble as his claws slide out again and he reaches forward, letting the tips of his claws trail across my collarbone. "Understand, Rosalena?"

I nod. "Yes - Yes, Father. I'll stay away from him, I promise."

My father pats my head, "Good girl." and walks away.

I slide down against the wall and bury my head in my hands. It's times like that when I think that my father isn't quite right. When I think that maybe, he needs help. Bad. It's times like that that make me terrified of him.

I remember when my father was better, kinder. He used to hoist me onto his shoulders out in the gardens and I think he read me a bedtime story once. He used to kiss my mother sweetly, almost as if he forgot about his obsession for Feyre for a few moments, and he never showed me his claws. Then my mother died. And he's been angry ever since. Maybe he was only nice to me when my mother was alive for her sake. Maybe he doesn't have to act like he likes me when she's dead.

I sigh as I stand up and hurry back to my room. I won't be going anywhere right now. My journeys outside the manor will have to wait until night.

Kieran

Waiting for dinner is taking forever.

I check the time on the clock again and notice that it's only three.

Two hours to go.

My parents are off trying to learn more about what the Spring Court is like now. I declined when asked to go because I'd rather sit here on my bed and wonder why I've been dreaming about my mother's abuser's daughter for over a year. And why the hell I feel as if I'm being pulled to her.

I sigh and shake my head for what feels like the hundredth time, but this time I stand up and exit my room.

Standing in the hall, I notice for the first time that this whole place seems to be decorated in pale colors that remind me of nursery colors. I shake my head and wish I was back in Velaris. My bright, colorful home that never fails to bring a smile to my face. For a brief second I wonder what Lena would think of Velaris, but I shake that thought away. She'll never see Velaris, especially not with me, but if she could . . . she'd love it. I can tell. Her face would light up. Her eyes would be big, wide green orbs and her lips would part in surprise and . . . stop.

Stop thinking about her.

I walk through the halls, opening doors and closing them when they turn out to be empty bedrooms, unsure of what I'm looking for but I keep moving forward.

I finally open a door that has something interesting behind it. A library.

It's not nearly as big as the one in the House of Wind, but I guess for the Spring Court it's bigger than I expected.

I look around, finding a table in the middle of the room and I sit. I remember from my mother's stories about how she tried to write her family a letter telling them that she was all right and stuff, before she learned how to read and write, and Tamlin saw but he never offered to teach her, only offered to do it for her. Even after she nearly died Under the Mountain because she couldn't read and he had a few months to teach her he never did. He wanted to keep her ignorant.

I nearly punch the table, but I reign myself in. The library isn't the one that deserves my fists.

I push away from the table and look around trying to find a book that'll interest me while I sit around this boring manor doing nothing. It's takes awhile to understand how they organize this place before I realize that they don't. There aren't any bookkeepers here. Tamlin probably doesn't care enough about literature to think that keeping an organized library is important.

I finally find one about a farm boy and his lover who supposedly dies but comes back after he gets engaged to an evil princess. I've read it once before when I was younger, but that doesn't mean I can't read it again.

I start reading, getting a few chapters in, when I notice the hour hand on the clock has reached the five. Dinner.

I put the book back in it's place on the shelf as I stride out of the room and down the stairs, just following the tugging in my stomach.

I reach the dining room and the first thing I notice is that Lena doesn't even look at me as I enter, she doesn't even look up. The second thing, is that Tamlin is smirking. I sit down across from Lena and as soon as my hands are covered by the table I clench them to keep from punching the High Lord in the face.

My parents arrive soon after me and, reading the tension in the air, give each other looks of apprehension. My mother sits next to Lena and my father sits next to me.

"So, how was everybody's day?" My mother chirps.

Lena shrugs and I do the same. Tamlin though . . . Tamlin says, "Just peachy." He looks at Lena condescendingly, then me. "I'm surprised you two didn't have a better day. You spent a little time together, didn't you?"

Lena bites her lip and takes a sip of her tea. I don't do anything. I don't know Tamlin. I don't know what game he's playing, or if he's even playing one.

Tamlin sighs then turns to me. A condescending grin spreads across his face and I'd like to slap it off. "Did you know that in just a few short months Rosalena will be getting married?"

I feel the air whoosh out of me as a weight crushes my heart. I've known this girl for barely a day but it hurts to think of her with someone else. Married. She's so young. Is this Roric guy her mate? I try to meet her eyes but when I look up I find her pale and looking at the table as if she's been slapped. No, not the table. Tamlin's hands. Or more precisely, his claws. The claws that are sliding out a few inches then back in; it looks like he's teasing her.

A snarl nearly breaks out of my mouth but I stop it. I can't snarl at a High Lord. I steal a glance at my mother and see that she's having the same problem as me, biting her lip to keep from growling.

"Roric is a High Fae in my Court and he'll be a good match for her. The stability she'll need. After all, a woman can't run a Court all on her own."

One look at Lena and I can tell she's close to making him eat her fist. Her face is red and her jaw is clenched so tight I wouldn't be surprised if she was grinding her teeth into a fine powder. I watch as her fingers curl and uncurl around her knife.

Tamlin pins a piercing green stare at me and says lazily, as if remarking on the weather, "Isn't that so great?" When I don't say anything he shrugs. "Well, I was just wanting to give you a piece of advice. I know it's hard to control your savage Illyrian urges," I hear a soft snarl coming from my mother and a dark chuckle from my father, but I don't turn to look at them. I'm keeping my eyes on this bastard. I'm staring him down. "but could you please not fuck my daughter and ruin the goods while you're here?"

I clench my jaw and fists so hard that I can feel my nails puncturing my palms, the pain is the only thing connecting me to reality and keeping me from destroying this male. I look him dead in the eye. "I think you're daughter can decide whether or not she wants me to fuck her." I stand from my chair quickly, the legs scrape hard leaving scratches on the floor. "Please excuse me. I've lost my appetite." And stride out of the room.

Lena

I watch Kieran leave and bite my tongue. But as soon as he's gone, I turn to my father and pin a glare on him. I don't care if the other High Lord and the High Lady hear what I have to say. "Father, I would be careful how you speak to future allies. What you say affects all of our Court, not just you. And as for what exactly you said, I already told you that we would not be interacting, I promised you. That was uncalled for. It was crude and disappointing behavior from a High Lord." I pause to regain control over my anger that was steadily rising.

I say in a clipped tone, "I would suggest that you hold your tongue instead of releasing it whenever you're feeling cocky."

He glares at me as his claws slide all the way out, leaving huge gouges in the table, but this time I don't flinch or cower when I see them. I stare him down. I know that if Feyre and Rhysand weren't here I would have a new set of scars, perhaps that's why they haven't slipped out yet. Perhaps they know what would happen if they left me alone with him.

"Rosalena, I would suggest going to your room before you find yourself in more trouble than you were in before. Do you want me to bump up your marriage? Because I can. Roric will be thrilled, he's been waiting for nearly eighteen years."

I stand up quickly and glide to the door, my dress swishing against the tiled floor, as I reach the door I say, "Fine, but Father, I wouldn't threaten me with the marriage; you'll find it's the one thing that makes me have a temper like yours." I smile at Feyre and Rhysand, "I hope you both have a wonderful evening." then I leave for my room where I decide to sleep with one eye open tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I love this chapter because Lena stands up to Tamlin but also because I love the Feysand domestic talk in here.


	5. Part 5

Kieran

I jolt awake from the same dream as always, nearly falling back into my bed, when my gut tugs at me and I know that it wants me to go outside and open my wings in the night air; it pulls at me telling me to fly.

I groan as I quickly pull clothes over my naked body and leave my room.

The halls of the manor are weirder at night than in the day - creepier - with nothing on them and only those pastel paints it looks abandoned and haunted. I walk down the halls aware of every shadow, every noise.

When I reach the front door I step out, unfurl my wings, and take off.

The wind rushes into my face and I welcome it. Though it's always spring here, I think we're in a hot spring right now. It felt like a sauna in my room, I feel better now that the wind has released it's chill on my face and in my hair, drying any of the sweat I accumulated in my sleep.

It feels good to fly right now. The wind hitting my face and my wings working hard to carry me across the sky helps to relieve the tension of the previous day's events. Lena rejecting my friendship wasn't so bad, but then Tamlin got in my face about not controlling my urges and fucking her. I snort at the thought. I don't fuck anyone who isn't willing, which I'm sure is something that Tamlin doesn't understand, my "Illyrian urges" are completely tame, except the urge that tells me to punch him in the face.

For awhile, I fly high above, scouting the land and working off tension. But when I spot a cluster of trees in a set of rolling green hills, I decide to fly lower. I want to see if there's anything special about this place other than Lena. Maybe I'll find the pool of starlight that my mother once told me about.

But I don't get much of a chance to look because as I dip low and fly under the branch of a tree I see her. Her curls stream down her back like a river of gold and her black cloak shifts in the wind as she rides her silver mare soft and slow. Her head falls back and she laughs crazily with much more spirit than I've heard out of her so far. After she calms down, she hums then starts to sing and I can't help but freeze as the heavenly tone of her voice sweeps over me.

Lena

I open my eyes in a flurry from a nightmare - more like a memory - of claws shredding my skin, except in this dream it's not just my back that gets ravaged; it's the whole of my body. I'm breathing heavy as I push back the fear and the wave of nausea that accompanies it. A tugging in my gut makes me hurry up and throw my riding clothes on, the same clothes I wanted to wear to the village earlier, and I grab the long rope I store underneath my bed and tie it to the leg of the bed, throwing it out the window. I climb down it swiftly and silently.

As soon as my feet hit the ground, I use my father's magic to shapeshift into the stable boy and rush to the stables. I run past the guards, mumbling something about not feeding a horse.

As soon as I'm inside, I get Skydance out of her stable and put a halter on her, I forgo a saddle though. I touch Skydance's muzzle and focus, shapeshifting her into a mouse. I slip her into my cloak's pocket and rush back outside.

I run through the gates and when I pass them I sit Skydance on the ground and turn her back into her horse form and myself back into my normal form. "Good girl, Sky." I murmur as I haul myself onto her back using a large log next to us.

As soon as I'm secure on her back we take off, galloping across the expanse of rolling hills and into a line of trees where I slow her into a trot.

A breeze wafts the fresh scent of jasmine into my nose and I smile and inhale as deeply as I can. I throw my head back and laugh at the ultimate joy I feel wash over me as I ride through the trees. The feeling of freedom that I never have at any other time but when I'm lost in a book.

Looking up to the sky, a wave of peace washes over as I see all the stars shining against the darkness. I close my eyes and hum a tune that I know well then I slowly start to sing it.

Sparrow and wolf lay as still as the blades of the grass  
Like worn leather boots, of color and size that would last  
Caught them a lark in a trap, and each held a wing  
Then they tore it apart, before that small bird could sing

Confused by the wind, bruised by the size of the rain  
She turned back him, begged for love to remain  
But plans have been made, all of the furniture sold  
So store up your hate, use it for warmth when you're cold

I think I hear a branch rustle behind me, but I don't care. I'm lost in the song.

Kieran

I've only ever heard her singing in my dreams and now my dreams seem like silly comparisons. Her voice is angelic. It's silvery and silky, but there's a bit of a rasp that makes my heart thud.

For I have seen no joy, only danger,  
I seen no joy, only strangers,  
I seen no joy, seen no joy in this world  
Should you, choose to go, please be careful of,  
Lonesome roads, men that travel them,  
Will not know, will not know of your ways

I lean a little too far on the branch I'm perched on and it breaks from underneath me. Great, now she'll think I'm spying on her.

Lena turns around on her horse startled then she looks right at me and, at first, she looks confused then embarrassed, but then she starts to laugh. Warm, bubbling laughter that makes me glad I probably just embarrassed the crap out of myself. Her laugh makes me feel happy. Her laugh makes me want to laugh. She dismounts from her horse and ties her to a bush.

I stand up and shake the dirt and grass and leaves off myself. She smiles but tilts her head curiously. "What were you doing up . . . " Her question trails off as her eyes find my wings. I expect to meet her gaze and find a tinge of fear, maybe even disgust, but all I find is awe. "I forgot that your mother and father have wings that probably passed to you." I hear her whisper. "Wow."

Her gaze is fixed on my wings and it looks a little glazed over as if she's imagining what she would do with wings. I bite my lip then clear my throat, "Would you," I pause, debating on whether this is a good idea or not, but then I continue. "Would you like to touch them?"

Her eyes widen and a dazed smile crosses her face but fades quickly. No, don't stop. Keep smiling. "I read that Illyrian wings are very sensitive." Her hand reaches out slightly but she pulls it back. "I don't want to hurt them."

I snort. As if she could hurt my wings with just her hands; with a sword, maybe, but not her small, delicate hands.

I slowly reach forwards, remembering the earlier rush it gave me to touch her skin even if it was bruised, and she inhales sharply as I grab her hand, pulling it forward and rest it gently on one of my wings.

A smile flashes across her face. "Wow. They'e amazing."

Pride puffs in my chest until it's replaced by another feeling as she slowly, so slowly, traces a small circle with one of her fingers - her nails scratching against a membrane - and just that sets my veins on fire. A shudder runs up my spine and I have to catch a groan before I gently pull her hand away. "Sorry, a little too sensitive for that."

Her eyes widen in shock. "I'm - I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt it. I just . . . I'm - "

I shush her with a wave of my hand. "You didn't hurt it. Their sensitive in a . . . different way, sunshine."

Lena

"Oh." A second later. "OH." I giggle. "Sorry."

He waves away my apology. "What was that song you were singing before I so rudely fell out of a tree?"

My face heats up - I don't like people hearing me sing - and I start twisting my fingers around each other. "It's an old song my mother taught me before she died. It was one of her favorites."

"Is she why you sing now?"

I shake my head. "Uh . . . I just sing when I get relaxed." I shrug, remember our topic about having fun earlier I say, "It's fun."

A crease forms between his forehead; again I wish I could smooth it out. "Why are you out here in the middle of the night?"

I shrug. "Because I wake up wanting to come outside and soar through the wind." I note a flicker of surprise crosses his face before it's masked by a smooth, calm face. "Why are you out here in the middle of the night?"

He shrugs. "The same reason."

A silence falls as we regard each other. As I stare at him, I realize that the darkness wraps around him like a blanket - I guess that's a Night Court thing. Some emotion dances across his face darkening his eyes as his lips part slightly. I don't know why but the look on his face makes my stomach flutter with anxiety and something else, something I've never known before. My cheeks heat so I drop my gaze to his wings.

He notices.

A blinding smile forms. "Would you like to know what it feels like to fly?"

I bite my lip. This is not a good idea. Nope. Because to experience what it feels like to fly, I'd have to be wrapped in his strong arms. With this incessant tugging in my stomach and him looking absolutely in his element in this darkness, I won't stand a chance.

But still I nod.

He walks forwards slowly.

One step.

Two steps.

He's walking slowly, giving me the chance to change my mind.

Three steps.

One more step and he'll be flush up against me.

Four steps.

His violet-blue eyes sparkle with stars and mischief as he looks down at me and I crane my neck to look him in the eyes. I suddenly feel like this is a very bad idea. But bad in a very good way.

"Do you trust me?" He whispers softly.

I find myself nodding.

He wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me so tightly against him that I'm not sure where I end and he begins then he bends down and picks me up, wrapping his other arm around the backs of my knees. I don't even want to think about how our bodies seem to fit just like the last two pieces in a puzzle.

Then we're off the ground and the wind is surging against the speed of our flight, messing up my hair by pulling it in every direction but I don't even care because right now, flying through the air in his arms so close to the stars, I feel like I could touch the moon.

I giggle and look around, look everywhere. I laugh whole-heartily when I see how minuscule the Court manor is. So insignificant from up here that I nearly cry.

I wrap my arms tightly around Kieran's neck and tuck my head into the crook of his neck for a second and whisper, "Thank you." His arms tighten around me in response. "I'm sorry about what my father said at dinner. It was rude."

I feel his shoulders lift as he shrugs. "It's not your fault that your father's a dick, sunshine."

We fly in silence for a bit and it's comforting - to be with someone and not be expected to speak or do anything for them - and I hope I get the chance to do this again. This is probably one of the best things I've ever experienced. No, it is the best thing I've ever experienced.

I pull back and stare at the sky, so close but still so far away. I reach a hand up, as if to touch the stars and look at Kieran who's watching me with an intensity that I didn't know anyone could possess. I shiver and not from the cold.

To distract myself from the heat in his stare, I look down at his tattooed arm around my back - I can see through his thin shirt that he has more but this one is the one that I want to know about - I study it, finding myself entranced by the harsh swirls. "What's the tattoo about?"

He looses a breath then a laugh. "It's not much of a story . . . I don't have some inspirational reason behind it."

"Tell me anyway."

His eyes soften and a small smile forms on his face. "Well, you know how some of my people use tattoos to symbolize deals, my parents have matching ones so they die together; anyways, that one is a part of a deal I made to the twins, my younger siblings, when they were born. I promised them that I would always protect them and I would always be there to help them as long as they lived - we were scared that they wouldn't live for a while but they're healthy and growing now so I guess it worked. They didn't get tattoos though because I didn't want them to have them, as the bargain-maker I had the choice."

"So what you're saying is that you got a tattoo because you're a big softy?"

He bursts into laughter as I giggle. "Yeah, yeah, I suppose that's what you could call me."

When his laughter dies down and my giggles go away, I look at the stars with sad eyes. "I think that's a very inspirational reason." My voice drops to a whisper as I say, "No one would ever do that for me."

He bites his lip and his brow furrows as if he's trying to figure something out, trying to decide something, then a soft smile crosses his features and it makes me want to smile. "I officially swear to you, Rosalena of Spring Court, that I will protect you and always help you, no matter what, all you have to do is be my friend."

I gasp as I watch a dark tattoo form under his thin, white shirt on the already tattooed arm, taking up the rest of the arm, from elbow to shoulder, but one doesn't appear on my arm. Good, my father would kill me. A tear slides down my cheek and he wipes it away with the hand of his newly tattooed arm. "Why would you do that?"

His calm, stoic eyes meet my wide, teary ones when he says, "Because everyone deserves to have someone protect them, especially you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is not mine. It's Sparrow and the Wolf by James Vincent Mcmorrow.


	6. Part 6

Lena

I wake up happy.

I wake up happy for what seems like the first time in . . . well, the first time.

My maids comment on my chipper mood as they prepare me for breakfast while I hum and tap my feet to a tune I learned awhile back. 

Lynette seems concerned as she says, "My lady, why are you so . . . happy?" She's never seen me have a reason to be happy.

But now I do. I have a reason to be happy. I have a friend who promised to protect me; I have a friend who let me fly through the stars. I can't think of a reason to be miserable right now.

"I just . . . " I pause as I realize I can't tell them about what happened last night - or was it early this morning - not even Lynette can know. They would tell my father. They'd have to. "I just had a really good dream is all."

They share skeptical looks; my dreams are never anywhere near pleasant - except for the few where I watch as a pair of calloused but soft hands draw and paint while humming to a tune that I don't know - they're normally always about my father, about those horrible claws.

"Well," She gives me a swift once-over, approving of hers and the other ladies' work. "you're prepared for breakfast."

I nod and rise from my seat, glancing in the mirror to approve of my appearance. My long hair is still pulled over to cover the fading bruise, but there's no braid today it's just down. I'm wearing a lilac dress with cap sleeves and a long, gauzy skirt. I frown at the light color - all of my clothes are in some type of pastel color and I really wish they weren't - but I make myself form a smile so the ladies know that it's not their fault and that they did well.

"Looks good. Thank you."

Two of them murmur, "You're welcome." but the other two stay silent.

I smile at them as I leave my room, the smile dims as I walk down the silent halls. The smile becomes a frown when I walk into the dining room and only see my father sitting at the head of the table.

I take the seat to his right, as is expected of me, and keep my head down. "Good morning, Father." I notice dark circles under his eyes, dark circles that - for once - aren't under my eyes. "Did you sleep well?"

He glares at me. Not in a good mood. I turn my eyes back to my plate, to the heaping of food on the table. I nearly cringe at it. So wasteful when people in our village are starving. My eyes wander across the extravagant room, so much waste of wealth. The gleaming hardwood floors. The crystal chandelier. The specially carved table and chairs. Such a waste.

As I take a sip of my orange juice, Kieran and his parents walk in and sit down in their places from the night before.

Feyre nods towards my father. "Rough night?"

My father shrugs, slowly eating his breakfast.

Then Feyre looks at me and she smiles softly. "You look like you had a better night."

I smile thinking about the friend I gained last night, the way I flew through the skies, the way I was able to fall asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow when I got back. "Yes, it was very nice." Kieran smiles as the words come out of my mouth.

But then he notices how I'm only swirling my spoon in my oatmeal, not taking a single bite. How I haven't touched my toast or the fruit on the saucer next to my oatmeal. His mouth tightens into a thin line. "You should eat, Rosalena. You look like a twig as it is, you need to get some meat on your bones."

I huff, I don't normally eat a lot - Roric once made a comment about my weight and my father agreed with him which really hurt my feelings - maybe a little bit of dinner. But as I look at him staring at me pointedly, I decide that for him I can eat a little more than normal. I did look a little thin when I checked myself in the mirror.

So I raise my spoon to my mouth and start eating a large, healthy bowl of oatmeal.

Kieran

I watch her like a hawk, making sure that she eats every last crumb of her food. And she does. Good. She's so thin. She needs to eat. I imagine this is what my father felt when he saw how my mother looked while she was here. Thin - too thin - sleep deprived, sickly. It makes me want to grab her and wrap her up in a big blanket and feed her until she doesn't look so thin.

My eyes are still on her when my father takes a drink of his coffee then levels a stare at the other High Lord of the table and says, "Hey Tam," A growl ripples from the other High Lord, "would you mind if we spar outside? Maybe even practice with some of your soldiers. Feyre thinks she's out of shape." I see Lena's head pop up and her eyes widen at that. I wonder what has her so surprised.

My mother hisses and mumbles, "Prick."

My father and I chuckle. Tamlin sighs. "Sure, just don't mess up my guards too bad."

No promises, my father says into my mind.

Lena's watching us, silent as she always is in her father's presence, and I might be imagining it but . . . she looks envious. I look at my mother and send into her mind, Do you think Lena wants to join us?

She looks at me for a second then shrugs, Probably not to fight but to watch, maybe.

Can we ask?

She smirks, Why ask when you can just coerce him into letting her come?

I flick a brow up, What do you mean? My mother hates manipulating people with our daemati powers, even if that person is Tamlin.

She rolls her eyes and turns her attention to Tamlin, "Has Lena ever watched any sparring sessions?" Lena's head pops up again at the sound of her name.

His answer is swift and cold. "No."

My mother purses her lips. "Certainly it would behoove her to see how capable her soldiers are. I mean, doesn't she need to trust their capability to guard her, protect her?" Of course I don't think my mother's tactics will work; how can the damn prick be concerned about his daughter's protection when he's the one that harms her?

But Mom obviously knows what gets to Tamlin because his eyes narrow before he says, "Of course."

Clapping her hands, my mom turns to Lena and casts a blinding smile, "Today you get to see how Illyrians fight."

Lena's face lights up like a sun.

Lena

Feyre stands next to me outside the training ring, waiting for her turn to get out there and cause destruction. I've seen a few of my soldiers fighting - they've been showing off for the Illyrian Night Court family - and I have to say that I hope the Night Court's sparring is more fun to watch because so far it's been really boring.

After yet another of my soldiers loses their sword within ten minutes Rhysand jumps into the circle and crooks a finger to Feyre. "Feyre darling, it's time to play." He purrs. Feyre smiles wickedly as she jumps in.

Kieran appears next to me, "This is going to be fun. My parents are very competitive when they spar."

I keep my eyes on the couple circling each other while I say, "Why?"

Kieran grimaces and mumbles, "They make deals for . . . favors."

What? "Fav - " The look in Kieran's eyes tells exactly what kind of favors. "Oh."

He nods.

"Interesting."

We watch the match in silence for a bit. They spin and twirl around each other, sometimes shooting sparks of magic at the other, their blades slam together only for one of them to fall back or jump away. Rhysand swipes and I think he almost has Feyre when she winnows and is suddenly behind him with the sword coming straight for his back and . . . he spins and blocks it.

"Who are you going to spar with?"

Kieran's eyes leave the match for a second as he says, "Whoever wins."

I lean against the rail and watch as Feyre sends a blast of water into Rhys' eyes. "Who normally wins?" 

He shrugs. "Whoever's having the best day and whoever wants their," He pauses to wince, "favor most."

I take my eyes away for a second and when I look back Rhys has Feyre pinned to the ground with a predatory gleam to his eyes, "I win. Guess what we're doing after I kick our sons ass." he leans down and kisses her and doesn't let her go for a good minute.

Kieran looks like he might puke at the intimacy.

Feyre bucks underneath him and says, "Nothing if you don't get your fat Illyrian ass off me."

He gets up and offer her his hand, pulling her up with him, "We both know Cass is the fat-ass Illyrian."

Feyre sticks her tongue out at him as she jumps back over the fence. She pats Kieran on the shoulder and kisses his cheek. "All right, sweetie, you're up."

"Mom," Kieran groans as he jumps over the fence and then . . . and then sweet mother of the Cauldron . . . he takes his shirt off. I'm probably gaping and looking like an absolute creep but geez. Males are not supposed to be that attractive. It should be illegal. I can see his other tattoos now that no fabric is covering them and they're just nondescript swirls - there's probably a reason behind them that I don't know about - and, of course, I can see every other piece of his chest. It's all muscle. Pure, lean, hard muscle.

I'm not taking my eyes off this match.

They don't coyly circle each other like Feyre and Rhysand started off. They just immediately attack. Swords clang together over and over again, neither male gets in a hit. They trip and disarm each other only for them to keep going. 

I almost think that it's not even taking a toll on them when I see a bead of sweat rolling down Kieran's chest and abs and just like that my mouth goes dry and my heartbeat picks up. Damn, I was trying not to gape.

I'm so captivated by his damn gorgeous chest that I almost don't notice when he actually nicks Rhysand. He nicked his father and . . . his father smiles proudly. "You're getting better; that normally takes you at least a half an hour."

Kieran flashes a cocky smile and jumps out the way in order to avoid a slice to the gut. "I am better."

Rhysand smirks. He must use his daemati powers to say something to Kieran because Kieran growls and his slashes and slices become more powerful.

Kieran

Your improved fighting isn't because of who's watching, right? I growl and throw myself into the fight. More strength. More stamina.

My father smirks again, knowing that he tapped into the root of it, She's watching you, you know. She's thinking all kinds of dirty thoughts as far as I can tell.

I stagger as I slice again, managing to get a glance at Lena and I notice that she does look like she's staring at me and it puffs up my pride, our swords hit in mid-air and I winnow to get behind my father like my mother had.

Except, I don't try to win by getting him in the back. I kick out the back of his bad knee, knowing it will heal in less than a minute, and as he goes down I lay my sword against the back of his neck. "I think I win, Dad."

He chuckles and winnows away to stand by my mom. "I guess you do. Looks like I owe you as well, darling."

My mom has a mischievous smile across her face. "Of course you do."

"You guys were betting on me?"

They have smirks on their faces as they winnow away, presumably to cash in on their bets, leaving Lena and I standing there. Alone.

I watch as she leans against the rail and studies me, eyes drifting from the top of my head all the way to my feet, and something heats in her gaze before she snuffs it out and cocks her head, "What are your other tattoos for?"

I pop a towel out of thin air and start wiping away sweat. I shrug as I say, "I thought they would look nice so I wanted them."

"So is it normal for females to fight in your Court?"

I shrug again. "For the most part, we don't really care. The Illyrians are a bit more . . . " I pause, searching for the word.

"Strict?" She offers.

I nod. "They're more strict with their females and their responsibilities. We've been trying to change that for ages but they're stuck in the past."

Lena purses her lips and I can tell she's thinking deep and hard about something. "Whatcha thinking about, sunshine?"

She looks down at the ground as her cheeks turn pink. Embarrassed. I gently grab her chin and make her look at me as I say, "Talk to me, sunshine."

She bites her lip and damn . . . I wanna reach up and pull it out from her teeth. Shit! Don't think like that. I remind myself.

Finally she stutters, "Could - could . . . would you," She stops and closes her eyes, seeming to gather courage. Her eyes snap open as she asks in a rush, "Would you teach me how to fight?"

I wasn't expecting that. "You want to learn how to fight?"

She nods shyly.

As the heir to a Court, she should already know. As a female, she should know. As a female, as gorgeous as a goddess she should know. "All right. We'll start tonight."

She smiles and it's . . . blinding.

And I can't keep myself from smiling back.

Lena

I sneak out of the manor the same way I always do and rush Sky into the treeline only to have Kieran swoop down out the shadows in front of us. "Training begins now." I shiver at the hard edge in his voice . . . it's very appealing.

I dismount and tie Sky up. I fumble to catch the sword he throws at me, but I do manage to catch it. I unsheathe it like him.

"Let's see what you've got."

He swings and I bring my sword up to stop his at the last second. I shove it back. "Aren't you suppose to give me a lesson? Explain sword techniques and stuff, Sword-Fighting 101?"

He smirks. Oh, that smirk. "Sunshine, I believe in learning in the moment. Plus, I want to see what you've got naturally before I start teaching you anything."

He swings and I don't have time to bring my sword up but I do have time to jump back. His sword slashes through the air and . . . 

Clang!

My sword meets his. Our eyes meet and we hold each other's gazes as our swords push against each other's, trying to disarm the other. "You're very strong." He comments, I can almost see a glimmer of pride in his eyes but it disappears quickly.

I grit my teeth, trying to keep this sword in my hand and against his while he's pushing against it is difficult, "I climb out my window and back up it every night, you gain a little muscle after awhile."

"How do you get past the guards?"

I push harder against him. "Shapeshifting."

He pulls back and steps away. "What other kinds of magic did you get from him?" I don't have to ask who him is.

I hold my sword out, preparing for a surprise attack, "Air manipulation," he swings his sword towards me and I block it. "animal transformation," I feint left but go right as he swipes at me and misses, "glamouring." I lean backwards just in time to miss a swipe. "I suppose I can winnow but I've never tried."

His swings stop. "You could leave? But you've never tried?"

My face turns red from anger, I swing at him and he brings his sword up to stop me. "Don't judge me! He would find me. Where do I have to go? No other Court would take in Tamlin's daughter; they'd sell me back to him for a corn chip." I stop, panting. "I have nowhere to run."

"Sorry," His face softens and then he smiles. "Shapeshift for me."

This catches me off-guard. "What?"

"Change into a bird or something."

I shake my head, that's too much magic. It would take up what I have stored for helping Sky and I get back into the manor. "Can't. Aren't you supposed to be training me to fight?"

He shakes his head and chuckles, something twinkles in his eyes as he says, "Whatever you want, sunshine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They sparred! Kieran got shirtless *heart eyes* and Feyre and Rhysand got all sexy.


	7. Part 7

Kieran

Training was amazing. That girl - no, that female - is a quick learner. It'll take years for her to beat me but she was so much better than I thought she would be for her first lesson. And Cauldron, she looked gorgeous fighting with messy, wild curls and a proud smile spread across her face. She was swift and strong as she turned into something fierce.

This morning she looks tired - dark circles ring her eyes as she yawns - but I know it's not my fault. We didn't stay out there that late. It was her nightmares. She told me about them between swipes. How she's never sure if they're real or not. How they are always different and always horrifying. How they're painful. The only thing she didn't tell me was what they were about and who else starred in them. I think I have a guess though.

I watch as she eats every bit of her food again and then leaves the table. I wonder where she's going? The library, maybe. She did say she likes to read. After I finish my plate, I excuse myself and find the library.

My guess of how she was planning on spending her day is correct. I find her curled up in a bay window's seat reading a thick volume. She jumps and gasps as my voice breaks the peaceful silence of the library, "Is this what you do all day?"

She sticks her tongue out at me. "I told you I read."

I raise a brow. "All day, everyday?"

She rolls her eyes. "No, not all day everyday." She shakes her head sadly. "I normally visit the village, try and help out and stuff, but I'm banned from leaving the house for however long my father says."

I bristle at the thought of her being locked up like a pretty bird in this gilded cage, but an idea pops into my head that has me smiling. "Would you like to go somewhere?"

Her brow furrows. "But I'm not allowed to go anywhere."

I wiggle my brows and hold out a hand for her. "You're only in trouble if he catches you."

A sly smile forms on her face as she takes my hand. "What did you have in mind?"

And we're gone.

Lena

I blink as my feet touch the green grass. We're just in the forest. I figured Kieran would take me somewhere special, somewhere more awe-inspiring.

"The forest?"

He shrugs. "I figured that your father wouldn't like it too much if I brought you to Night Court." Oh, yeah. "Besides, it's nice here. We can go for a walk. Enjoy the birds and the bees."

I look around, I suppose that for a visitor it probably seems nice. But I've been in this forest a hundred times and it never changes. Nothing ever changes here in Spring.

"All right. Since you seem to think it's so nice here."

He chuckles and starts walking in a random direction. I huff as I follow him.

"So what's it like?" At his confused expression I add, "The Night Court, what's it like?"

A smile breaks across his face and his gaze turns far away, dreamy. "It's amazing and beautiful. My Court is full of dreamers. Night Court is a place where anyone can go and fit in because we accept everyone."

I smile at the thought. "I hear the nights there are far more beautiful than any we have here."

He nods. "Our night skies always have stars, even if the clouds should be covering them, and our stars shine brighter, the moon looks closer. The sky seems to have more colors than your nights do as well, instead of just navy blue you can see hints of dark purple and maroon and other colors."

A thrill runs through me at the thought of a night-sky more beautiful than the one I've been staring at for the past seventeen years. "Sounds amazing." I let my hand brush against a patch of moss growing on a passing tree. "I wish my Court was that amazing."

"What do you mean?"

I snort. "My Court is a nightmare." I watch my feet as I walk, scared I'm going to trip over a root and embarrass myself. "My people starve in that village. They get injured from rebuilding things and protecting themselves from creatures in our woods that should be my father's job to take care of. They have to pay a tithe every year that they cannot afford. They fall ill and fall back on payments because they can't work and then they lose everything."

I frown and think about their reactions when my father visits the village. "They're - they're terrified of my father, of his wrath. They know that he's not good for this Court and they can't do anything about it because he's so strong and the guards are loyalists because he feeds their families well - better than how they would be fed if they just worked in the village."

Kieran shakes his head. "I'm sorry."

I bite my lip. "It's not your fault." I know who's fault it is. He sits on a golden throne on a dais in a manor that was built on the already broken backs of our people.

We walk in silence for awhile. It's not an awkward silence; it's a comfortable silence.

I almost think that we'll be finishing our trip in complete silence when he asks the most unusual and uncomfortable question ever.

"Will you tell me about your fiance?"

And I trip over a root.

Kieran

I don't know why I ask the question. I just know that I was thinking about him - the man that gets to wake up next to her and hold her and kiss her - and a sudden rage filled me but also curiosity made it's way to the forefront of my brain. Who is this male? Does she love him? Does he love her? Is he good to her? Are they mates?

Right as the question escapes my lips she stumbles over a root and I quickly turn to catch her. My hands grasp her waist to hold her up as her hands find my shoulders, steadying herself. She looks up shyly with a blush flushing her face. She opens her mouth to say something then she closes it and just stares at me. I find myself leaning forward and - stop. I pull myself away. She has a fiance for Cauldron's sake.

She looks hurt as she mumbles, "Thanks."

"Of course." We keep walking and I wonder if she's going to answer my question. I decide that I don't want her to. I don't want to hear about the male. I don't want to know if he loves her. I don't want to know if she loves him. And I definitely don't want to know if he's her mate.

But I have to know if there's a chance that she feels this . . . connection between us or if I'm just crazy, so I turn to her and hold out my hand.

Lena

I'm not going to lie; Kieran pulling away when I thought he was going to kiss me really hurt. I'm about to ask if we can head back to the manor when he turns towards me and holds out his hand, unfurling his wings. "Would you like to fly again?" And just like that he's forgiven for the brush-off earlier.

I take his hand, reveling in the scrape of his callouses against mine. "I would love to." He smiles brightly, tugging my hand and pulling me into his arms. He wraps me up against him tightly and I feel safe in the arms of the male who made a vow to protect me and help me, a vow so strong that it's tattooed in his skin.

I close my eyes and wrap my arms around his neck as he shoots up into the sky and open my eyes to find us already soaring above the treeline.

I savor the feeling of the cool wind twisting itself through my hair and caressing my cheeks, probably making them flush. He slows down and lands, sitting us on a wide branch at the top of a tree and making me sit on his lip. He exhales and clears his throat; he keeps his eyes closed like he's dreading what he's about to say.

And I brace myself for what I know is going to happen. He's going to reject me, I shouldn't have looked so wanting earlier. I know it looked like I was trying to get him to kiss me because I did want him to kiss me. I wanted it and I shouldn't have because we're supposed to be friends, only friends. Friends don't kiss.

But damn, I wish they did.

But then he opens his eyes and he says it. Not a rejection but an offer of hope. "I've dreamed of you. For over a year, I've had dreams of you. And," He closes his eyes again, squeezing them tight. "and now whenever I'm near you I feel this tugging inside me. Do you . . . " He swallows. "Do you ever feel that, sunshine?"

I bite my lip. Whisper, "Yeah, I feel it." but as his eyes snap open I shake my head. "I shouldn't though. I'm betrothed."

He leans closer to rest his forehead against mine and takes his untattooed arm away from my waist -the other tightens - and he gently grabs my left hand from around his neck.

"I don't see a ring. And I don't see a binding tattoo either." He brings the hand up to his mouth and kisses it, sending sparks shooting up my arm, before sliding it back around his neck and wrapping his arm back around me.

He leans forward so his lips are nearly touching mine and I'm breathing in his scent. His lips faintly brush against mine as he whispers, "If you care for him, even a smidge, I'll winnow you back to the manor and we'll only be friends. I can deal with that. But if you don't care about him at all . . . we'll figure it out."

His eyes hold mine and I believe him. For some reason, I believe him. I believe in this pull, this bond, between us.

So I exhale slowly and say, "He's bald and always tells me that I'll be his lovely little trophy wife," he inhales slightly and his hand tightens on my back. "I promise you that there is not a single cell in my body that cares for that man - "

He barely lets me finish before he kisses me and I swear it sets the whole world right. It's soft and sweet and warm and everything I hoped for and definitely better than I thought my first kiss would be. And he doesn't stop there.

After the first kiss ends, he stares at me with a wondrous look before he rushes in for more. His hand move; one rubs my back slowly and the other comes up and twists around my curls and . . . Forget setting the world right; these kisses set the world on fire. These kisses are rough with tongue and teeth. These are not soft and sweet, but they're better somehow. More passionate.

When we pull away, needing to breathe air instead of each other, we stare at each other and I feel like the world around me has paused, stopped; the birds are frozen in the air, the wind is gone, and the limbs of the trees are no longer swaying. It's like there's only us and I feel something . . . I feel something snap into place. It feels like it's been inside me my whole life but now I can feel it and it's warm and bright and here. It's permanent - binding - nothing can break it and wrapped around it is a deep love for and a need to protect . . .

I gasp as I realize what this feeling - this bond - is. Kieran's eyes widen as he the realization comes to him too.

"Lena," A shiver runs down my spine at the sound of his husky, just-kissed voice saying my name. "you're my mate."

I'm going to have fun explaining this to my father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They kissed. They're mates. It's fate!


	8. Part 8

Lena

I gulp down the fear that starts to course its way through me; fear for myself - my life - when my father finds out that my mate is his enemies son and fear for Kieran. I don't know what my father will do to him but I know that I won't be able to stand by and let it happen. The mate bond screams at me to protect him but I don't know how.

I can't even protect myself.

But there's another fear in me. Why me? I can't be someone's mate. I'm sure Kieran's thinking the same thing. Why her? I mean it's impossible that he actually likes the idea of me being his mate. Who would? I've never been anyone's first choice, only Roric's and that was for the power I could provide him not me, but that's just it: I'm not his choice. He didn't choose me. The Cauldron chose for me to be with him. Maybe he doesn't want some old, giant bowl to decide who he ends up with. Even if Kieran is happy right now, eventually he'll grow tired of me. He'll leave me and it'll break me because even now after so little time I'm falling hard for him. I can't imagine losing him after having more time with him.

I need to think. I need to think and be away from him for awhile. Especially be away from him for awhile - the bond is screaming at me and it wants me screaming his name. "Can - can we go back to the manor please? I need time . . . to think."

He nods, eyes shining, and says, "Of course, sunshine. Whatever you want."

He grabs my hand and suddenly we're back in the library.

I drop his hand quickly - just that little contact is enough to set me on fire right now - and stride to the door.

All the lore that I've heard about mate bonds comes back to me and I stop before the door and whisper, "Will he be able to smell the mate bond?"

I don't look back but I know that he's shaking his head, "I don't think so. I think the bond has to be . . . accepted and," he pauses slightly before continuing, "consummated."

A blush creeps across my face at the implications of that word. Consummated. It doesn't help that the mate bond is whining and screaming for the "consummation" to happen already.

My hand is on the knob twisting when he says, "Sunshine, can I tell my parents? They might have some . . . insight on some things."

Tell his parents. Will they tell my father? No, they hate him. They wouldn't tell him. I nod once and mutter, "Yes." then I walk out the door and practically sprint to my room.

I close and lock my door behind me and start pacing.

Kieran is my mate. We are mates. I'm not opposed to the idea of him being my mate - quite the opposite actually - but I'm betrothed. But a mating bond earns a higher level of respect than even marriage. It's sacred. No one would begrudge me for breaking off a betrothal because I found my mate.

Except my father.

He would. He doesn't respect mate bonds. He doesn't care. He tried to break Rhys and Feyre's, he thought he succeeded. Would he try to do the same to Kieran and I? Yes, without blinking; if he doesn't kill us first. It only makes it worse that my mate had to be his ex-lover and her mate's child. It couldn't have been some random boy. Oh, no. He had to be the Night Court heir.

I yelp when someone knocks on my door, startling me out of my deep thoughts. My heart jumps a little when I think that maybe it's Kieran.

I rush over and open the door. It's not Kieran.

My father stands outside my door.

"Daughter, wear something nicer for dinner tonight. We are having a visitor." He turns to go, but pauses and looks back at me, noticing my bare hand, "And wear your ring." then he leaves.

A visitor. Wear something nicer. Wear my ring.

Wear my ring.

I only have to wear my ring when . . .

Roric is back.

Kieran

I sit on my bed and cradle my head in my hands before calling out to my parents using my daemati powers.

Mom. Dad. I need to talk to you about something.

They immediately pop into my room and sit down on the bed. My mother sits beside me and runs a hand through my hair while my father sits on the other side and pats my shoulder.

My mother's concerned voice floats into my ear, "What's going on, honey?"

I sigh and look up, resting my chin on my fists. "I . . . I found my mate."

My father elbows me lightly. "We know. Little Lena, right?"

I nod. "Yeah, yeah it is. The Cauldron must be fucking cruel."

"Yes, it is." My mother looks at my father sadly and I remember that he died putting the Cauldron back together - yeah, definitely a cruel piece of kitchenware. "But why do you think so? Lena's a wonderful girl."

I shake my head and rush to my feet, pacing the length of my floor. "That's just it. She's amazing. And beautiful. And smart. And . . . I'm already falling hard for her. But she's engaged, fucking betrothed, to some idiot male who only wants into her knickers and her power. He wants a trophy wife and . . . Do you honestly think Tamlin will break off their engagement just because I'm her mate?"

I suddenly jump into the worst possible conclusion and start rambling, "She's probably going to be trapped here for the rest of her life with that male - that beast - hurting her if she does something he doesn't like and then she has to be married to that schmuck and I get to be stuck without her for the rest of my immortal life dealing with this damn tugging and a fucking pain in my heart."

My father examines his nails, digging some nonexistent dirt out of one. "Or . . . when we leave we can bust her out of here."

I stare at him for a minute, uncomprehending. I bite my lip and furrow my brow before saying, "That'll start a war." Not like I won't go to war for her. I'll fight off a thousand men myself if I get one good day with her.

"It'll be a war with six Courts against one. All the Courts owe Night Court after the war, even if they saved me, and none of them would dare let mates be separated." My father explains with a deathly serious look, but I'm remembering the story of how him and my mother were separated. The Courts allowed that.

"But - "

My mother stands up and plants her hands on my shoulders. "No buts, Kieran. We are going to make sure you get to be with your mate. You worry too much. You're just like bat-head over there." She tilts her head to my dad who grunts at the nickname.

I lift a corner of my lips in a half-smile. "Okay, Mom."

"Now, you should go start picking something nice out for dinner. Tamlin informed us that he would be having a special visitor tonight."

"I'm not dressing up for the dick's special visitor." I grumble.

My mom sighs, "Darling, it'll be easier to convince Tamlin to let Lena come with us if we're nice."

I roll my eyes. "Fine. I'll dress up, but I'm not being nice to him." I mutter as I winnow out and into my room.

Lena

Lynette and the other ladies make me wear a formfitting, halter neck dress with a low back - my skin shows all the way to the small of my back. The fabric of the dress is soft and comforting and it's tight around my abdomen and my hips but loosens a little a few inches down my thighs. It's too tight, too revealing; the only thing I really like about this dress is that it's dark. It's a beautiful dark violet that reminds me of Kieran's eyes at night when they're slightly darker than they are during the day.

My ladies help me pull on gold heels and long, dangly gold earrings. The bruise on my shoulder is less visible than it was this morning but the ladies still want to cover it so they pull my hair into a thick, loose - but secure - braid with a few strands falling out and surrounding my face. They pull the braid to the side and over my shoulder to cover the bruise and do my makeup - they put a darker pink gloss on my lips and do winged kohl lining my eyes, they also put some powder on my back to hide the scars that reach from the bottom of my left shoulder blade to my right hip.

I have to say I look beautiful, even if I feel awkward in such a form-revealing dress. And damn, it is revealing, this dress leaves nothing to imagination.

The last thing they do is put my ring on my finger; it's gold and - in my opinion - gaudy, the diamond is huge and I hate it. It has no heart. It's not romantic and it's certainly not me. This was chosen without any love, without any care, and it's obvious because anyone who knows me would know that all I need is a simple band maybe with some engravings on it - something meaningful - and definitely not gold, fucking Spring Court gold.

I cringe as the ring slides on my finger, the unfamiliar and hated metal is cold against my skin. But I swallow it down and even manage to smile. "Thanks, ladies. You're all so helpful."

Lynette opens the door for me. "Do you want one of us to escort you, my lady?"

A smile twitches across my face. "No, I think I'll make it."

I walk out the door and down the hall, my heels clinking against the floors. I start to chew on the inside of my cheek as I walk down the stairs. I'm all out twisting my hands in front of me as I walk towards the set of doors that open to the dining room. As I reach the doors, I collect myself. My hands still and stay holding each other in a placid gesture as I square my shoulders, straightening my back, and I lift my head high. I release my cheek from my teeth and walk through the doors.

My father sits at the head of the table and he's not alone in the room. Roric is there. He's sitting in the chair across from my usual seat looking as cold and detached as ever. His brown hair looks limp and greasy from the gel he uses to slick it back and his eyes are the dull brown that they always have been though right now they're also icy like he's angry. Why would he be - 

My father looks up and notices me in the doorway. "Rosalena, come in. Sit."

I stride across the room and quickly take my seat. "Ah, I'm so happy to see my lovely betrothed." Roric sneers.

I keep my eyes down and say quietly, "It is a joy to see you as well."

I can tell that he smirks without even having to look up. "Such a beautiful prize."

Prize. As if I'm a piece of candy or stuffed animal and not a living, breathing Fae.

I'm about to mutter a thank you for what I have to pretend to interpret as a compliment when Rhysand and Feyre arrive with Kieran behind them. 

Kieran. He looks damn handsome in an all-black tunic with silver lining and black trousers that fit really well on his ass - not that I'm staring at his ass - and his hair looks like . . . I blush as I realize that it looks like it's still mussed from when I was running my hands through it while we were kissing earlier. This time, Feyre sits beside me with Rhysand on her other side while Kieran sits next to Roric.

Kieran smiles at me as he sits but his smile falls when he sees the ring on my finger; hurt and betrayal plays across his face and his eyes flicker with devastation. I wish there was some way for me to tell him that I'm not wearing this ring because I want to but because I have to.

My father stands and holds up his champagne glass, "Now that we're all here, let's have a toast. A toast to Roric, who just got back from trading with Dawn Court, and for one other thing - his marriage to my daughter. We've talked and decided to bump up the wedding to two weeks from now."

Roric lifts his glass but he's the only one. I'm staring at my father - the horror written across my face - with wide eyes and a gaping mouth. Kieran looks at me once and it's long enough for him to know that this is the last thing I want. When his eyes find my father a burning rage enters them and I'm terrified that he'll attack him. And Rhysand and Feyre are staring at Kieran warily, trying to figure out what he's going to do.

My father clears his throat and says, "The proper thing to do when someone makes a toast is to honor the toast by taking a drink." His claws slide out an inch.

I finally snap out of my horror and find my voice, "I thought we were waiting until I was eighteen." I look from him to Roric. "I was promised that I wouldn't be forced into a marriage until I was eighteen."

My father walks around his chair to stand behind me and he bends over, placing his claws on my shoulder, he whispers in a harsh voice, "Promises are meant to be broken," His claws scrape against the soft skin of my shoulder and across to my throat making me to flinch. Kieran abruptly stands, sending his chair crashing down, but my father continues, "after all, Feyre promised me she'd marry me," A snarl from both Feyre and Rhysand, "your mother promised me she'd give me a son," his claws press in a little more, "she lied." I flinch, my mother died before she could ever have another child and he's blaming her. 

Another snarl echoes across the room and it's from Kieran as he winnows from his spot across the table to right next to my father and smashes his fist into my father's jaw. My father staggers back a step from the force of the blow but only chuckles and spits out some blood. "That all you got, boy?"

Kieran shakes his head vehemently and snarls, "Not even close." but Rhysand wraps his arms around Kieran from behind, restraining him. Kieran shakes and pulls and pushes against his father, struggling to have the chance to fight my father, and he's not calming down.

I shake my head as an idea on how to calm him comes to mind . . . I'm going to get in so much trouble for this. I'll do it anyway. I stand and walk right up to him, placing my hand on his cheek. 

"That's not a good idea when he's like this, Lena." Rhysand says, tightening his grip.

I shake my head and stroke Kieran's cheek. "He wouldn't hurt me."

I place my free hand on his other cheek and hold him still so he's looking at me and only me. "You're better than this, Kieran, so much better." I whisper, wishing we were alone, as I lift myself up on my tiptoes - I'm surprised my father hasn't already ripped me away from him - and rest my forehead against his. "It's all right. He's not worth it. He'll get what's coming to him. But this . . . this isn't you."

He stares at me intensely - his struggling stops - and as Rhysand drops his arms Kieran wraps his own around me, hugging me tightly against him. I hold him back, knowing that if my father has anything to say about this - and he will - then this is probably the last time I'll get to. I inhale the scent of jasmine that seems to cling to him as I feel something brushing softly against my mind, something soft and wrapped in starlight. I let it in.

And Kieran's voice is in my head, Thanks, sunshine. I just - he really got to me; when he had his claws against your neck . . . I just had to protect you, not because of the bargain we made or because of the bond but because I'm falling hard for you.

I don't know how to respond into his mind like he did mine - I'm not sure I could without daemati powers - so I whisper, "Me too." and he holds tighter. And I almost forget that there are other people in the room.

Almost.

I hear a stiff voice say, "Rosalena, darling, why are you hugging this male? C'mon, dear, step away. You know how Illyrian's are with their 'urges' and everything." Kieran's chest rumbles against me as he growls.

I plant a kiss on Kieran's chest through is tunic, but step away and out of his arms. "No, but I know how power-hungry pricks are when they decide they want to marry a girl that has no interest in marrying them."

My father growls for the first time all evening and I look at him to find him frozen in anger; his face is burning red with rage but his eyes are as cold as ice. His claws are all the way out and fur from his animal form is starting to poke through his skin. Shit. He hasn't been this angry since . . . The scars on my back burn.

I back up a step, trying to get closer to Kieran, as my father steps forward and points a clawed hand at me, "You, stay here." he looks at everyone else, "You all, leave." Roric scampers out, but Kieran and his parents stay, "NOW!"

They still don't leave.

I feel tears budding in my eyes because no one has ever stayed when my father wants to be alone with me but I know that if they don't leave now he won't hesitate to hurt them too so I hold my head up and turn around and with fierce determination say, "Leave, I'll be fine. I promise. Just go."

Feyre looks me in the eyes for a second - searching for something - and she must find whatever she's looking for because she tugs on Rhysand's sleeve and they winnow away. But Kieran - My Kieran stays.

He takes a step towards me, but I hold a hand out to stop him and he listens because he'd never do anything I didn't want him to do. I look him in the eyes - barely containing the tears I'm pushing back - and say, "Go. Please. I need you to go."

He squeezes his eyes shut, but fades into shadows and winnows away.

As soon as he's gone, my father grabs my hair roughly and uses his grip on it to throw me across the room. I slam into the wall hard, but not as hard as I could've. I bite back any kind of noise of pain. It only makes him hit harder.

"Now that we're alone, Rosalena, we're are going to discuss your many, many misdemeanors."

Cauldron, I have too many misdemeanors for him to stay calm. He's going to blow a gasket. Or a dining room.

Kieran

She told me to go. She wanted me to leave, needed me to go. She said please. Maybe she doesn't think her father will hurt her, she knows him better than me. But . . . I can't help it. Does she not want me to protect her? I'm her mate. It's my job to protect her.

Maybe she doesn't want me to be her mate . . .

But that's ridiculous. She pulled me back from my anger earlier. She held me. She kissed my chest - I still feel that kiss sparking on my skin. She didn't have to do any of that. She wanted to.

She said "Me too." when I admitted to falling in love with her.

I sigh. It's just my nerves. She wants to be my mate, just as much as I want to be hers. I shake my head, changing to content of my mind's thoughts. 

She was stunning tonight. That dress left no room for imagination. It clung firmly to her breast and hips and damn if we were the only ones in the room that dress would've lasted five seconds before I ripped it off her. The only thing wrong was that damn ring.

That damn ring sent a jolt of fear and horror through me. She's never worn a ring before and I thought that it meant that she was telling me to stay away, that she was already someone else's. But I'm pretty fucking sure Tamlin made her wear it for his big announcement.

Two weeks. Two weeks until my mate is supposed to marry some other male. Not going to happen.

I'm about to shed my tunic and get ready for bed when I feel a wave of fear sweep over me, except it's not mine.

Lena.

Lena, are you okay? What's he doing to you? I ask through the bond, before reminding myself that she has no idea how to send anything back. Then all I feel is her pain and horror and fear and I know what's happening. He's hurting you! I'm going to kill him. 

Lena

He grabs my hair, painfully pulling me up by it, he says, "You were talking to the Night Court brat! Did you meet him when you sneaked out at night?" 

He pulls my hair painfully when I don't answer immediately so I nod.

He pushes me back into the wall. "You little - you promised me you wouldn't. You lied to me!"

The room starts to rattle.

"You talked back to me the other night at dinner."

A chair shatters.

"You talked back to me tonight."

All the chairs shatter and I don't have enough time to throw up a shield of air as a piece of wood hits me in the stomach.

"Your little friend's punch, I know it's about what I said to you." He turns around facing the destruction he's caused.

For the first time, I feel a jolt of fear as his claws slide all the way out, glistening and sharp, and I hear Kieran's voice in my head, Lena, are you okay? What's he doing to you? He turns around and his claws swipe through the air, I scream from pain as the claws slice through my side. I fall to the floor from the pain of the previous blows mixing with this new one. He's hurting you! I'm going to kill him.

My father growls in satisfaction and says, "And, of course, there is always what you did with the demon spawn tonight."

Just as he says that Kieran appears behind him and taps him on the shoulder. "Hey, dickhead, the demon-spawn is here and he's not happy."

When my father turns around Kieran punches him hard enough that I hear the crack even in my pained, disoriented state.

My father falls to the floor and Kieran jumps on him punching him again and again. "If you ever touch her again, I'll kill you." He keeps saying that over and over and I'm sure if he doesn't stop soon he'll kill him now.

I have to stop him. My Kieran doesn't want to be a murderer.

I wince as I sit up and reach for him. I try to whisper in a strained voice, "Kieran, I . . . "

He stops punching and runs over to me. "I'm sorry, sunshine. I shouldn't have left. I knew it. But you wanted me to and I thought . . . " He shakes his head. "I'm getting you out of here. Okay?"

I manage a nod, but I'm seeing stars and not the ones in his eyes.

He gathers me in his arms, slowly and gently, and kisses my forehead before winnowing away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So don't think that Lena is weak or anything. She's a seventeen year old girl who's father has been abusing her for years . . . okay? She's terrified of him and she has no idea how to stand up to him; she's never seen anyone stand up to him. So that's why she didn't save herself in this chapter k? That's why Kieran had to save her.


	9. Part 9

Kieran

Winnowing out of there was probably the best thing I've ever done. I never want to be in the Spring Court again.

But flying through the harsh winds at top speed with my heavily bleeding mate in my arms is definitely not fun. I know where I want to go, but I can't winnow into it directly or even close to it. There are so many wards around it thanks to my folks. They became so paranoid when I was born and then the twins came along so they placed ward after ward on the cabin. 

I'm about to just winnow to Velaris when I see it. The cabin.

I push my wings harder, faster, and finally touch down right in front of the door. I kick it open and rush in, folding my wings so it's easier. I hurry to an extra bedroom. It only has a dresser, a bed, and a side table but for an emergency stitching-up it's perfect. I lay Lena down on the bed's white sheets and run back to the kitchen where a first-aid kit is kept.

When I return, her blue blood is soaking the white sheets under and around her. Digging through the kit, I find what I need: a flask with a sterilizing liquid, a clean needle, and thread.

Before I do anything medical though, I need to get that dress off her. I sit on the edge of the bed and roll her onto her uninjured side so I can find whatever's holding the dress together in the back. I have to choke down my nausea as I look at the huge bruise that's covering her back. It's not enough to cover the scars that must've been covered with makeup earlier. I run my finger along one and whisper to myself, "How could anyone do this to you, sunshine?"

There's nothing I can see on the fabric around her hips so I look up at the string around her neck and see that there's a button. That's it. A single button keeping the whole dress up. I flick it open and flip her back on her back. I tug the dress off and throw it across the room.

"I imagined pulling that dress off you, but it was under a whole different context. Maybe some other day." I murmur and stroke her cheek.

I choke as I look down at her and see the bruises covering her body. A large fading one completely covers the middle of her stomach and a new one seems to be forming right over it. There are more tiny fading ones dotting her golden skin. And the scars. Small ones that look like they were made from pieces of glass or small knives. Others that look like they were made from claws. "Oh, sunshine."

I take off my tunic and put it on her for her modesty but I pull it up over her side to work on her wounds. I start to clean out her gashes and she starts moaning in pain. I thought she was asleep but I look up from my work to find her eyes fluttering open.

She whispers in a cracked voice, "What are you doing?"

I go back to work and she moans as the liquid stings in her wounds. "I'm sorry, sunshine, but I'm trying to heal your wound. Once I have it sterilized and stitched up I can use my healing powers on it." I got a few of my mother's powers as well as all of my father's and - for once - I am so glad that I got the healing instead of the ice - though ice would have been really cool.

I shrug when I think it's clean enough and get out the needle and thread. "This is going to hurt, baby, and I'm sorry but I need to do it."

I bring the needle down.

And my heart shatters into a million pieces as she starts crying.

Lena

I know I'm crying and whining as the needle threads in and out of my already sore skin. I try and bite my lip or clench my fists or bite the inside of my cheek but nothing helps. This torture continues for a few minutes that feel like hours.

But it does stop and I feel Kieran's lips on my forehead and my cheeks, kissing away my tears, as he whispers that he's sorry over and over again. Then he's holding something against my lips. "Drink this, sunshine."

I open my mouth and drink whatever it is and nearly choke on it. It tastes like iron and it's thick, thick like . . . blood. I move my mouth away and wrinkle my nose. "What is that?"

"My blood, it'll heal you."

"But - "

He puts whatever it was over my mouth again and says, "Sorry, baby, but I need you to drink this."

I sigh and start gulping it down. I feel a tingling sensation up and down my body as the blood travels through my system. Healing the minor bruises - on my back and my stomach - from the dining room furniture exploding along with the nearly faded bruise on my shoulder and trying to heal the gashes on my side. I don't think those fully clear up but they feel better. I don't feel a stinging pain from moving anymore.

I mumble, "Thanks." as he removes what I now know is his arm from my mouth and starts putting bandages on the gashes.

When he looks satisfied with his bandaging, he pulls the earrings out of my ears and throws them into a corner of the room and takes the ring off my finger and closes his fist around it. I see steam rising off his hand and then he opens his fist and lets me see that he melted my ring. Then he picks me up in his arms, cradling me against his chest, and carries me out of the room. "You'll be staying with me, mainly because I want you to but also because your blood stained the bed in there."

I yawn. "All right."

He kisses my forehead as he lays me on a bed with dark sheets. "Get some sleep, sunshine."

I smile sleepily and mumble, "I like when you call me that."

Kieran

Her wound seems to be healing, not as quickly as I hoped and I'm still worried. I can't sleep because of it. I keep thinking that I might accidentally roll over on her and hurt her or I might swipe my hand out and hit her side. 

So I don't sleep. I talk to my parents in my mind and I watch her most of the night. Watching her is definitely the most fun out of the two. She looks so peaceful and beautiful in her sleep. Her golden hair is fanned out on the dark cotton of my pillows and sheets and her pink lips are open slightly while she snores softly.

She never looks this peaceful awake. She normally has a sad edge to her like it's etched into her. I make a vow to change that. I'm going to make sure she never has to be sad again.

I guess at some point I fell asleep because when I open my eyes bright light is streaming through the windows and she's awake watching me with those bright green eyes.

She whispers, "Hi."

I smile and scoot closer. "Hi, sunshine."

She inches closer to me. "Where are we?"

I pause, considering my words. Does she want to be in the Night Court? She'll know eventually but . . . "A cabin in the mountains." She raises a brow. "In my Court."

She bites her lip, seeming to think about something. She doesn't speak for a few minutes as she chews on her bottom lip. I reach over and pull her lip from her teeth with my thumb - which is a lot more fun than I imagined - and that seems to spur her into action. Her voice is husky and sad as she asks, "When do I have to go back?" I see tears in her eyes and I can't handle it.

I pull her close to me, right up to my chest, and wrap my arms around her slender body as I whisper in her ear, "You never have to go back, baby. Never. Not unless you want to."

She buries her head against my chest and mumbles, "I don't. I don't. Ever."

"All right, sunshine, all right."

"Thank you."

I shake my head; she doesn't have to thank me for not making her go back to that - that horror show. "For what?"

"For saving me."

I laugh. "What are mates for?"

She kisses my chest like she did last night after calming me down except this time my chest is bare and we're alone and she's only wearing my tunic and her panties. This kiss sends flames licking down my body. "You're a better mate than others I've seen."

I snort. "I left you with your father when I knew he might hurt you." I roll onto my back and run my hands through my hair. "Yeah, I'm such a great mate."

She grabs one of my hands and kisses it. "You are a great mate." Her free hand finds my cheek and tilts my face towards her. "I wanted you to go. I needed you to go. I couldn't stand it if he hurt you."

I put a hand on her waist, lifting the tunic so I can see the bandages I placed over her gashes. I take the bandages off - they needed to be changed anyways - and reveal her wounds; they're healing slowly, but they're red and angry looking. 

"You see these?" She looks down and her eyes close in on the gashes. "These are my fault. Because I left. Because I left you with him and I didn't get there in time to protect you."

She shakes her head. "I didn't want your protection. I wanted you to be safe."

I recover her wounds with the tunic. "You don't get to choose whether I risk myself to protect you. If I want to keep you safe I will."

She winces slightly as she quickly crosses her arms over her chest. "Same here, bat-head."

I can see she's not backing down from this so I change the subject by making a joke. I place my hand on my chest in an exaggerated flair and open my mouth in an offended 'O'. "How dare you call me such a negative thing. After all, my nickname for you is such a sweet endearment and you call me 'bat-head', it's just hurtful."

She giggles then winces as if that hurts, though it probably does with the gashes and everything. I sigh and stand from the bed, stretching my arms above my head as I yawn. I feel something; like a glimmer of . . . appreciation from the bond. I look back at her to find her watching me with hungry eyes.

"Ahem, sunshine, it's not polite to stare."

She blushes as if she's embarrassed to be caught watching me, but then she says, "You're my mate. I'll stare if I want."

I chuckle. "All right." I open a drawer in my dresser and pull out a shirt for myself which I pull on over the wings with ease. "I'm going to get breakfast. Stay here."

She looks at me with wide eyes. "What if someone comes?"

I shrug. "No one can get in unless they're related to me or they've been invited in, like the Inner Circle," She starts to form a question and I answer it without letting her even voice it, "you'll meet them later. No one, not even my parents, can winnow in here either so don't worry. I'll be back quickly. Go back to sleep. Rest will help your wounds."

She sighs and nods. "Okay, but be quick. I'm hungry." I hear her stomach grumble as if offering proof.

I nod and then out the door, out of the house, and soaring through the winds until I can winnow to Velaris.

Lena

I'd like to be able to look around the cabin - do a thorough investigation - to occupy myself while Kieran's gone but really I don't think I can get up; my wounds are healing but damn it if they don't hurt like hell.

I can't sleep though.

My brain won't let me. It's too busy celebrating. I'm free. I'm free. I'm free. I haven't even thought about escaping my father for years. Not since I earned the scars on my back. And now . . . I'm free with my mate in a cabin in the Night Court. I''m on the complete opposite side of Prythian from Spring. And I'm free.

"I'm free." I whisper.

Then I'm crying. First it's just a few little tears then it's all out bawling. Tears of joy roll down my face. I quickly wipe them away. This is no time for tears, happy or not.

I exhale a breath and smile.

And for the first time, I look around the room to see exactly where I'm staying.

The walls are white and the floors are a dark-brown wood. There's a dresser against the wall to my right - made out of the same wood as the floor - and a silver mirror against the wall in front of the bed. The bed. The bed is a four-poster bed - again, made from the same dark wood - and it's sheets are a dark navy blue cotton and on either side of it are bedside tables. The tables are what interest me the most. Well, the table next to me. It has a sketchbook on it. A sketchbook . . . Kieran likes to draw, to paint, it must be his.

I reach for it but pull my hand back. I can't look at that. It's his. It's his and I can't look at it without his permission.

But it is very tempting.

That's how he finds me when he comes back, staring at his sketchbook.

He points to it as he places a brown paper bag in front of me. "You can look at it. I don't care."

I reach for it and open it. The first few seem to be landscapes - Night Court landscapes I'm guessing - after those are a few of some people. He adds names to the faces as I skim through them. Then I land on one that looks familiar.

"Is that . . . me?"

It looks like a view of my back, running into the woods.

He nods. "That is the first one, I drew it after my first dream of you."

I catch his gaze and see him looking at it then me with wistful eyes. I cup his cheek in my face and lean over, wincing in the process, and kiss him. "Sorry I was always running from you."

He shrugs and smiles. "You're here now, sunshine." He points to the bag of food he brought me. "You better eat that; I brought blueberry muffins."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah . . .


	10. Part 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nsfw, my first time writing smut so don't judge

Kieran

Pampering Lena is just as much fun as I figured it would be. For the rest of the day, I lie next to her and tell her stories about my childhood or about my friends and family and she tells me the happy stories that she has. She tells me about being friends with a stable boy before he disappeared. She tells me about Lynette, her maid, and how she was her mother's best friend so she's stayed with Lena to watch over her as best she could.

And when it's time to go to sleep, Lena curls up against me and lays one of her hands flat against my chest while the other curls around my arm - well, as around my arm as it can get; her hands are so small - and I hold her close against me, whispering sweet little nothings into her ear until her breathing becomes soft and steady and her eyes flutter close. I kiss her hair and rub her back gently, drawing slow imaginary circles on another shirt I let her borrow.

I quickly fall asleep with my face pressed against her hair, breathing in her sweet scent of roses and vanilla, and when I open my eyes again it's light out; Lena's still asleep.

Her hair is wild with her mess of untamed curls and her skin seems to be retaking it's golden hue. I want to look at her wounds to see how they're healing, if they've healed, but I don't want to wake her or move her; she's somehow managed to roll onto me and sleep on my chest instead of against my side and I don't want to make her move. She seems to perfectly fit against me in every way.

I move my hands from where they're lying on her back. I settle one on her hip and rub slow circles against it while the other rests against her cheek, stroking it softly. Her eyes start to flutter before they open revealing those beautiful emerald irises; she leans her face into my hand before turning so her lips press against it, giving my palm a sweet kiss.

I press a kiss to her forehead. "Good morning, sunshine."

She smiles. "Good morning, bat."

I chuckle and kiss her forehead again. "You sound like my mother."

She shrugs. "Your mother is my idol so . . . " She trails off.

Suddenly she rolls off me and stands from the edge of the bed. "I'm going to make breakfast." She walks to the door and I have to hold back a sigh as I see her hips swaying underneath the fabric of my tunic. She turns back to me at the last second. "There is a kitchen in here, right? You've only been bringing take-out from who knows where."

I nod and follow her. We walk through the hall and into the living room then through the arch that opens into the kitchen. "Should you be up and cooking with your wound?"

She lifts up her shirt, giving me a full view of her hips and the space in between which I immediately turn my eyes from and instead look at her gashes that are now no more than scars. "I think it's fine."

It's fine to cook, but should she? Does she know the significance behind making food for me? "Do you know what it means?" At her confused look I add, "To make me food."

"Oh." A blush heats and pinkens her cheeks and she smiles. Oh, Cauldron, that smile. "Yeah, I know what it means." Her smile drops and she starts rambling, "I mean, if you don't want me to then I won't - "

I cut her off with a kiss, backing her up against the counter and holding her there with one hand on her cheek and the other on her waist - my fingers curl in the fabric of her shirt, my shirt, and twist it - I let my tongue explore her mouth before nipping her bottom lip and taking my mouth away from hers. I look into her green eyes and whisper, "I would love for you to cook for me."

Her lips curve into a bright, wide smile. "Good."

That single word has my heart stuttering, it doesn't help that her smile is so radiant it could blind a person.

Lena

Breakfast doesn't turn out as great as I planned. I burned the eggs and the bacon. The toast is somehow just toasty so it's the only thing that is actually right. I cringe as I eat the it. Of course, the tradition that means that I accept the mate bond and I screw it up. To be fair though, I was kind of distracted as I cooked; Kieran was watching me with eyes that were hungry for me rather than food and every time I saw that look, I couldn't help but imagine what it could lead to. I look across the table and see that Kieran doesn't seem to mind; he's gobbling it up and swallowing before he can even chew it.

He looks up like he knows I'm watching him and points to the food, "It's not as bad as it looks." He shoves another fork full in his mouth. "It's better than my mother's cooking that's for sure." He shudders as if thinking of a bad memory.

I shrug and find myself explaining a partial truth of why I messed up, "I'm out of practice. I haven't been allowed to spend time in the kitchens with the cooks since . . . well, it's been awhile."

I remember what happened when my father found out about my cooking lessons. He didn't want me spending so much time with the servants and didn't think I need to learn how to do such a common thing. So when he found me frying something over the stove he grabbed the frying pan out of my hands and the grease "accidentally" splashed me, burning my arm, I still have a slight scar that's normally always covered by some kind of concealer. I notice that it's not covered now - it's a red patch on my left arm and it's ugly and gross - and I try to cover it with my other hand.

But Kieran sees it and frowns, grabbing my arm and pulling it closer to him, "I'm sorry, my blood doesn't heal scars." I wish it did. The scars all over my body are ugly and they give me horrible memories -

He leans down and kisses the ugly red scar. They're not ugly; they're a reminder that you survived, that you survived to be here with me. The memories though, I'll spend every day of our immortal lives helping you get rid of those. His voice in my mind never seems to stop sending shivers down my spine.

I nod but don't look at him. Instead, I look at his arm. The tattoo. A type of scar that you get to choose. The type of scar you get to bare by choice. An idea forms in my head and as I meet his gaze I know he knows what I'm about to ask but I voice my question anyways.

"Will you do something for me?"

His eyes are clear and bright - determined - as he says, "Anything."

"Can we make a bargain?"

A smirk appears on his face. "Always, sunshine."

I smile as I think of the silliest thing to bargain ever just because I want to and because I can. "Anytime I give you a flower you have to kiss me and same goes for if you give me a flower - I have to kiss you." I giggle as I say it.

He holds back his laughter as he says, "All right, sunshine, deal. Where would you like your tattoo?"

This I didn't think about. I don't want it on my hands or arms - I don't want it to look like I'm copying Feyre - and I don't want it on my legs or feet. Definitely not my stomach.

"How about down my spine?" I think Feyre has one there too but I think it will look nice so oh well.

Something flickers in his eyes - something dark and sensual. "Okay. Deal."

He grabs my hand and I wince slightly as I feel a slight burn travel up and down the center of my back.

He lets go of my hand. "There's a mirror in my room if you would like to see - "

He doesn't have to finish before I'm up and walking out. As I head to his room, I notice all the little paint-covered surfaces in the cabin but that doesn't stop me from continuing to his bedroom where I find the mirror and immediately throw my tunic off. I look over my shoulder into the mirror and I see it.

And it's beautiful.

A line of shimmery black ink down my spine is made of swirls and stars and crescent moons and . . . flowers. Jasmine flowers. Not the roses that grow in the garden back home or any other flower that grows in Spring but jasmines. The one scent that clung to the wind every night. The scent that clings to him.

I look at the door and see Kieran standing there and gazing at me in wonder. I whisper, "Thank you." but he doesn't seem to notice; his eyes are drinking me in like I'm fine wine and he hasn't had a drink in years.

"Sunshine . . . " I fight against my modesty, against covering myself, and walk to him - my tunic, his tunic, laying forgotten on the ground - I look up at him and our eyes meet and when I think he's about to sweep me up and make the mate bond sing he says, "Does this mean that I can't kiss you without giving you a flower first?"

A smirk spreads across his face as I punch his chest. "Bastard." I say though I can't stop the giggles from escaping my mouth.

He sighs and wraps his arms around my waist, his hands spreading wide on my back, and says, "I love that giggle."

I take a deep breath, preparing myself for rejection on instinct even though I know he would never reject me, and whisper, "And I love you." He inhales sharply, but before I can say anything else his lips are moving against mine and he's picking me up, wrapping my legs around his hips, and carrying me backwards towards his bed.

He gently places me on the silken sheets and kisses me and kisses me. His tongue caressing and teasing mine while his hands wonder up my sides then back down. His thumb brushes my breast and he pulls back, looking down at me with a question in his eyes. A question that I answer with a nod and a kiss.

His hands slide up from my waist, caressing my skin, his calloused hands scrape against my scars and my soft skin, causing me to groan which only make his hands rise higher as his mouth sinks lower.

His tongue and teeth and lips fall away from my mouth and move across my jaw, down the length of my neck - biting the sensitive, soft spot between my neck and shoulder - and across my collar bone as his hands finally find my breasts. He grasps one in his hand - his other hand just strokes up and down my sides - and he squeezes. I gasp and grab his shoulders, my nails piercing into his skin, to steady myself.

His voice is husky as he says, "These are perfect."

I can feel myself blushing from my head to my toes but I don't have time to think about being embarrassed because his mouth drops away from my collarbone and it finds my untouched breast.

And. I. Can't. Think. Straight. All I can think about is his mouth on my breast. His lips sucking and his tongue . . . Oh, his tongue licking and swirling. I whine as my hips buck into his. He groans as our hips make contact and my eyes goes wide as I feel him. Well, at least I know that he's not as cool and collected as he seems.

His mouth and hand switch breasts and I look up because I can't look down at him while he's worshiping my breast, while his other hand moves lower - from the side of my breast, to my waist, to my hips, and back to the curve of back and down . . . down to cup my rear, "This is perfect too." he mutters and his hand comes back around to the front, drawing patterns on my stomach and skimming my panties but never going lower. I look up and I see his wings.

His wings. I wonder . . . I reach a hand up while entwining the other in his silky smooth hair and run a finger, nail scraping, down the surprisingly soft leather of his wings and he snarls - not angry, but aroused - as he shudders against my body at the feel of my fingers, my nails, gliding across his wing.

He grabs my hand in one of his, plants a swift kiss on it, and holds it over my head as his other hand dips lower, over my panties, and pushes down on the bundle of nerves there, making me moan, before he moves it back up and goes back to drawing circles on my stomach. And now I ache even more from the sudden touch that left too quickly. "Please." I whine.

He chuckles and shakes his head. "I'm taking my time with you and you . . . Well, let's just say that touching the wings is not allowed right now. I want this to last and you doing that will make this go by too quickly. So hands off or . . . " He moves his hand back down, letting me moan, before he brings it back up. I get it; hands off or he'll tease me longer.

When he frees my hand, I put it with the other one, twisting and pulling his hair. I try to rise up as much as I can and manage to bite the tip of his pointed ear; he doesn't get to have all the fun here. He groans before he grunts in approval, nipping my breast, before moving his mouth over and kissing the valley between my breasts, "This is perfect, as well," He whispers and moves down kissing and biting and licking. 

He kisses scars and bruises, muttering, "this," and "and this too," to each one before his mouth makes it to the plain between my hips and he kisses his way across it and I moan and whine and groan, pressing my hips up to greet his soft lips.

He looks up at me, his chin resting right on my . . . ah. "Let's get you fully undressed." He nudges my legs apart - as far as he can to accommodate his large, muscular body - and sits on his knees between them.

He hooks his fingers through my panties and pulls them down, down, down, off. Throwing them in the corner with the tunic, he never takes his eyes off my form - letting them wander down and down and back up again. There's a ravenous hunger in his eyes that makes me quiver with want, with need. He looks at me, seeing my scars and everything, and just the look in his eyes make me think that he actually believes that all of me is gorgeous, but the look on his face - not just his eyes - makes me think that he believes I'm a goddess because wonder and awe is written across every feature.

He leans down and kisses me, filled with passion and love and want. He trails kisses down my body again but this time he doesn't stop to work on my breast he just continues and as he makes his way down he talks to me in his sexy, husky voice, "You are . . . I don't have the words. Stunning - no, perfect - seems to be the closest I can think of, but . . . even that is an understatement, sunshine." I have never loved that nickname more.

His lips trail down . . . and meet my center right as the last word leaves his mouth. And Cauldron . . . I can't take it as his lips move further down and his tongue comes out. Swirling and licking and stroking. I clench my fingers in his hair as his tongue makes slow, gentle strokes. He holds me down with one arm thrown across my hips and the other clutching my thigh. I feel myself quivering and clenching but I don't even notice because I'm flying high above. He looks up at me with a smirk for just a second, he winks, and then he nips me right where his tongue was and I release, feeling like I let go of just about everything, and it feels amazing. I pant and moan his name and he just kisses my center and my thighs as I work through it.

He slides back up my body and kisses me. "How was that?"

"Good," I move my hand out of his hair and stroke his wing and he shivers above me, his pupils dilating until their inky blackness is nearly overtaking his violet irises, "can I do this now?"

He bends down and nips my earlobe, tugging on it, and releases it. "I suppose, but not too much. I still want to make this last." He whispers that into my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

And his hands trail back down, sending licks of fire up my body and making me arch into him. He kisses my collarbone as his fingers graze the bundle of nerves between my legs and I'm panting in anticipation until his hands continue lower, smoothing down my thighs. I wiggle my hips and try to raise them to connect with his, but he's on his knees too far above me.

He smirks down at me and kisses my shoulder and when I'm least expecting it one of his fingers slides inside me. I gasp and my hips buck, trying to get it deeper. He moves his finger in and out and crooking it around and I can't stop myself from moaning as he slides another finger in.

He moves them around, in and out, deeper and I buck my hips up meeting his hand. His hand is not what I want. I reach up and scrape my nails down his wing, making him moan and shudder, and when he looks back at me his eyes are dark with wanting and a warning; he can't take much more before another part of his body replaces his fingers.

So I move my hand away from his wings and I run it down his chest the other one joins it. Gliding down, nails scraping across his abdomen, and stopping at the waistband of his pants. I stroke my finger across the skin above it before my hand glides down over the bulge in his pants and before I can do anything else he's grabbing my hands and placing one around his neck and the other near my head then he's unbuttoning his pants and pulling them down and then I see it and by the Cauldron . . .

I bite my lip and look him in the eyes. His eyes are asking a silent question though his voice rings in my head, Are you sure?

I roll my eyes and hope that my answer gets back to him, If I wasn't we would've stopped with your tongue.

He settles himself between my thighs and looks at me again, still making sure that I want this, and I nod. He's gentle and slow when he enters me, I wince slightly to adjust to the feeling and he notices, "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

I shake my head. "Move."

And he does. Slow and rhythmic. He takes his time, making sure I'm not overwhelmed, but now that I've adjusted . . . I want more. I move my hips up, making his thrust deeper than it was intended to be, and we both moan. I put my arms around his neck and twist my fingers in his hair and he pushes into me again and it isn't as gentle or as slow as before; he seems to have figured out that I can handle it a little faster, a little deeper.

So he does go faster and deep enough that I'm moaning his name and I feel myself rising like before and when he bends down and kisses me and whispers, "I love you too, Lena." against my lips I can't stop myself from plummeting off the edge and he follows.

This is only the beginning. We have a long day ahead of us.


	11. Part 11

Kieran

I thought she was beautiful when she was asleep, but it's not even close to how gorgeous she is after sex. Her hair all messed up in a riot of wild, golden curls with a sated smile on her lips and dazed but darkened eyes . . . 

"What are you doing?" I ask as her fingers trace the slope of my nose.

"What happened here?"

Her green eyes widen slightly like they always do when she's curious so I sigh and tug her closer. "I got in a fight with another male at an Illyrian camp over a girl," I feel her stiffen so I lean down and whisper in her ear, "Don't worry, she was nowhere near as amazing as you." I continue my story, "Anyways, it was a few years ago and the guy took me down pretty fast. I broke my nose; my dad said it would teach me a lesson about starting fights I couldn't win. He set it but didn't let a healer touch it."

"That's tough."

I shake my head. "Nah, I got lucky. If Uncle Cass or Az had been there . . . " I whistle. They would've beat my skinny little ass. I would've deserved it; that guy was way too big for fifteen year old me to fight and I knew it.

She looks up at me for a second, "Hmm." and leans down and kisses my chest.

I roll us around so she's under me and I have her caged in, lowering myself over her, I caress her cheek with my nose. "Why so curious? Don't you like my crooked nose, sunshine?"

"Mmm, it's very manly."

I chuckle. "Is it?"

She nods slightly while giggling as my "very manly" nose tickles her cheek.

I sit up, straddling her, and just stare at her for a second before I say, "Sunshine, I think I'm going to paint you."

She squeaks and tries to scramble away but I lock my thighs around her hips, she's not getting away. "No, no. You can't paint me! Especially not like this."

I lean down and kiss her. "Why ever not, sunshine?"

Her eyes widen and her mouth opens and closes before she finally says, "Because I'm naked!"

I shake my head. "So?"

Her eyes widen impossibly more. "I don't want people to see me naked."

I look down at her seriously for a second then I start laughing. She frowns and hits my chest lightly. "What are you laughing at, bat-brain?"

I lean down and kiss her forehead, her cheeks, the tip of her nose, and her lips. "Sunshine, you are adorable." She frowns as if she doesn't get why she's adorable. "Do you actually think I would let other people see paintings of my gorgeous nude mate?"

She grumbles, "Well, when you put it like that . . . Fine. But I'm at least putting something on. I don't care if it's just lingerie or not."

I shake my head. "Um, sunshine, the only thing you're going to find here is my mother or aunts' lingerie," I grimace. "or actual clothes."

She bites her lip then looks to the corner of the room where my tunic and her panties are still laying. "Have anymore shirts?"

I chuckle, "I think I can arrange that."

Lena

How did I get talked into this? Oh yeah, my mate just happens to be perfection and he just had to turn his pleading eyes on me. So now I'm sitting on his bed in just his shirts while he paints me.

It's kind of boring. Just sitting here. "Have you painted many . . . other females before?"

A soft smile stretches across his face. "No, just you, sunshine."

But that's not really what I want to know. "How many other females have you been with?" It comes out in a horrible rush and this time I know the answer isn't going to be just me.

His eyes meet mine and they're kind of sad like he wishes the answer was different. "A few."

I pick at the comforter beneath me. "A few as in . . . "

He shakes his head. "You have to understand that the teenage and early adult years of an Illyrian is when they have urges to do a lot of two things: fucking and fighting. I did a lot of both, not as much as others. Thankfully, my blood is mixed a lot and I don't have as much of a compulsion to do that as much any more. I mean, I still want to; I just don't get in a frenzy to or anything." Upon seeing my confused expression he sighs and says, "It's hard to explain."

"Oh." He did a lot of both. A lot of sex. A few females. And . . . was it better with them than me? I mean it was my first time . . . It probably wasn't as good as -

His eyes meet mine again and this time they're soft and sweet. "I will say though, you're better than any of them, Lena, so don't be jealous." I smile at that. Better than any of them. Ha. "And do I have anybody I need to be jealous of?"

I frown and shake my head. "I've only kissed one guy other than you and it wasn't by my choice and it wasn't good at all."

His gaze leaves the painting and I see a storm brewing in those starry eyes. "Was it Roric?"

I nod. "We were at some party and I was fifteen. He was drunk and one of his annoying buddies dared him to kiss me. He did and I was so shocked that I didn't even know what was happening until it was over," Cauldron, I was so surprised I froze, "then I was so disgusted and angry for my first kiss being by a drunken idiot on a dare and that my mouth tasted like alcohol afterwards."

A muscle in his jaw moves then he shakes his head. "Forget about it. Forget it ever happened. Just remember our first kiss as your first kiss. Hopefully it was a little better than a drunken dare."

I hold back a smile and purse my lips, pretending to debate over it. "Just a little." I say with a smirk on my face.

A cocky grin appears on his face. "A little? Do I need to come over there and fix that?"

I giggle. "No, finish your painting, bat-brain."

He chuckles. "All right, sunshine."

"Why do you call me sunshine?"

He pauses and crease forms between his eyes, "Uh, at first, it was because you were golden and stunning like the sun. Now . . . " he pauses, searching for the right words, "Now, it's because you . . . You're like the sun and I'm the moon and I'll only shine because of you."

I smile and whisper, "I think you have that backwards; I've only ever shone around you." He doesn't look me in the eyes but I watch as his lips quirk up in a quick, small smile.

We sit in silence for a bit until I start to hum.

"Will you sing for me?" He looks at me with a hopeful face and bright eyes and I can't bear to say no. If I can't sing for my mate then who can I sing for? So I take a steadying breath and sing.

I don't want to talk right now  
I just want your arms wrapped around  
Me in this moment  
Before it runs out

Oh, don't say that it's over  
Oh, no say it ain't so  
Let's let the stars watch  
Let them stare  
Let the wind eavesdrop  
I don't care  
For all that we've got, don't let go  
Just hold me

I'm not even sure he's painting anymore. I look up and find Kieran just staring at me with a slack-jaw and something like wonder in his eyes. It gives me confidence to continue.

I can't pull you closer than this  
It's just you and the moon on my skin -

I'm cut off by his mouth on mine and him pushing me back into the bed. His lips are fervent against mine until they're not against mine but slowing making their way across my jaw and down my neck. "What - " I gasp as he nips some very sensitive skin. "What about your painting?"

His lips don't leave my skin as he mumbles "Fuck the painting."

"Mmm," I bite the tip of his ear, pulling it with my teeth, "I think I'd rather fuck you."

He freezes and then he starts laughing and laying kisses all down my neck. "You feisty little thing."

I bite his ear again and this time he shudders. "Ah, sunshine, we're going to have a long night."

\-----

I wake up and my first thought is: someone's knocking on the door. My next thought is: who is knocking on the door of a cabin in the middle of the mountains?

I roll over and tap Kieran's shoulder. Nothing, not even a twitch. I stroke his cheek. Nope. I sigh. "Kieran, get your lazy, bat-brain awake right now." That does it.

His eyes flutter and when he looks somewhat alert he smiles at me. "Morning, sunshine." He nuzzles closer and I can feel him falling asleep again.

"Kieran, wake up."

He cuddles up closer and rest his head on my chest. "You're a good pillow." I'm about to just tell him we have a visitor and see if that wakes him when the knocking starts again and all thoughts of my pillowy chest seem to leave his head.

He sits up straight and then stands up, grabbing a pair of pants and pulling them on, before he's walking to the door and out of the room.

I'm not waiting around.

I grab his shirt from our painting session and hurry out of the room. I hear him talking to someone as I approach.

"No, you cannot see her."

A deep male voice whines, "Why not?"

I freeze and stay right where I am to see how this conversation is going to play out.

"Because we're busy."

That same voice says, "Oo, busy doing what?"

Kieran's voice is dripping sarcasm as he says, "I'm half-naked; what the hell do you think we were doing, Uncle? The macarena?"

A quieter, steadier, male voice says, "That's a definite possibility." The sarcasm is strong with these Fae.

Kieran groans. "Would the both of you go? We'll be fine. We'll come home in a bit."

I want to meet these uncles. I finally round the corner and holy shit. Those guys are huge just like Kieran and Rhysand. What the hell do they feed males in Night Court?

Their eyes immediately find me and they both smile; well, one smiles kindly while the other smirks.

Kieran doesn't even turn around. "Lena, please just run back to the room otherwise they'll want to stay and talk to you and - " 

The one with longer hair cuts Keiran off by running past him and grabbing me into a big hug, lifting me off my feet, "She's so tiny, nephew. Like a little doll."

Kieran snarls. Oh males and their stupid territorial shit. "Uncle Cassian, please put her down."

My feet are suddenly back on the ground and I'm not being crushed. "Come look at her, Az. She doesn't look like Tammy at all. Way too pretty." Another snarl out of Kieran.

The one he called Az comes over and looks me up and down. "Nice to meet you. I'm Azriel."

Cass snorts. "You're too polite sometimes."

Kieran stalks over from the door and grabs my waist. "If you two insist on staying for a chat then we need to dress."

Cass opens his mouth to say something and Azriel covers it with his hand as if he already knows that what Cass is about to say is not a good idea.

Kieran pulls me back to his room and stalks to his closet, pulling on a shirt, and walking out of the room then coming back and gently pushing some clothes in my hands. "These are my Aunt Elain's, you look like you're about her size."

I nod. "Thanks."

I unfold the clothes and frown at the dress. "Does she have any pants or anything?"

He frowns and shakes his head. "I'm sure my mother does but they're probably too long for you."

"I'll roll them up."

He stares at me for a second before slightly waving his hand and a pair of black cotton pants with a plain white sweater appear. "Why didn't you just zap the dress in here like you did these?" I ask as I pull on both articles of clothing and smile at the comforting feel of the clothes against my skin.

"Because I wanted to keep you in here for as long as possible but I decided that my uncles probably won't wait forever before they bust in here, at least Cass won't."

As I bend over to roll up the pant-legs, Kieran asks, "So you don't wear dresses unless you have to?"

I nod. "Cauldron, I hate dresses. They're so uncomfortable. At least the Spring Court style dresses are. You have to wear tight corsets that you can barely breath in. I've never been able to wear other Court fashions so I don't know if I'll like dresses from here - " I stop and blush when I realize I'm rambling.

Kieran smiles. "Well, you can buy whatever clothes you want when we go to Velaris. I don't really care what you wear; you could wear my shirts all the time for all I care. But try to stick to just lingerie for when we're alone, okay?"

I smile salaciously, "If we're alone why would I be wearing lingerie - or anything - at all?"

He fails to hold back a chuckle before he says, "Well, here I was thinking you were an innocent little flower when you're actually an insatiably lecherous vixen."

I shrug and smile innocently. He leans in to kiss me when a knock sounds on the door and his more . . . carefree uncle yells, "Tell me you guys aren't beating the log in there."

Kieran grits his teeth. "Uncle Cassian, we were getting dressed. We're coming out now."

I grab his hand and lace our fingers together as we walk to the living room and sit down on the couch while his uncles sit in chairs across from us. Cassian smirks at us while Az smiles slightly.

Cassian says, "I'm telling Nesta all about this. She'll be so sad that her favorite nephew finally has a mate." Sad? He addresses me, "Let me clarify, she'll be jealous that he won't spend as much time with her. She loves when they hang out in the library and read together. She's the one who taught him how to read."

"Oh."

"Well, Elain will be thrilled." Az says, almost to himself, "She's been waiting for Kieran to find the right girl. She's been waiting for him to come to her to ask for flowers for a special girl; it hasn't happened yet but she's patient."

Kieran and I blush at the mention of flowers as our bargain comes to mind. "Well, I look forward to receiving some flowers."

Cassian chuckles. "Who doesn't? I look forward to receiving flowers."

Kieran laughs slightly. "You'll be lucky if your wife even makes you pancakes anymore; she's certainly not buying you flowers."

Cassian stops his chuckling abruptly and says, "Listen here you little shit, she hasn't made me pancakes since the morning you left and they used to be my normal breakfast food."

Kieran shrugs, looking innocent. "Who's fault is that?"

Cass crosses his arms and pouts like a child. "Well, it's certainly not mine."

This has me giggling. "I'm sorry, sunshine; my family is crazy."

I kiss his cheek. "Your family is amazing."

He rolls his eyes but drapes an arm across me shoulders, pulling me closer to him. Az's eyes follow the movement and he smiles slightly. Cassian notices the smile and shakes his head. "You're such a softy."

A devilish grin falls into place on Az's face as he says, "Oh please, don't act like you didn't have tears in your eyes when Feyre and Rhys told us about Kieran finding her."

Kieran starts laughing. "Aw, I didn't know you cared that much Uncle Cass."

Cass crosses his arms and mutters, "I don't." He looks around and - as an afterthought - he adds, "That didn't even happen."

Az mouths, Yes, it did.

Cassian sits up straight, alarm marking his features, "We gotta go. Nesta's wondering where we are."

He quickly comes over and pulls both of us up and into a huge hug. "Stay safe, stay alive. Don't make me come back here. You both better be in Velaris by the end of the week." Then he's running out the door and into the wind.

Az chuckles. "He's scared of his wife."

Kieran smirks. "Everybody is scared of Aunt Nesta."

Az shrugs. "True enough."

He hugs us both and leaves.

"Your uncles are . . . "

"Crazy, annoying, slightly stupid?"

"Funny."

He rolls his eyes and fakes a scoff. "Great. I can just see it: my mate is going to be Uncle Cassian's new partner in crime."

I shrug and kiss his cheek. "That doesn't sound so bad."

His smile becomes soft instead of amused as he says, "No, it doesn't."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song isn't mine, just so you guys don't think that I'm stealing lyrics or anything.


	12. Part 12

Lena

"What do you want to do, sunshine?" Kieran asks after he finishes poking the fire - though he told me it was self-sustaining so I don't know why he was messing with it.

I shrug and look out the window and it hits me. We're in the mountains. There's snow. There's a lot of snow. "Can we go play in the snow?"

Kieran turns to me with wide eyes and a bemused smile. "Explain?"

I blush furiously and say, "We never got snow like this in Spring. We got flurries on our coldest days but that's it. I've never actually played in the snow before and it's always sounded like so much fun and - " He cuts me off by scooping me up and throwing me over his shoulder. "What are you doing?"

"Taking you to my Aunt Elain's closet to look for some winter gear."

He kicks open a door and sits me on the bed before he starts rummaging through the closet. "Here we go, I found the winter jackpot." He pulls out a hat, a pair of gloves, a coat, a pair of thick socks, and boots. "Come here."

I go to him and he immediately starts dressing me in all the items. He slides the coat over my arms gently and buttons each of the buttons slowly before he pulls the gloves over me hands, giving each a kiss before they're covered by the brown fur and leather of the gloves. I sit back down on the bed and he pulls the thick socks on and then pulls the boots on over them. He kisses my forehead as he covers my hair with the hat.

"Dressed and ready for the cold." He announces as he stands up and pulls me up next to him.

"What about you?" He's still dressed in a thin cotton shirt and light pants. No shoes, no socks. Not even a hat.

He snaps his fingers and he suddenly wearing all the same types of winter gear as me. "Better?"

I nod and he grabs my hand to twine his fingers with mine and walk me to the front door. When we leave the cabin I realize exactly why Spring has never had snow like this before. Because it has never been this cold. A blast of icy air hits me as we step into the snow and it's exhilarating.

"What do you wanna do, sunshine? We can build a snowman, have a snowball war, make snow angels, or just sit out here and stare. I'm good for anything."

I barely register the question as I stare at the landscape around me. Glistening snow covers every speck of land and even lines the pine trees that dot the mountain. Fat flakes of snow are still coming down and when I finally look over at Kieran I see that a lot of those flakes are now resting in his blue-black hair making him look utterly adorable and I start giggling.

His eyes widen. "What?"

"You look adorable with snow in your hair."

His mouth twists into a wry smile. "Says you, have you seen yourself with snow in your hair? It's sticking to all of your curls."

I blush furiously and start pawing at my hair but he grabs my hand away and kisses it. "Don't, you look beautiful."

A smile brightens my face and look around again. "I think I would like to try making a snow angel."

He smiles lightly. "Okay, you do that. I'll join you in a bit."

Kieran

She keeps making snow angels again and again, not entirely sure she's making them right but she doesn't disturb me to ask if they're correct or not. That's good because I'm trying to finish my snowwoman before she sees it.

I have the main body now it's just about putting things like coal for her eyes in the right place or the floppy part of a mop on her head for her hair. I finish the face quickly and wrap a scarf around the snowwoman's neck then I find two sticks nearby and stick them in the middle ball of her body to make her arms. 

I stand back and admire my work. "Good."

I make my way back through the trees to where I left her. "Hey, sunshine, done making angels?"

She nods and starts walking over to me while holding something behind her back. I'm about to ask her what she has when I get a blast of snow and ice in my face and I hear Lena giggling.

"You're going to pay for that, sunshine."

I bend down and start making snowballs and call my magic forward, forcing my darkness to start making snowballs for my arsenal. Wisps of darkness race out of me and into the snow, scooping up handfuls of it and making it into balls.

"That's not fair! You're cheating." Lena pouts with her arms crossed over her chest.

I throw a snowball at her which hits her on her chest. "Suck it up, buttercup."

She stomps a foot sassily, but a vicious smile stretches her lips as she starts making snowballs and somehow snowballs are being made out of thin air right next to her. "How are you doing that?"

She shrugs. "You can manipulate the darkness, I'm manipulating the air around me."

I smirk as I finish making my snowballs and start throwing them. She throws up a shield of air and the snowballs hit it instead of her. I put all my concentration into breaking that shield that I don't even notice when a volley of snowballs start racing towards me. A few hit before I start using tendrils of my darkness to catch the snowballs and throw them back to her, though they hit the shield too.

I finally snarl and start running towards her; she allows me to break through her shield and I crash into her, knocking her back towards the snow but I roll us around so she lands on top of me and I don't end up crushing her.

She's shaking against my chest and for a second I wonder if I scared her when I realize she's laughing, she's laughing so hard that no sound is coming out, and I can't help but laugh too except my laughter is an all-out roaring that shakes the mountain.

After her laughter calms down, she sits up, straddling me, and leans down, pressing her lips against mine softly before pulling away slightly. I'm having none of that. I wrap my arms around her waist and drag her down so her breasts are flush against my chest and the warmth of her breath is on my cheeks.

I run a hand up her back; my fingers gliding straight up her spine, making her shudder, and cup the back of her neck so I can pull her face down to mine and kiss her. Her hands leave my chest - where they had been bracing themselves - and glide over to my arms, stroking up and down, before they go up and one stretches around my neck, fingers twining themselves through my hair, while the other strokes down the membrane of one of my wings and I shiver at the intensity of the ache her fingers create.

She pulls back for a second and looks down at me with a slightly dazed look and that's almost enough to make me pull her back down and create a bubble of warmth around us so we can continue this without getting frostbite on our asses. Almost. "I made something. I want to show you."

She slides off me and I stand up, offering my hand and pulling her up when she takes it. I march us across our battlefield and through the trees and back to the small clearing - smaller than my room - where I built the snowwoman.

She gasps as she looks at it. "You made a snowwoman?"

I nod. "While you were making snow angels."

She stares a bit longer at it before smirking. "Well, I think you missed something."

I raise a brow and study my work again. "And that is?"

Lena smiles excitedly. "You didn't make her a mate."

I hold back my chuckle and says, "We should remedy that, shouldn't we?"

She nods and looks to me for instructions. "Well, let's start rolling the body parts."

It takes less than thirty minutes to build the snowman and when we finish Lena smiles and takes the hat off my head and lays it on the snowman's head. "I think it's okay to go inside now." She says as she shivers.

I pick her up - making a squeal of surprise burst out of her mouth - and carry her back to the house and immediately go straight to the fireplace, laying her down on the rug in front of it. "I'm going to make us some hot chocolate with marshmallows."

She grins widely as she pulls her gloves off and starts warming her hands with the fire. I watch her as I walk backwards towards the kitchen with a dazed smile on my face. The glow of the fire makes shadows play across her face and her golden hair takes on a strawberry blonde hue every time she twists or turns and the locks sway in front of the fire. I'm going to paint that. One day, I'm going to paint that.

Lena

I warm my hands with the fire and wonder how Kieran is dealing with the cold so well; he was out there as long as me and his hands were in more snow than me. Less than ten minutes after he entered the kitchen he comes back out without his winter gear and with two mugs that have steam floating from them. He sits down next to me and carefully hands one to me.

I look into the mug and see a creamy, light brown liquid with little white puffy marshmallows floating around in it. "I've never had hot chocolate before." I confess.

He gasps and fakes being astonished by this news by placing a hand over his heart dramatically and opening his mouth into a wide 'O' shape. He whispers with a scandalized tone, "Sunshine, you mean to tell me that you've never had this most wonderfully sweet and hot drink?"

I shake my head. "If it ever gets a little cold at Spring we have tea."

His eyes are sad, but he smiles widely and clinks our mugs together, careful not to spill any of the steaming liquid, as he says, "Well, then it is my pleasure to share this first with you."

He takes a sip and sighs, a look of utter content occupying his face. I follow his example and take a slow, soft sip and nearly gasp as the flavor hits me. I've had chocolate before but it was never this sweet, this soft, this creamy, this rich. Cauldron, it's so good. The warm liquid slides down my throat and shoots down my body and I can feel it warming my cold bones. I sigh and close my eyes as the feeling spreads through me.

When I open my eyes I find Kieran looking at me with a soft, fond smile on his face. "Good, sunshine?"

I nod excitedly and take another sip. "Really, really good."

He leans forward and kisses my cheek. "Good."

My icy hands thaw as they wrap around the mug rather than hold it's little handle. "How are you not freezing?"

He grabs my hands, gently taking the mug and sitting it on the floor, and clasps his hands around mine. They start glowing and my hands turn warm, then hot. "Fire manipulation. A . . . gift from my mother."

My brows raise of their own accord. "What else did you get from her?"

He shrugs and picks up his mug again, taking a long sip before he answers, "Healing powers, air manipulation, water manipulation, daemati abilities - though I got those from both my parents, glamouring - again both my parents, and shapeshifting though I'm not so good at that ability so I don't really use it."

My mouth is hanging open by the time he finishes his list and I can't help but wonder . . . "What about from your dad?"

"Other than what I already listed, I got the powers expected of the Night Court heir: darkness manipulation and misting. Also winnowing, though that has more to do with my own power rather than my parents."

Suddenly my magic seems lacking, I've never used it much; only a few air shields when needed and shapeshifting to escape for a few hours and that's pretty much all I can do. I'm not even sure how much magic I have because I have no idea how to reach into my power and start using it; I've always been too scared to practice in case I burnt out and my father found out.

"Wow."

He nudge me with his elbow. "When we get to Velaris we're going to start training you and I can't wait to see you shapeshift."

I furrow my brow. Doesn't he like me as I am? "Why?" I ask cautiously.

He smiles excitedly. "Because then you can turn into a bird or make your own wings and you can learn to fly and see how it feels for yourself."

I bite my lip, I never thought about it like that but . . . "I like when we fly together." I murmur quietly.

He wraps an arm around my shoulders and chugs the rest of his hot chocolate. "I do too." He whispers into my hair before nipping my ear slightly, sending flames coursing through my body.

"If you keep that up, I won't be able to finish my hot chocolate." I warn as I take a sip out of my mug and his kisses drift lower - down an invisible path along my neck. Goosebumps raise on my skin as his lips brush against it over and over again.

He smiles against my neck and whispers in a silky soft voice, "Is that a promise?"

I shiver and throw my mug down, not caring if the liquid within spills or not, turning to face him. I give him all of three seconds to stare at me in surprise before I wrap my arms around his neck and start kissing him roughly.

I crawl over, without my mouth leaving his, and straddle him. His arms wrap around me tightly and start clawing at the fabric of my coat. I start kissing his neck and I don't even break away from it until after I feel a bubble of warmth surround and look down to see my coat is gone and ashes coat the floor around us.

"Did you burn my coat?" I ask in a husky voice.

"I technically burned my aunt's coat; I'll have to buy her a new one and come up with some excuse."

I laugh as I place more little kisses along his neck and start biting. He groans as my teeth graze the soft spot between his shoulder and his neck. My lips keep moving down until they meet the neck of his shirt. "Burn that away."

He smirks and for a second nothing happens and then flames coat his chest and shoulders, even his back, and his shirt falls off into a little pile of ash. "The fire didn't hurt me." I observe.

He strokes my cheek. "Of course not, you're my mate. I could never hurt you and neither could my magic."

That's all I need to hear before I start laying kisses across his chest. I mix it up and bite him a few times - never hard enough to draw blood. I kiss down his stomach and plant a really sweet one on his belly button that has him chuckling before his chuckles turn into strained groans as one of my hands smooths down his side, tickling the sensitive skin, and the other scratches his wing a bit. 

"Pants. Burn." I order not even bothering to say please.

He burns them away but before I can lower my mouth to his body again he twists us around so he's on top and he bites my collarbone. "I think you're a little too dressed."

"Am I?" I barely whisper as his mouth starts laying kisses along the neck of my sweater which lands just above my breasts.

"Mhm. I should fix that." He mumbles, his soft lips tickling my skin with the words.

I nod slightly. "You should."

A smirk stretches those glorious lips and both my sweater and my pants burn away leaving me bare before him. "Fixed." He murmurs as his lips find my breast and he starts sucking.

"Good." My fingers immediately go to his hair, but then I decide to let one roam so one of my hands starts traveling up and down his back and I feel a raised impression along his spine that definitely isn't the bones of a spine so I look and there it is. A tattoo. He hasn't shown me his back yet - I haven't even look at it because I've been so focused on what he does to me so - so I never even noticed a tattoo there.

But it's there. A tattoo just like the one he gave me, besides the flowers, climbing up and down his spine. "You got one too?" I whisper.

He doesn't need me to clarify he just nods as his mouth moves from one breast to the other. He lays kisses for each word. "If. You. Get. One. I. Get. One."

I let my fingers graze lovingly down his spine making him shudder above me. "So if I get a monstrous tattoo of a hot pink fox, you'll get one too?"

He chuckles and the vibrations of his body against mine send a shiver down my spine. "Only for you would I even consider it."

I smile. "Good to know."

This time when he thrusts into me it's slower than the last few times, gentler, maybe it's the erotic heat from the fire washing over us or maybe it's just what we mutually decide need, and he doesn't stop whispering sweet things like "I love you" and "You're my sunshine" or "You're perfect" to me until we're both covered in sweat and he's lying on his back on the hardwood floor and I'm stretched out over his body as we try and fall asleep.

Right before my eyes close and my breathing evens out I hear him singing in a low voice:

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine  
You make me happy when skies are gray  
You'll never know dear, how much I love you  
Please don't take my sunshine away 

And I fall asleep with that tune running through my mind; it plays through the sweet dreams I have of us walking through the streets of a city of rainbows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So obviously the song at the end of the chapter is not mine (if you don't know this song then you seriously have not lived).


	13. Part 13

Lena

I wake up in Kieran's soft bed without him next to me; the sheets next to me are still warm from his body. I throw back the sheets and pull on one of his shirts - he just leaves them lying around on his floor like he was raised in a barn - and follow the pull of the bond to where he is: outside in the back, sitting in the snow.

I sit down next to him and nudge his shoulder. "What are you doing up so early?" It is early. A look at the sky and it's pastel-like paintings of pink and orange tell me that the sun is only just starting to come up.

He shrugs. "Couldn't sleep." He opens his mouth to say something else but shakes his head instead.

"What?" He shakes his head again. "Tell me."

An exhausted sigh escapes his lips. "I think it's time to go home - to Velaris - but I don't," He exhales an agitated breath before continuing, "I don't want to go back, not yet."

He was so excited for me to see Velaris these past few days and now . . . now he doesn't want me to. "Why?"

"Because there - " He groans and starts over, "When we go back, we go back to a world of politics. We go back to a world of plotting and deception. Velaris might be free of that corruption, but Tamlin," The sound of my father's name makes me shudder. "will retaliate for me taking you away. He'll call a meeting of the High Lord's and we'll have to go. Sure, they'll take our side but that won't stop him and I just . . . I just don't want to deal with it. I just want to spend the rest of eternity in peace."

I feel tears well up because I never thought of it like that; I never thought that my father might actually retaliate against the Night Court, but he will. He will because I'm his only heir. He will because it embarrassed him - to lose a fiancee and a daughter to the same Court, not only the same Court but the same family - and he hates to be embarrassed. Plus, Roric will push for it. Without me Roric will be nothing. He'll be nothing but a pompous, High Fae ass.

"I'm sorry; I never thought about that. I don't want to bring trouble to your Court. I should go - "

He cuts me off with a growl. "You're not going anywhere, especially not back there which I know is what you're thinking. It's not your fault anyways. I took you and consequences be damned. I'd do it again without a thought."

"When should we go then? To Velaris, I mean."

He taps his fingers against his knee before saying, "In a few hours, my folks are getting impatient. I need to get back anyway; I'm missing High Lord lessons."

I raise a brow. "High Lord lessons?"

He nods. "My father's idea to prepare me for the struggle of High Lording; which I hope I never need to experience."

"Why?"

"Because if I become High Lord it means that my parents are dead and I don't look forward to that day."

Oh. Another thing I never thought about. I guess when I always thought about becoming High Lady I was either happy because then I would never have to see my father again or sad because it would probably never happen; I always thought that with my terrible luck my father would never die. "I can see why that would be a bad thing."

He nods. "Well, what do you want to do with our last few hours of privacy?" He wiggles his brows and with a wink he lewdly suggests, "Something smutty, I hope."

I snort but he's right and our next few hours are spent while having a little fun on every surface of the cabin.

Kieran

Lena just has to fly to Velaris. She doesn't want to winnow in; she wants to see the sights. She wants to see the infamous Night Court.

And see it she does. I hold her close to my chest and fly high in the sky while she watches the world tumble below her. She sees the mountains and the trees and a few tiny farms which has her squealing about their adorableness. She sees the Illyrian camps and comments about how she can't imagine me or my immaculately dressed father ever spending time in those muddy camps.

But the truly amazing thing about her seeing the Night Court's landscape is when we pass into Velaris and she freezes with wide eyes and an open mouth; awe is clearly written on every line of her face. She turns to me with those wide eyes and says one of the best things she could ever say in the softest voice she's ever used, "It's gorgeous, Kieran."

Pride fills me at the knowledge that my mate thinks that my city - the jewel and total essence of my Court - is gorgeous. I swoop down low and land in the middle of a street and a few people wave and say "Hello" but my concentration is all on Lena and how she's seeing my city for the first time, seeing my people for the first time.

She looks around at everything with those wide, wondrous eyes before turning to me with a big smile that shows all her teeth and all her happiness. It literally makes me feel like I'm standing in sunshine. "What do you think, Sunshine?"

She opens her mouth and closes it a few times before asking, "Will you take me on a tour?"

And how could I ever say no?

Lena

Kieran walks me through the quarters of the city and gives me their histories at the same time, pointing out his favorite haunts along the way, while holding my hand the whole time. I spot some other females, and a few males, looking at us enviously but they throw on quick smiles and greet us as we approach them. We approach a lot of people. Kieran seems to know everybody's name and he's always stops to talk to them and he always proudly introduces me as his mate. He also growls at the males a lot; I think the only thing that's keeping him from attacking them right there is that I'm here and it might scare me after all the times my father went beastly.

Kieran saves the best quarter for last. After he's show me the others quarters, he takes me to the artist's quarter, the Rainbow. It's aptly named because every building is an array of colors none are ever the same. Everything is colorful here even benches.

People are out painting in the streets and we round a corner to find a few musicians playing a happy little ditty on violins and guitars with a few people happily singing the lyrics. People are in the middle of the street skipping around and dancing to the beat and I can't help but giggle at the sight of people actually enjoying themselves in their Court. These people are happy. These people are so much happier than the people in Spring even though it wasn't very long ago when the Night Court was considered monstrous and dangerous.

The widest smile I can make breaks across my face and Kieran starts chuckling before bending at the waist and holding out his hand, "Would you like to dance, sunshine?"

"I would love to."

So we dance. We dance hand-in-hand, skipping and hopping around like the other citizens, while I giggle and smile my head off. And when the song ends and the musicians change to a slow sweet song - which Kieran pulls me closer and sways with me to - I realize that during that dance was probably the first time that I've ever felt so . . . alive.

Kieran

The thing about my family is: they are fucking crazy. So as I prepare for dinner - putting on actual clothes rather than a pair of pants that I just found lying around - I run my hands through my hair nervously. What if they freak Lena out? What if they scare her away? I want her to like my family but sometimes I don't even like my family; I love them but sometimes I really don't like them.

When Lena was still in the room with me she assured me countless times that nothing they do will ever scare her away, but it did nothing to dissuade this knot of nerves that seems to have gathered in my gut and now she's not even here to calm me down; Nuala and Cerridwen, my mother's maids of sorts, took her to another room to dress because they deemed it inappropriate for her to change in front of me. Whatever.

I hear Lena walk in while I'm straightening my black, silver-lined jacket so I turn around to find her wearing . . . well. I gulp as I look her up and down. I thought she was stunning in her Spring Court gowns, but when she's wearing a gown of obvious Night Court origins . . . 

She's a goddess.

Her golden curls have been swept up into a braided updo that I have no name for but I don't even care because her dress is garnering all of my attention, all of my focus. The long-sleeved, lacy gown is the color of a deep forest at night - the green so dark that it's nearly black - and it's tight on her chest, abdomen, and hips though it loosens around midway down her thighs. The neckline is a deep V that extends halfway down her chest, exposing the plain between her breasts. A thin gold, metal belt wraps around her waist and it meets in the middle of her stomach in the shape of two little leaves.

They even did her makeup. Her eyelids are a deep plum that brings out her gold-flecked, green eyes while her lips are plump and reddish burgundy. Her high cheekbones are brought out by some kind of highlighting makeup and I can see that they sprinkled her with golden sparkles as they are all over her body.

She raises an eyebrow as I look her over with wide eyes and a open mouth, she puts her hands on her hips and says, "Well, are you going to just stand there and look or are you going to say something?"

I shake my head to try and clear out the daze that's taken root inside my brain but all I can focus on is the sparkles on her chest and if they extend to below that dress. "You - you look . . . wow."

Her brow stays raised. "Just wow?"

Nuala and Cerridwen are holding back laughs at my flabbergasted expression. "Not just wow. It's just I don't really have words for this . . . for how beautiful you look. I don't know that any would be correct, sunshine." I look at the girls who put her in this wonderful dress. "The one who picked out the dress gets a bonus in their paycheck."

Nuala smiles smugly at her sister as a pink blush heats Lena's cheeks and she bites her burgundy bottom lip with her pearly white teeth before saying, "That's better."

I hold out a hand and she takes it; I quickly spin her to me so she squeals in surprise as she lands against my chest then I pick her up - noting that the arm that wraps around her back brushes against bare skin - preparing for flight. "Are you ready to meet the rest of my crazy family?" She nods with a little bit of a blush still heating her cheeks. "Then hold on tight, sunshine."

And I'm winnowing out into the cold night air before unsheathing my wings and sending us flying through the air to the House of Wind. 

"Why don't we just winnow to wherever we're going?" Lena asks, always full of curiosity.

"We can't. No one can winnow in to it. It's warded, not even my father can winnow in. We'd have to walk up a thousand stairs if we didn't fly."

"Ah." Lena looks around before saying, "Let's stick to flying then, a thousand steps seems like too much of a workout."

I chuckle and hold her tighter. "I agree."

We land on the balcony to the House and I gently, and reluctantly, put her down. As soon as she's on her feet my uncles come trotting over.

If you want to go at anytime, tell me. If they annoy you too much, tell me. I whisper into her mind.

She rolls her eyes at me and whispers something like, "Bat-brained Illyrian." before my uncle Cassian finds us and throws her into a massive hug. I growl, the urge to attack him for being so close and touching my mate is so strong, but I hold myself back. I remind myself that my uncle is a mated man and I can't lose control in front of Lena.

Cassian stands back and looks her over. "Tiny, you look better in your own clothes."

She blushes. "Thanks."

I clear my throat. "Um, hello, am I chopped liver?"

My uncles look at me and Azriel says, "It's very nice to see you, Kieran."

Cassian just huffs and mutters, "Ness still won't make me pancakes."

And that's when the whirlwind starts. All my relatives rush over and take turns introducing themselves and hugging Lena and poor Lena just stands there blushing and accepting all their hugs.

I would help but I'm too preoccupied with my brother and sister that run towards me and launch themselves onto me to hug me. "Stella, Aedon, I missed you both so much."

Aedon is the first one to leave my arms. He wipes his nose and huffs - he's obsessed with looking older and tougher than he is - and says, "Yeah, we missed you too." 

His violet eyes - like mine - wander from me to Lena and a question forms but Stella beats him to it, unwrapping my arms from her she starts bouncing up and down - her inky black hair bouncing with her - as she asks, "Is she your mate? We've heard so much about her from mama and papa over the past few days. I want to meet her!" I chuckle but everyone freezes when her next question leaves her lips, "Is she really Tamlin's daughter?"

I look at Lena who's looking at me with wide eyes. Down the bond, I say, She's only eight; she doesn't understand what a loaded question that is.

She nods and I know that she understood that before I even told her. Lena walks over and bends down next to me - though that dress looks like it makes that difficult - and says, "I am Tamlin's daughter, is that a bad thing?"

Stella looks at her, studying her, with those blue-gray eyes of hers and asks, "Are you going to be mean to anyone?"

Lena looks hurt and then understanding fills her face as I think she realizes how much her father must've hurt our family and she says, "No, never."

Stella, always a good judge of character, says, "Okay, then it's not a bad thing." and hugs Lena around the neck. Lena looks stunned for a second before she hugs the little girl back.

Aedon watches all of this with a hard look on his face and I realize that he's judging Lena too; he's making sure that his twin sister won't be hurt by this outsider. I can't help but be proud of him for wanting to protect our sister so much even at only eight years of age.

My aunt Mor breaks through this special moment and says, "Okay now that that's all over, can we please start dinner? I'm starving."

I chuckle and help both my special ladies to their feet and walk into the dining room holding their hands. Tonight might not be so bad.

Lena

We sit down to eat and I expect Rhys to sit at the head of the table but he sits to the right of it and Feyre sits to the right of him. Azriel sits on Feyre's other side and next to him is who I assume is Elain. I watch as Cassian sits across from Rhys and I'm guessing Nesta is the one who sits next to Cassian. The blonde woman who I suspect is Mor sits next to Nesta and Kieran sits next to her, gesturing for me to sit next to him which I do. The twins sit opposite each other, one at each end.

I furrow my brow as I try to figure out their seating arrangement when I realize there isn't one; they sit where they want. "You - you don't sit at the head of the table, Rhysand?" I ask.

Everyone at the table but the twins and Kieran laughs. When they're done laughing, Feyre addresses me, "Oh Lena, Lucien asked the same thing when he came here. No, we don't really do things like that here; it's more casual, family-like. And please call him Rhys."

I chew on my bottom lip. "Okay."

Nesta sits forward and looks down the table to me, "So tell us about yourself, Lena, we've heard so much yet not enough."

I don't know what to tell them about myself; no one has ever really asked me to tell them about myself. Kieran's figured out things about me without me needing to tell him and he's the only one who really knows me . . . "What would you like to know?" I ask in a shaking voice.

Kieran slips his hand into mine under the table and squeezes it. "Can you turn into a beast like your father?"

In my head, I wince. On the outside, I smile and say, "I can, though I don't like to."

Nesta nods. "Of course, who would? I am curious . . . how do you feel about your father?"

Kieran throws a piercing glance at her, but I ignore it and ask, "What do you mean?"

She shrugs. "Well, how do you feel about him? How do you see him? Is he a monster to you or something good like a savior?"

Kieran says into my head, Aunt Nesta can be a bit cold until she gets used to you; don't take any of her questions or comments to heart, she's just trying to figure out if she can trust you.

"I see my father as a person. He's just like any other Fae - lesser or High - any of us have the capacity for evil, even humans. I'm not calling him a savior, but he's not a monster, not truly.

Nesta looks dissatisfied with my answer, but Mor breaks the awkward tension between us, "Well, I have news."

Kieran smiles at her. "Good or bad?"

Mor's answering smile is infectious. "Good, really good. I've met someone and I really like her, like really really like her."

Feyre gasps and squeals with glee. "I'm so happy, Mor. Tell us everything! I want to know who this beauty must be to win the heart of the Morrigan."

Mor starts talking about her new love, Melody, and everyone gushes over it. The night goes on as we eat and chat, making small talk and laughing at Aedon's hilarious jokes, but I feel an icy chill set as I realize Nesta is avoiding looking in my direction or speaking directly to me and the shadows that curl around Azriel's head and whisper secrets in his ear look darker, bringing bad news, and his eyes keep wandering over to me as they whisper their dark secrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so Nesta is kind of rude in this chapter . . . but it's for a good reason. I love Nesta okay, but she was cold to Feyre in all the books so I don't see her being very welcoming to some girl she doesn't know who is the daughter of the male that took her sister away, hurt her sister psychology, and who's betrayal led to her being forced into being changed irrevocably into a High Fae - something she hated and feared - and led to her mate - though she didn't know it at the time - being seriously injured. She doesn't trust Lena and she wants to protect her family and her nephew so she's cold to her.


	14. Part 14

Lena

It's been two days since the dinner and Nesta still refuses to speak to me unless she's speaking coldly or harshly and Azriel keeps sneaking glances my way as his shadows whisper to him. I thought that after a few days everything would go back to normal and they would get used to me being here, but they haven't and Kieran doesn't say anything because he doesn't know; he's so busy with High Lord training that I don't want to bother him.

But it's starting to annoy me. I can't even go to the library; Nesta locked me out. All I've done is wonder the halls of the House of Wind during the day because I have no one to bring me back to the city below and the town house within after Kieran flies me up here for the day. 

Right now I'm sitting on the roof of the House of Wind and staring down at the city as a cold breeze washes across my face; it's winter here, but it's not as cold as it was in the mountains. I'm not expecting to do anything for the rest of the day so I figured I might as well watch the city below.

I don't hear Cassian approach, but I hear him when he says, "Is that the only thing you're going to do, tiny? Look out of windows and off of roofs?" I turn around to find him a few feet behind me with a cocky smirk on his face. "Here I thought you were gonna be interesting - fun to play with."

I shrug. "What am I suppose to do? Your wife locked me out of the library so I can't read. I can't fly so I can't go down there and walk through the town."

He raises a brow. "I thought you could shapeshift."

"I can. I've never turned myself into an animal though."

A smile lifts his lips. "Good, that will be the first thing we work on."

"What?" It leaves my lips in a gush that I can't stop.

"I'm training you. Kieran said you already worked with him on swordplay a bit, correct?" I nod. He continues, "Good, then we can save that for after you can shapeshift into an animal. Start."

I furrow my brow. "What am I supposed to be starting?"

"Shapeshifting. Shift into what you can."

I raise a brow skeptically before closing my eyes and obeying. I conjure up an image of the stable boy that I've changed into so many times before. I memorize every line of his face and will it onto mine. I force my body to become like his. Every muscle. Every freckle. Every mole.

And when I open my eyes I'm a little taller than normal and Cassian is staring at me blankly as if me transforming into a boy is no feat at all. Cassian looks me over and shrugs before saying, "Back to you."

I change myself back and wait.

"Have you ever changed anyone other than yourself?"

I shrug. "I've turned my horse into a mouse."

A chuckle. "Of course you have." His chuckle fades with his smile and he goes into what I'm going to call "commander mode, "Shift into something that isn't some scrawny boy."

I don't know who I want to change into and I about to say no when a funny idea creeps into my brain. So change. And when I open my eyes again I'm a foot taller than normal and looking right into Cassian's eyes with the same hazel eyes.

"Shit!" He yells as he looks back at a full-length mirror image of himself. He looks me up and down and smiles. "Damn, I didn't know I look that good."

I roll my eyes and shake my head until he says, "Good, but I want you to change into an animal."

I huff and cross my arms over my chest as I close my eyes and imagine the first thing that flows into my mind. A lion. I imagine my golden curls turning into fine, soft hair that sprawls over the length of my body that curves in on itself and bones change shape into a the bones of an animal. I feel claws tear free from my paws and giant teeth crash through my gums instead of my normal dull teeth and I feel a tail sprouting out of my rear. When I open my eyes Cassian is smiling down at me.

I growl at him before lifting a paw and looking at it and jumping around excitedly and mewling.

"Good job." Cassian says before ordering, "Something else now."

I sit back on my haunches and lick my paw as I think. "Now would be nice." I growl at his tone and look up to find a bird soaring through the air above me, an eagle or a hawk, and I start to change into it.

My body turns even smaller and the fine hair coating my body becomes soft and feathery until golden feathers are sticking out of my skin. Instead of large teeth a beak breaks through my face; my front legs turn into long, beautiful wings and my back legs become shorter as well as the claws on my feet.

I caw when I'm done and Cassian looks me over, nodding. "Think you can fly or do you need a lesson?" I spread my wings and fly from the ground to his shoulder; all the bird's instincts are now mine. "Well then, I suppose you're free to look around now, aren't you?" I caw and start to spread my wings again when he says, "But you're not. You're going to train with me in your human form. This time I'm testing your fists not your magic."

I feel like groaning but this body doesn't make that kind of noise so I bite his ear with my beak instead before flying off and changing midair.

He rolls his eyes at me. "Not cool." Throwing some leathery clothes at me, he orders, "I'll be in the training area downstairs. Join me when you're done putting those on."

He leaves me staring down at the bunch of leathers in front of me. I've never needed to put on leathers or armor of any kind so I have no idea where to even start. Well, I know where to start; I need to take off my other clothes.

I start taking off my new Night Court apparel. I love the Night Court clothes; they allow so much more freedom than the tight, modest dresses of the Spring Court. The outfit I'm wearing today includes a loose fitting, long-sleeved shirt that reaches midway down my thighs and pants that are loose until they reach my ankles where they connect and super comfy, fur-lined slippers.

When I'm completely undressed, I look down at the pile of leathers and I start by pulling on the pants then the boots - they look easy enough - and that's where I stop because I have no idea what to do with the rest of it. The top part looks like a vest type thing but I don't know where all the buckles connect and everything. 

A flicker of distress flashes through me as I look down at all the stuff and that's all it takes for Kieran to appear. "What do you need? Are you hurt? Are you okay?"

He rushes to me to start examining me, but I just ask, "How do you put all this stuff on?"

He looks down at the pile in front of me then back at me and notices that I'm only in some leather pants, boots. and a bra and he gulps. "Is Uncle Cass teaching you or something?"

I nod. "He's supposed to start training me, but I have no idea how to put this stuff on."

"Well, I can help." He picks up the vest like thing and puts it on me, buckling all the right buckles in the front and the back, before he grabs the belt-like things and kneels in front of me, buckling them around my hips. When he finishes he braces his hand on my hips as he stands and gives me a sweet kiss. "I hope you kick my uncle's ass." And he flashes back to where he was before.

I go inside and wander to the training room where I find Cassian waiting.

"Took you long enough, tiny."

I shrug. "I've never worn leathers before. I wasn't sure how to put everything on."

He looks me up and down before smirking. "Looks like you managed pretty well, maybe too well?"

I raise a brow. "I'm a fast learner."

"Mhm."

Huffing I ask, "Are we going to get started or what?"

He rolls his eyes before commanding, "Give me twenty push ups."

I groan. I've never done a push up. I've only seen them outlined in an exercise book. "I've never done this before so don't laugh."

I drop to my knees and place my hands on the ground on either side of my head and straighten my legs so I'm only being held up by my arms and the tips of my toes. And I suddenly drop and push myself back up.

Cassian's laughing before I can do the second one. "You suck, tiny."

I huff with embarrassment and sit back on my knees, crossing my arms over my chest. "I told you I've never done one before. I've only seen them outlined in books."

Cass drops down and gets in the form that I was just in but his back is straighter and his shoulders are more squared than mine were. He lowers himself slowing until he's about an inch or two from the ground then he pushes himself back up. "That was a push up, tiny. Do it."

I roll my eyes at his commanding tone before dropping to the ground and doing what he did. I look up at him for approval when I'm done and he nods. "A bit rusty but good enough. Now do the other nineteen."

I'm lying flat on my back by number ten. I'm breathing heavily and my heart is beating so hard and furious that I'm scared it might burst out of my chest. Cassian watches this for five seconds before he says, "Get up. Time to work on your cardio. You're doing twenty laps around the room."

I sit up, gulping in air for my poor lungs, and look up at him. "C'mon, give me five minutes to rest after that torture. I'll give you twenty laps then; my running isn't actually that bad."

"Up. Running. Now."

I hold up my hands in surrender. "Fine, fine, but if I die of exercise you're the one who's telling Kieran."

He rolls his eyes, but he doesn't say anything.

I huff as I pick myself up off the ground and start jogging around the room. First lap, I'm good. Second lap, less good. Third lap, I'm so out of shape that I don't even know the last time I was in shape.

I'm about to give up like I did on the push ups when an idea bursts into my mind. He never said I couldn't do magic. I close my eyes as I'm running and shift into the lioness from earlier. When I open my eyes I'm shorter but I'm running faster and I feel stronger.

This body is strong and used to running during hunts to get its prey. This body can run. This body doesn't have to stop to breath heavily like I did.

When I finish the last lap, I stride over to Cassian and look up at him. "You were supposed to work on human you's cardio, not lion you's."

I shift immediately and turn a pout on him. "But it was much more fun this way."

He huffs before saying, "All right, let's see if you can punch."

Much to Cassian's surprise, I can throw a punch. Kieran taught me the night that I trained with him. He taught me all the basics and even let me punch him a few times to practice; he pretended to be more injured by the hits than he was, falling to ground and crying out that I've won and he's lost.

Cassian however doesn't seem affected at all by my punches. It's like I'm hitting a statue.

After two hours of punching the stony body of Cassian I say, "C'mon, when are we going to stop. I must've punched you a hundred times."

"When you hurt me is when we'll stop."

I keep punching as Kieran and the rest of his family, besides Nesta, joins the room. I'm giving Cassian a punch to the gut when a shadow whispers into Azriel's ear and Azriel stops and looks straight at me before turning to Rhys and Feyre.

"Tamlin is sending all the High Lords a message."

A note suddenly appears in Rhysand's hands and he opens it, but Azriel, who's not even looking at the paper, is the one who reads it out loud, "I, High Lord Tamlin of the Spring Court, call for a meeting of the High Lords. Two weeks in the manor of the Spring Court. Wives and important members of the Court are invited to join."

Feyre raises her brows. "He really thinks we'd be stupid enough to come to his Court again."

Rhys shakes his head. "Or none of the other Courts want to host him."

Kieran's frowning watching the ground in front of him. "But we know what he wants - what he's going to ask for - and he's not getting her." He looks up and his eyes meet mine and I nod. He's not getting me back.

Rhys nods. "Of course not."

It's silent for a few minutes and I'm about to break the silence with a joke when Elain stands up, drawing a wary, concerned gaze from Azriel, and walks to me. She grabs my hand and starts speaking with a blank look in her eyes, "There is another."

My brow furrows on its own. "Another what?"

"Another you, another like you. A child of gold and Spring."

I look up for help and only find everyone watching us. "What do you mean, a child of gold and Spring?"

"You will find him. To be free, you must find him." She looks up into my eyes. "You will find the forgotten son in a land of darkness and deception."

It seems I'm the only who doesn't understand what Elain is saying and why she's saying it because when I look up again everybody is staring at her with wide eyes before they all smile. "Can someone tell me what she's talking about?"

Azriel steps forward. "Elain is a seer, she just spoke the future to you."

I raise a brow because that doesn't explain any of what she just said and Rhys steps forward. "It seems you are not Tamlin's only child."

My eyes widen and I look back at Elain and run through her words again. "The forgotten son . . . I have a brother?"

Elain nods before looking at Azriel exhaustively. He picks her up, "She sometimes gets tired after speaking the future." and carries her out of the room.

Kieran's looking at me with concern as his voice pops into my brain, How do you feel about this?

I shrug and he says, It's not a bad thing. I love my brother.

That's not what's worrying me. What worrying me is that he would be Tamlin's son, what if he's violent like his father? And what if he's not? What if he's just a normal boy and I find him and bring him back to our father and he becomes his heir and Tamlin abuses him like he abused me?

Anger roars in me at the thought that male hurting my brother even if I've never met him and suddenly I need to punch someone so I turn to Cassian and land a hard punch in his stomach. He doubles over, gasping, "Good." he mutters and when he gulps down more air and straightens he says, "You're done for today."

I stride out the door, not waiting for Kieran or anybody, I need to be alone right now or I might just shred something or someone. I look down and watch a claws start to slide out of my knuckles and I push them back at hard as I can, willing my anger to go away, but it doesn't. So instead of wishing it away, I'm wishing it to preserve itself in a space inside me and save itself for the next time I see my father. The meeting of the High Lords is in two weeks and I'm going to be there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was kind of a filler chapter until the end so it's not very good but I just needed to get to Elain seeing the future soo yeah.


	15. Part 15

Kieran

I walk up behind Lena and wrap my arms around her waist to warm her when I see her shivering as she stands on my balcony with the cold winter wind sweeping over her. "Why don't you come inside?" I whisper in her ear and she shivers but not from the cold, "I'll make some hot chocolate."

She leans back against me but doesn't say anything. She's been doing that a lot, not saying anything, and it's starting to worry me. She's been quiet and reserved for nearly two weeks; I know it's about tomorrow when we go to Spring to meet with the other High Lords and her father, but it's also about her brother. I can feel her concern and something else . . . her anger. It roils just beneath the concern, crawling and creeping around, waiting to be released. That's what worries me the most.

"I think I'll stay out here." She mumbles.

I unwrap my arms from her but I don't go back inside. I walk in front of her and sit on the balcony. "Talk to me, sunshine. Don't shut me out."

She shrugs. "There's nothing to talk about."

She starts to head back inside but I grab her elbow and gently pull her back to me. "Please. I can feel your concern for your brother, but I also feel your anger and I want to know why you're angry. I want to know what's going on inside my mate's head."

She crosses her arms over her chest angrily before she drops them tiredly and says so quietly I almost don't hear her, "I keep imagining the things my father did to me and I'm terrified that if I find this long lost brother that my father will do the same things to him."

I shake my head. "If he does, we'll take care of it. It's about time your father came out of power anyways."

She furrows her brow. "I don't want to kill my father and that's the only way he'll ever come out of power."

I huff. "Why do you still protect him? He was horrible to you - "

She cuts me off with a glare, "And nobody remembers that more than me, but nobody remembers the times when he was kind and sweet more than me as well."

"He was kind and sweet." I say flatly.

She gets a wistful look as she spins a golden curl around her finger. "He was. When I was young, before my mother died. He used to let me ride on his shoulders around the manor and he would run fast and pretend to be a horse and sometimes he would spin me around until I was too dizzy to even ask him to do it again. He would read me stories to help me fall asleep; he would make different funny voices for each character." I see tears lining her eyes so I pull her close to me and hug her tightly, rubbing her back with a firm hand.

"He would brush my hair and my mother would braid it. He used to go on trips to patrol the border and bring me pretty dresses and little necklaces. I used to have one that was an emerald in the shape of a heart on a golden chain - my mother had a matching one - I lost it and he told me that he would search the whole Court to find it. My mother died a week later and the search died with her, so did his kindness." She shrugs. "Say what you will about him, but he loved my mother and he was kind and sweet to her, for her. That's how I know he's not a monster. That's how I know that I can't kill him."

I nod. "All right."

"I want to hurt him though." She murmurs. "Cauldron, I want to hurt him. I want him to see how much he's hurt me and I want to hurt him back. I want him to feel all the pain I've felt, not just the physical but also the emotional." She looks up at me with her wide green eyes and asks, "Does that make me a bad person?"

I shake my head. "Of course not."

"How do you know?"

I tease, "Because I could never love a bad person."

She whispers so lowly my Fae ears barely pick it up, "Maybe you only love me because of the bond."

I gently pull her away from me and look down at her. I look her straight in the eyes as I say, "I love you because I love you. We love who we love, you know that. The bond has nothing to do with it."

"The bond helps."

I furrow my brow before I realize where this is coming from. Her insecurity. She's never thought anyone could possibly love her. "You know my Aunt Elain and Uncle Azriel?"

She nods shyly. "Elain has a mate and he is not Azriel. She rejected the bond because she didn't love her bondmate. They tried, they tried for a year to make it work and she just couldn't make herself love him, even with the bond. But she loves Azriel without a bond. Do you see what I'm trying to say? We can love outside a bond. The bond has nothing to do with who we love." She winces at that but I continue, "This bond has nothing to do with how much I love you, okay? If I were bonded to someone else I would still love you. Forever and always, sunshine."

Her eyes are shining with tears but this time I can see that they're happy tears. "Good, bat-brain, because I love you too."

I smile sweetly and say, "Well, after you questioned my devotion to you I think I need to prove how deep my devotion runs, apparently I haven't been doing so well at that these past few weeks."

She roll her eyes. "You've been doing - "

I cuts her off with a kiss that's rough and passionate and full of love and I don't think she even remembers that she was mid-sentence when I kissed. I scoop her up and carry her to the bed in my room without breaking the kiss and spend the rest of the night proving how much I love her; she does a little proving too.

\-----

Lena

Nuala and Cerridwen are dressing me for the meeting today in a sleeveless, high-neck dress; a keyhole in the dress shows off some of my chest. The dress is tight on my abdomen but loosens at my waist and flows freely around my legs. There's a split up the middle of the skirt that shows my legs which are covered by tight leggings of the same deep plum color as the dress. Everything is lined in gold.

They slide gold sandals on my feet and pull my hair up into an elaborate ponytail, teasing out the golden curls to make a thick tail of gold stream behind me. Golden earrings with a dangling chains are placed on my ears and put thick, golden cuffs on my upper arm; smokey makeup is covering my face.

I look in the mirror and see an Night Court patron looking back at me. "You girls really did well today."

They smile before opening the door for me which means it's time to head downstairs. I've walked down these stairs a lot the past few weeks and every time I do I look at the paintings lining the walls; some are Feyre's and some are my Kieran's and I love each one of them. I wish I had grown up seeing art rather than blank walls.

When I reach the bottom of the stairs I find Kieran standing in the middle of the hall with his hands behind his back. He whistles when he sees me, "Well, aren't you looking mighty pretty, my lovely mate."

I smile widely. "You look very handsome yourself, mate." He does. He always does with his ruffled hair - damn, I don't think he brushed it after last night - and finely made clothes that are tailored to hug all the right curves on his body. "What do you have behind your back?"

He brings his hands around to his front and in them is a bouquet of flowers which he holds out to me, "For you." It's not a bouquet of roses like I always got from Roric. It's not a bouquet of any flowers that can be found in the Spring Court. These are all Night Court flowers. Some are bright white while other's are a dark navy blue. Some are the light peach of the dawn while others are a a deep red. And surround all of them, wrapped around every stem, are white jasmines.

"You're giving me flowers?" I ask as I take them and brush my fingers along the soft petals before burying my nose in their sweet scent.

He smiles widely and it's blinding. "Aunt Elain was ecstatic when I came to her to this morning asking for help with them. I've never seen her so excited."

"If you're giving me flowers then I believe I owe you a kiss." I say coyly.

He smirks. "I believe you do."

"Hmm." I stand on my tiptoes to place a sweet peck on his cheek.

He frowns. "Nope, I don't accept that as proper payment."

I kiss the other cheek. "Not there either."

I make myself as tall as I can and he leans down so I can kiss his forehead. "Wrong again."

"Hmm, oh I think I know where you want." I kiss the tip of his nose and he growls playfully while I start giggling.

He swoops down and picks me, making me squeal loudly, and starts tickling my sides, making me laugh even as I try to scowl at him. "Still wrong."

When he sets me back on my feet I reach my hands up and place on on either cheek, pulling his face down to me, and kiss him.

Until I hear Rhys yell, "All right, stop smooching; we're coming down."

Kieran yells, "Dad!" before winking at me. I sit the flowers down on a table nearby and turn back to give him one last kiss before we head into chaos.

That's when Rhysand and Feyre come down the stairs and now I know where they got their nicknames of Night Triumphant and Stars Eternal. Rhys is wearing an all black, finely tailored suit that is lined with silver threading while Feyre is wearing a shining blue dress that hugs all her curves. And on their heads are crowns that look like they were made from stars themselves.

"Well, I thought we looked great, but you guys look stunning."

Feyre laughs before saying, "Don't say that to him - it'll go to his head. His ego is already big enough."

Rhys raises a brow. "It's not just my ego that's big enough, right, Feyre darling?"

Kieran pretends to vomit at the comment while Feyre blushes and stares at Rhys, probably sending a message down their bond. Rhys looks at her and says, "Two can play at that game, Feyre." but his voice comes out a little strangled and I can tell that if it's a game they're playing, Feyre will win.

"I think it's time to go." Kieran mumbles.

Rhys nods and whispers distractedly, "Yeah, the other's are waiting for us in Spring."

\-----

I take a deep breath as we land in the gardens of the Spring Court manor; we had to winnow and I feel a bit dizzy after it. Kieran rubs my back and looks at me with concern which I wave away by saying, "I'm fine. I'm still not used to the winnowing. I don't like it very much." He nods and keeps his hand on my back until I straighten and start walking, trailing behind Feyre and Rhys.

We walk through the shrubbery and the rose bushes with guards watching our every movement. Kieran's eyes dart back and forth from each guard to me before he whispers down the bond, Tell me you want to leave and we will leave at anytime.

I nod and offer up a smile though the smell of fresh roses has my stomach turning and as I look up at the mansion I was raised I notice my hands starting to shake. I reach over and grab Kieran's hand twining our fingers together; if I can't keep my hands from shaking I might as well try to keep the shaking from being so noticeable.

Feyre and Rhys approach the doors with us trailing behind them and start knocking. One of my father's servants, Myza, opens the door and bows before letting us in. I smile at her and she smiles back kindly - she's one of the girls that used to try to teach me how to cook; I took a liking to her instantly because she was around my age and we became friends until my father forbade me from the kitchens.

She leads us down the halls and to the room that I know my father's reserved for the meeting. The room that I knew he would force me to see at least once while I am here. My bedroom.

She opens the door and we walk in to find that everything has changed. The walls are now emerald green and the floors are of a cream-colored wood. My furniture has been removed and all my personal items with it to provide room for the twenty chairs my father has placed in a large oval around the room. And in every other free space is a vase or a pot with a bushel of roses in it.

He's turned my room of night and stars into a room of spring and flowers.

Devastation rolls through me but I don't let it show. I keep a straight, unimpressed face as I stare at all the changes; only Kieran knows how I'm feeling right now, judging by the way he squeezes my hand softly and pulls me closer to his side.

Right in the middle of this newly renovated room is my father smiling smugly - a few other High Lords are seated already with bored looks on their exquisite faces - he holds out a hand towards us and says, "Welcome, honored guests." He looks straight at me when he says, "Ah, my daughter, glad to see you've returned her in one piece. Well, that's really all I wanted so the meeting doesn't even have to - "

Kieran cuts him off, "We haven't returned her to you. She's not a piece of property. She's staying with me."

My father makings a humming noise before saying, "Well, I suppose the rest of the High Lords shall decide if that will happen."

Feyre cuts in sleekly, "High Lords and High Ladies. I believe there are two now, other than myself."

My father rolls his eyes. "Yes, the High Ladies will have a say as well."

Feyre smirks and winks at me before sitting down and waving at us to follow - which we do - and I end up sitting to her right. Azriel and Cassian then appear out of nowhere and take the seats to Kieran's right. I watch as the room fills up with High Lords and their ladies and one of the other High Ladies, Viviane, with Mor by her side.

Feyre squeals as the High Lady appears and rushes to her and they start talking excitedly. I think they say something about Viviane's daughter and High Lord Tarquin's son; I thought they looked a bit cozy at my father's birthday ball last year, though they appeared to only be friends then.

They stop talking when Tarquin and his High Lady, Lys, walk into the room and sit down. Feyre takes her seat again and waits for my father to start the meeting.

My father claps his hands once and says, "I suppose you all know why you are here?"

Eris, High Lord of Autumn, says in a bored voice, "I suppose it has something to do with your daughter sitting with the Night Court rather than you." and suddenly everybody's eyes are on me. I feel like shrinking in on myself and casting my eyes down, but I keep my head up and my shoulders straight.

"Yes."

High Lord Helion already looks done with this conversation. "Well, what do you expect us to do about it?"

My father glares at him. "She was taken from under my roof by the heir of the Night Court. She was engaged to be married and now I'm sure she's been ruined." I can feel Kieran smirking next to me, the little shit. "They stole my property and ruined it."

I turn a glare on my father and say, "I am not anyone's property and I am not an it." He opens his mouth to say something but I cut him off by adding, "And if I'm ruined then so be it. The ruining part was quite fun."

Kieran starts chuckling next to me along with Cassian and Mor and I can see Rhys and Feyre holding back laughter along with the other High Lords and Ladies but my father's eyes burn with anger.

"It is a crime for another High Lord or his heir to take someone that is under a High Lord's protection - that is the High Lord's family - from their home."

I sputter. I told myself I was holding back my anger so I could give my father a beating he'd never forget but instead I think I'm going to use it to verbally ruin him. "Under your protection? What a load of horse shit."

His jaw sets and I see a muscle flinch in it as he grits out, "What was that?"

"You heard me." I lift up my sleeve to show everybody my burn mark. "Does this look like I was protected?" I bend over and slide a pant's leg up, showing a scar the size of one of my fingers, "Or this?" I pull my dress up a bit - which is easy with the slit - so everybody can see the scars that run along my side, clearly showing them exactly how I got these injuries, "Or this? I have some scars just like that on my back too." I let my dress slide down again and look up to find everybody staring at me with mixes of horror or sadness on their faces.

Only two people don't look horrified or sad. Kieran who's looking at me in awe and sending a line of pride down the bond and my father who's glaring at me with red-hot rage. Red-hot rage that I usually would have cowered from but I don't need to cower anymore. I'm not going to be afraid of him. He can't hurt me anymore.

"Father, don't look so angry. That's what got me all these scars in the first place." I sneer.

His claws slide out an inch and it takes all I have not to flinch, but I don't and I feel Kieran's pride bursting down the bond again and it helps me to keep from staring at the claws in fear, it helps me to not want to cower, it helps me not feel that flicker of phantom pain rake down my back and along my side.

"You will stay here. You will not return to the Night Court. Your home is here. You will be marrying Roric once we know that the Night Court's spawn isn't in you." I growl along with Kieran.

"My home is with my mate." That one sentence changes everything. I can see the other High Lords, some that might have been on the fence about this, looking over Kieran and I, sniffing the air to find our entwined scents, and setting their faces in resolve. No one would tear mates apart.

My father sputters, "That's not possible."

I shrug and smirk. "But it is. I assume we're done here now."

"No. You are still my only heir. Your place is here in the Court you will one day rule."

A secretive glance passes between each member of the Night Court and Kieran whispers in my mind, Tell them.

So I take a deep breath a say, "What if I wasn't?" Everybody looks at me with confused expressions but I continue, "What if I wasn't your only heir? Then would I be released from everything involving the Spring Court?"

"I have no other children."

Feyre speaks next, "But you do. My sister Elain as you all know is a seer. And she saw that Lena would find the only other child of Spring. The forgotten son is what she called him."

"I have no other children. I would know."

"Unless you wouldn't." I say. "How many times have you participated in Calanmai? How many times have you just been lonely and in need of . . . company?" He doesn't answer so I answer for him. "Countless. You wouldn't know if you had another child or not."

"You're steadily becoming more of a pain in my ass."

Cassian howls a laugh so loud that some of the other Fae wince. "She's good at that."

I roll my eyes at Cass who just smirks back at me before looking up at my father and meeting his eyes without so much as a shudder and saying, "I'll find you're forgotten son on three conditions."

"You're in no place to be making deals - "

"One, you must never contact me again."

"I will not agree to - "

"Two, you will give me any of my personal items that still exist along with my horse, Skydance."

"All of that stuff was - "

"Three, you will not harm my brother, your son, like you've harmed me," I stand up and walk straight for him, aware of all the eyes on my back, and look down on him as he still sits in his chair. "Because if you do," I let my own claws slide all the way out and I hold them up, "you'll find out exactly what it feels like to have claws rake down your back. Deal?"

I see my father gulp and look around at the unforgiving faces around him. "Fine, but if you do not find him you will come back to being my heir."

Kieran's frantic voice claws itself into my mind, Don't, Lena. Don't sell yourself like this. As he says out loud, "Lena, no. Please."

"Done. Now get me a list of every woman you've ever slept with that you can remember."

He snorts, but I narrow my eyes and he huffs, "Fine."

I stare at him for a second longer before I realize what I had just done. Oh Cauldron, I just . . . interrupted my father three times. I just talked back to him. I threatened him. He's going to kill me. I'm dead. I'm so dead. I'm striding out the room before anyone has a chance to catch me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I just realized that all my italicized stuff is not being italicized and I'm sorry but I'm not going back to redo all that stuff. If it sounds like their speaking but it's not in quotes then their doing the whole daemati/mate thing and it's supposed to be italicized but it's not.


	16. Part 16

Kieran  
Lena rushes out of the meeting and I follow her despite the protests of the High Lords and Ladies - the meeting was not officially adjourned but I honestly don’t care. I find her leaning against a wall breathing heavily and clutching her stomach.  
I rush to her and cup her face in my hands. “What’s wrong, sunshine?”  
Her eyes are as wide as saucers as she says, “I just … Oh Cauldron, I just - I actually spoke to my father like that. I talked back to him.” Her eyes widen impossibly more and her breaths come in fast heaves. “I commanded a deal out of him. I made demands. To him.”  
She pushes away from the wall and starts pacing up and down the hall. “He’ll kill me. Cauldron, I’m surprised he didn’t just kill me in front of all of you.” One of her hands moves up to cover her mouth. “I can’t believe I just did that. I think I’m going to be sick.”  
The girl who opened the door for us walks up to Lena and puts a gentle hand on her shoulder. “How about I show you to your room, my lady?”  
Lena nods and I follow them as the girl starts leading her up a staircase and to the end of a hall. She opens a door and leads us into a small bedroom that looks more like a closet. A small, one-person bed is in the corner and that’s it.  
The girl turns around to leave Lena and says to me, “You are in a different room, my lord.”  
I raise a brow. “The hell I am. Where Lena stays, I stay.”  
The girl’s brows furrow. “There’s no room for you to sleep here, my lord.”  
I look at the small mattress and around the room before my eyes land on Lena who looks like she might actually puke and also like she needs a hug. “We’ll make it work, thanks.”  
The girl shrugs before leaving and closing the door behind her.  
I smile at Lena before pulling her into a hug and kissing the top of her forehead. “You were very brave back there. I’m proud of you, proud to call you my mate.”  
She burrows closer to my chest. “I know.” She pulls back and looks me over. “I miss your wings. Why don’t you have them out?”  
I know she’s trying to change the subject, but if she doesn’t want to talk about what happened at the meeting then I’m not going to push her. “I don’t keep them out around enemies.”  
She nods in understanding; she knows how important an Illyrian’s wings are. She looks down at the bed next to us and smirks. “We’re going to make it work, eh?”  
I roll my eyes. “Honestly, I don’t know. I barely fit in this room as a whole, let alone in that tiny bed. It was made for a little imp like you.”  
She scoffs and pokes me in the side. “Imp is not something you call your loving mate.”  
I tease her even though she’s not too short, not as short as Aunt Amren, “Dwarf, pixie, shortcake, tiny - ”  
She starts tickling me, making me laugh, “None of those things either.”  
“Mate.” I kiss her cheek. “Beautiful.” I kiss her other cheek which is now stained a pretty pink. “Darling.” My lips land on her forehead. “Adorable.” Her nose. “Sunshine.” And finally her lips. “Everything.” I whisper against them.  
“Hmm.” She hums. “I think this room is a little too small for what will happen if you keep that up.”  
I smile against her lips. “Then perhaps we should go somewhere else.”  
“Perhaps we should.”  
“And where would you like to go, sunshine?”  
She shrugs. “Anywhere. Everywhere.”  
“We have to stick to one place for now.” I pull her as close as I can and whisper, “But whenever all this shit with your father is over I will take you everywhere. We won’t stop traveling until you’ve seen the world.”  
She gets a wistful look in her eyes before shaking her head and saying, “What about your High Lord lessons?”  
“They can wait, it’s not like we’re going to run out of time.”  
She purses her lips. “Will you take me to the Winter Court?” I nod. “The Dawn Court?” Another nod. “I heard Day Court is fun?”  
I smirk. “Oh yes, Helion has made it quite a … fun place.”  
She raises a brow but continues, “Summer?”  
I chuckle. “You’d love Summer. We can stay in a house on the beach and swim in the sea - ”  
Her ears turn red as she cuts me off. “I can’t swim.”  
“You can’t swim?”  
“It’s not like I ever needed to and I never had anyone to teach - ”  
“Hold that thought. I’m going to teach you how to swim this evening but give me five minutes.” And I winnow to my mother to ask her for directions to a special pool of starlight.  
—–  
Lena  
“Why did we have to winnow here?” I moan as I shrug off the dizziness that seems to accompany winnowing for me.  
Kieran rubs a hand soothingly down my back, “Sorry, sunshine. I didn’t think Tamlin would be very happy about us just walking out the front door.”  
I nod as the dizziness goes away. “I really hate winnowing.”  
“I can tell.” He says before grabbing my hand and leading me through a few trees to … the pool of starlight.  
“We’re going to swim here?”  
He shrugs. “I’ve always wanted to see it.”  
I smile down at the starry waters fondly. “This was the last place my mother took me before she died.” I sit on the soft green grass and run my fingers through the strands. “We had a picnic. It was lovely.  
"The sky was so blue, not a cloud in sight.” Kieran sits next to me and watches me as I speak. “The birds were singing and the wind rustled the leaves in just the right way. And Mother … Mother sang a song.” I shrug slightly as I whisper, “I don’t remember what song. It was old and in some exotic language and I was young and barely understood the common tongue.”  
“How’d she die? You never told me.”  
I finally look over to him with a frown. “I don’t really know, to be honest, Father never told me. He always told me she got sick, but … Fae don’t get sick so I don’t know.”  
He raises a brow before smiling and saying, “I thought we came here to swim and forget about the depressing parts of life.”  
“Hmm,” I hold back a smile. “I guess we did.”  
“Well, then I think we should stop talking and start swimming.”  
“Good plan.”  
—–  
My eyes open to a clear blue sky and my father’s green eyes staring stormily down at me, down at Kieran and I. Kieran wakes with a yawn next to me and smiles lazily. “What’s up, Tammy?”  
I can see a snarl building in my father’s throat but he chokes it back and asks, “What are you two doing out here?”  
I blush at the memories of last night. Kieran taught me how to swim in the starry pond and after he taught me we swam around splashing and taunting each other until finally we pounced on each other like animals in heat; luckily, we thought it would be a good idea to put clothes on again before we fell asleep otherwise my father might be seeing a completely different view.  
“Nothing, definitely nothing.” I mumble and scrub a hand across my face to try to wipe away the drowsy exhaustion that still lingers.  
He raises a brow and snorts before saying, “Very convincing.” He reaches in his pocket and pulls out a paper which he throws at me. “Here’s your list. All the females I can remember being intimate with,” He shrugs, “Though it doesn’t contain all the Calanmai females nor all my drunken one timers so have fun with that.”  
I look down at the list in my hand and gasp as I see exactly how many that my father remembers. “There’s a least fifty here! And a lot of them aren’t even in our Court.” It’s true. It seems like the only Court my long lost brother couldn’t be in is the Night Court, there’s not a single Night Court female on this list.  
My father shrugs again. “I’ve been alive for hundreds of years, did you think I spent all of it alone?”  
“No, but I didn’t think you were out whoring around the Courts the whole time either.” I snap. “Did you even have a long-standing relationship with any of these women?”  
He rolls his eyes and sighs like I am the most annoying bug and he can’t wait to be rid of me. “A few of them. They have stars by their names; they lasted at least six months.”  
“This is going to take forever.” I mutter and Kieran peers over my shoulder at the list.  
“Well, sunshine, we should be able to get through the Spring Court quickly - ”  
“No.” My father cuts Kieran off.  
I feel Kieran’s chest rumbling against my back as he growls. “What?”  
“You are to leave my territory today. As are your parents. Only my daughter will be staying here and only for as long as she needs to get through the Spring females.”  
I stand and snarl at him. “I can’t get through this list alone! This could take years!”  
“Then you better get started.” He says as he winnows away.  
I crumble the list in my hand before wincing and smoothing it out again. “Fucking jerk just loves to make things difficult, doesn’t he?”  
Kieran purses his lips, gauging my mood. “Yeah,” Biting his lip he adds, “well, if I can’t help you in Spring then at least I can help you in the other Courts.”  
I’m about to smile and thank him when a sudden voice from behind makes me jump, “You can’t.” Feyre and Rhys walk next to me as Rhys continues, “You are needed at home. You’re the heir and your lessons aren’t finished yet.”  
Kieran groans. “I’m not the only heir. Start teaching Stella or Aedon.”  
Feyre looks down at her hands. “They’re too young. We didn’t start with you until you were thirteen.”  
Rhys nods at Feyre before turning to Kieran. “You know we want to help Lena; she’s family now.” Kieran sighs in relief then Rhys continues, “But you can’t go with her on this. Right now you’re place is at home.”  
Kieran growls so loud that we all flinch and snarls, “My place is with my mate.”  
Even as I say, “Rhys is right.”  
“What?” A single word that isn’t a negative thing to hear, but when I hear the heartbreak and disappointment in Kieran’s tone my own heart cracks.  
“Rhys is right.” I repeat before looking at Feyre and Rhys, silently asking them to give us a moment to which they nod and walk away. I turn back to Kieran and take his hand, twining our fingers together and stroking my thumb across the back of his hand before adding, “I would love nothing more than having you along, to see all the Courts with you, but I think this is something that I need to do without you.”  
A crushing sadness fills his eyes that makes me kiss his cheek. “I love you, but before you I was never allowed to leave, never allowed to adventure. I want to see all the Courts with you. I want to see the world with you. But first, I think I need to do some things without you. So far in my life it’s been nothing then you come in and now I get everything, but I haven’t had the chance to do things by myself. I uh … ” I pause and reconsider my words because I’m even confusing myself. “That doesn’t make any sense. I’m sorry, I don’t know how to explain - ”  
He shushes me with a kiss. “I get it. I get what you’re saying. You need time to do things yourself and if I’m with you then I’ll just do everything for you, right?”  
I shrug. “Around those lines.”  
“Can we compromise?”  
Yes. Of course. Anything. Those are what I want to say. But I don’t.  
Instead, I bite my lip before narrowing my eyes playfully and poking his side. “What’s the compromise?”  
“I won’t go with you, but you do have to take someone with you.”  
“Who would I take with me?”  
A smirk curves across his lips. “I have a friend in mind.”  
“As long as it’s not your aunt Nesta then I think I can agree to this compromise.”  
He laughs wholeheartedly. “Trust me, I would never subject you to only having Aunt Nesta as company for weeks or months on end.” He leans down a bites my ear, “I’m not that cruel.” he whispers as he lays a kiss on neck and I believe him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's taking bets on where the long lost brother might be??????


	17. Part 17

Lena

I shove away from Kieran as I wait for the dizziness to dissipate from my skull. "Why the fuck do we always have to winnow? You have wings for fuck's sake."

Kieran chuckles. "You also can have wings if you want to. You choose not to use them." I roll my eyes and resist the urge to call him a smart ass and he continues, "Besides, winnowing takes less time."

"Yeah, less time and less substance out of my stomach." I mutter rubbing my hand against my rolling stomach. I seriously hate winnowing. When my stomach settles I look around to find that we're in the mountains at some kind of camp. Cabins are set up in various spaces and dark-haired, tanned skinned males are walking around with wings like Kieran's.

"Shit, Kieran, is your friend an Illyrian?"

He nods and starts walking away from the cabins and towards the forested mountains. "Tell me we're not going on a hike." I quip as I jog to catch up with him, which would be easier if I wasn't in a dress with no shoes. "I wish I would have had the time to change before you flashed us here. It would be easier to walk through here."

Kieran turns around with a raised brow before his face goes slack. "Ah, sorry, I forgot." With a snap of his fingers a bundle of clothes lands in his arms. "You can change here, the trees will cover you; there's no one else near us at the moment."

I take the clothes from here before saying, "I could use some help with this dress . . . "

Another snap and my dress is gone and the cool breeze is hitting my bare skin and raising goosebumps on my limbs. I quickly pull on the soft, warm sweater and thick pants in my arms. Kieran pulls the wool socks and leather boots on my feet as I pull a nicely knitted cap.

"Better?"

I nod and rubs my arms through the sweater. "Warmer."

He kisses my forehead. "Good. Now let's go. The sooner we find her, the sooner you can start your task, the sooner you can come back to me."

I nod and walk behind him a few paces before his words catch up to me. "Her?" He nods slightly. "Your friend is a her?"

"Yes," He turns back and looks me in the eyes, "and she's not my type."

He has a type? If we weren't bonded, would I be his type? No, shut up. Don't think about it. "Oh. Tell me about her."

He chuckles and grabs my hand, stitching our fingers together, before starting our hike again. "Honestly, she's sarcastic, fierce, brave. She's a bit of an asshole. But she's good. She'll help."

"Why does she live all the way out here?"

He tenses slightly before saying, "Because she's a bastard."

"And?" I don't get why that means she has to stay out here. I mean, lots of Spring Court children are bastards; we celebrate Calanmai for Cauldron's sake.

He shrugs, "The Illyrian's don't really care for bastards."

"Disappointing." I say as I look around at the snow covered trees. "What's her name?"

"P - "

A smoky voice cuts him off, "Penelope."

We both look up in the direction of the voice to find a young female sitting on a high branch in a pine tree near us with her wings displayed for everyone to see. The girl is beautiful with warm brown skin and dark, wavy hair; her hazel eyes are staring down at us with a piercing clarity.

Kieran smiles relieved. "Hey, Pip, how's everything been?"

The girl drops out of the tree, landing smoothly in front of us without a stumble, "It's been fine."

Kieran gestures to me, "Pip, this is Lena, my mate." Pip's eyebrows go up and an amused expression takes it's place on her face with just a curve of her lips. "Lena, this is Penelope."

Penelope smirks. "I prefer Pip. Penelope is just too long and annoying."

Kieran laughs. "You're the one who picked Penelope! I mean it is better than your actual name but it's your own fault that your name is Penelope." She changed her name?

She scowls. "Give me a break. I was like six. Penelope sounded like a princess name then."

"What was your name before and why did you change it?" I ask, the first time I've spoken to this female and she doesn't look impressed by the questions.

Her hazel eyes narrow, "Gertrude. Do I really need to explain why I wanted to change that?"

I tilt my head from side to side, considering the name, before shaking my head and saying, "Yeah, I would have changed it too."

She nods before turning to Kieran with arms crossed over her chest. "So, what are you doing here?"

A smirk spreads across his lips, "Do I need a reason to come see one of my very best friends?"

"Shut up, asshole." She says but he looks unconcerned so I'm interpreting that as her normal behavior. "You never come here with a smirk on your face and a girl on your arm unless you need something."

Kieran purses his lips and opens his mouth to argue before shrugging, "That's true. Okay so long story short: I need you to help my mate find her long lost brother who could be anywhere in Prythian and get him to come with her to the Spring Court where he will become High Lord Tamlin's heir."

Pip's eyebrows raise. "Why?"

"Because my father is a dick and he won't let me live my own life unless he has someone to replace me and take on his legacy." I say while studying her. She stands with a surety in her squared shoulders and straight back and I can see why Kieran called her fierce; it doesn't look like Pip takes shit from anyone.

She laughs brightly at my statement. "Well, you and I have something in common then." I tilt my head in confusion at her remark and she clarifies, "My father's a dick too. I mean, he didn't even stop my mother from naming me Gertrude." She jokes, but I see a scowl forming on her face for just a second and I wonder if there's more to her relationship with her father than she's letting on.

"So will you help?" Kieran asks.

Pip nods. "Sure, I have nothing else to do. They won't give me any real jobs around here so I might as well skip the jobs they are giving me."

"Which are?" I ask, curious as to what they do for bastards.

"Honestly, I'm surprised they let me keep my wings and compete in the Rite so I guess I should be grateful that they're giving me jobs at all, but they make me work in the kitchens. Making lunches for the patrols and shit." She stares at the sky with stormy eyes blazing with anger. "I'm a warrior. And I'm stuck on sandwich duty."

Kieran grits his teeth. "I'm so sorry, Pip. You know how hard we're working on getting that changed."

Pip nods. "I know, but you need to work faster. I'm not sure how much longer I can take wasting my potential. I need to be out punching things." She cracks her knuckles for emphasis which makes me flinch.

Kieran says as he squeezes my hand, "You might get to punch things on this trip."

"What things?"

"Anybody who threatens Lena," I open my mouth to object and say that I can protect myself - which is a lie because even after working with Cass for two weeks I'm still not that good - but he continues, "Anybody who may try to flirt with or touch my mate."

Pip smirks devilishly and looks me over with dark glinting eyes, "Aw, honey, I might be punching half of Prythian. She's such a pretty little thing." Her smirk only deepens when Kieran lets out a warning snarl. "Are you sure you want to keep her all to yourself?"

I feel as much as hear him take a deep breath to try to calm himself before saying, "If she would rather not be kept all to me then that's her choice, but - "

I cut him off, "But I'm only interested in my mate. And if anyone tries to flirt with me then I'll be the one punching them." Pride and relief flickers down the bond.

Pip smiles widely now. "I like you. You're very interesting." She slings an arm over my shoulders as she leads us through the forest. "If you ever get tired of the lumbering prince just give me a shout."

Kieran sighs. "I don't think she has the same inclinations as you, Pip."

I nod and Pip giggles. "Don't worry, Kieran; I would never steal your mate." Pip winks at me before adding, "Unless she wanted me to."

Kieran groans, "I still think you and my aunt Mor would be good together."

"And I still think the Morrigan is too famous and special to be interested in someone like me."

I shrug. "I think she would like you, but she does have that new girlfriend now."

"See she has a girlfriend." Pip says before she gestures for us to walk into a cave to our left. I look around as we walk in to find that somebody is definitely living here. And that somebody is Pip. There's a dirty mattress at the very back of the cave next to a fire pit and a pile of raggedy leathers laying on the stone floor of the cave. A thin blanket lays strewn across the mattress and a bow with some arrows and a sword lean against a wall. 

"Welcome to my home." Pip says to me as she gestures around.

"It's nice." I say as I rub my arm where goosebumps are raised. It's so cold outside and it doesn't help that the cave barely does anything to contain the winter air's bite.

"No, it's not. It's fucking freezing cold. There's no where to take a shit or shower and my bed is a dirty mattress on the cold stone floor." She looks around considering, "Though I suppose it's better than what most bastards get. I found the cave a few years ago and claimed it as mine. Those tents are even colder if you can believe it."

"I believe it." I mutter as I shiver slightly.

Kieran looks around with sad eyes before he says, "Well, pack your things. You'll be staying in my house with my family tonight before you start your quest in the morning."

Pip looks up with bright, excited eyes, but a frown on her pink lips, "You're joking, right? Me in Velaris?"

"Please no arguing this time." Kieran looks pointedly at her ratty mattress as he continues, "Wouldn't you like to stay in a nice, warm bed tonight?"

Pip bites her lip before nodding. "Fine." She picks up her leathers and her sword and turns back to us. "This is all I have. And really all I need."

Kieran nods and grabs my hand and is about to grab hers when I realize what he's doing and I back away, shaking my head. "Nope, not again today. We're flying. No winnowing."

He opens his mouth to object and I shush him. "No."

"Well, are you flying yourself or - "

I swiftly change into the golden hawk that I've been perfecting for the past two weeks. My golden wings are as long as Kieran's arms and my body fits proportionally between them. My beak is sharp and gleaming while my eyes are soft and clear. My feathers are soft and glisten in the sun's light.

Kieran smiles down at me. "Well, sunshine, you've been practicing."

Pip stares down at me in awe for a second before clearing her face of any trace of astonishment and muttering something about "animal" and "doggy style" which Kieran snarls at before spreading his large wings and taking off.

I follow him and fly next to him. The icy wind ruffles my feathers and my wings cleave through it as I soar through the skies of the Night Court. My newly enhanced hawk eyes watch everything below me with a sharp clarity. I see the farms and the small settlements more clearly.

I watch Kieran as he flies next to me. He seems so content to have the winds hitting his face and rustling his hair. The sun shines down on his wings making the usual dark, leathery skin shine a warm red color. Kieran looks over and catches me staring.

"Are you checking me out, sunshine?" He calls out with a smirk. Pip, who's a little far behind us, chuckles but stay quiet. 

I caw and try to see if I can send my thoughts down the bond, I've never actually been able to get it to work though, You wish, bat-brain. I clutch at the tether of soft, sweet darkness and night that binds me to him as I whisper it in my brain, hoping it works.

He chuckles deeply and says, "That was just uncalled for. Bat-brain, as if I am no smarter than a bat."

My eyes widen in surprise, You heard me?

He nods. "Good thing too. I was prepared to spend the rest of the evening teaching you how to do that. Now that you know how," He smirks darkly, "Well, we can spend our evening doing much more productive things."

I like the sound of that. I say huskily and watch as he trembles at the sound of my voice with the images I'm trying to send down with it; a slideshow of all our intimate endeavors rushes down the bond and when it's down I'm not sure which one of us is the more aroused.

And then Pip breaks through our cloud of lust by yelling, "Hey, what are you doing up there? It smells like a whorehouse around here." She eyes Kieran with sparkling amusement as she catches up to us and says, "Why Kieran, I had no idea you had a bird kink."

Kieran snarls lightly, but I can see him holding back a laugh.

She's just jealous that she won't get the chance to ruffle my gorgeous feathers. I quip down the bond.

Kieran laughs so loudly that I swear I see a mountain near us shake and Pip joins in though she has no idea what he's laughing at. And that's when we enter Velaris.

We fly to the House of Wind to find . . .

Nesta. Waiting on the balcony. I don't think hawks can groan, but the noise I made when I saw her was pretty damn close.


	18. Part 17

Kieran

We land on the balcony in front of my aunt who stands with a glower and crossed arms. I step forward to hug her and she hugs me back for a second before stepping back and looking over us with an impressive scowl.

Her voice is cold and sharp, but her eyes are warm and filled with relief, when she says, "You were supposed to be back hours ago."

I sigh, "I know, Aunt Nesta, but Lena has to do this quest without me so I wanted her to at least have someone with her."

My aunt turns her scowl away from me and over to the two girls. Pip stands up straighter and narrows her eyes while Lena, now in her Fae form, looks down and twists her fingers around each other in a nervous tic of hers.

"Penelope will be accompanying Lena?" Nesta asks with a softer tone.

I nod and she lets out a breath of relief. "Good," Lena looks up with wide eyes and Nesta straightens and her strict tone returns, "Well, Cass wanted to go with her and now he doesn't have to." But I see a twinkle of warmth and kindness in her eyes that says that she's relieved that Lena won't be alone. Maybe Lena is thawing my frosty aunt out bit by bit.

"Cass was going to go with me?" Lena asks with a perplexed expression that creases her forehead.

"He was going to try. He's really fond of you . . . " Nesta mutters. "But I don't want him leaving for so long." She whispers, "Not now." as one of her hands finds its way to her stomach to rub circles on it.

Pip raises a brow before saying, "Well, I would really like to eat. Get a nice little nap and then go to that bar, " She makes a frustrated sound, "Oh, what was it? Reba's?"

I shake my head with a chuckle, "Rita's?"

She snaps her fingers and nods. "That's it! Rita's. Maybe I'll find a one-nighter to tide me over for a while."

Lena's brow scrunches for a second while she considers Pip's words before her mouth forms a wide 'O' and she blushes scarlet. "Oh. Have . . . fun with that, Pip. I think I'm gonna go inside." And she rushes off the balcony and probably off to find Cassian.

"So, K, did you tell her about - "

I shake my head quickly. "No."

Pip rolls her eyes. "You need to tell her."

"It's not something she needs to know. It's in the past and she knows I have a history with females."

"She's never actually met one of those females, has she?"

I shake my head harshly and bite my tongue long enough to keep me from saying something I'll regret. "No."

"K, you'll regret it if she finds out from anyone other than you, especially if she finds out from me."

My head whips to her as images of a devastated or hurt Lena flicker in my mind. "You won't tell her."

"She needs to know who she's traveling with."

"She'll be really hurt. She'll probably be jealous of you too."

Pip raises a brow and tilts her head. "Why? She has you. Completely."

Memories of all the times that Lena has decided that she isn't worth it, she's not the one I want, or that I couldn't possibly want her when there are so many other females out there fly through my mind. "She . . . Lena has issues with thinking that she's not good enough. No matter how many times I convince her otherwise."

Pip smiles slightly. "Then you just need to convince her again. If you tell her . . . she'll trust you a little bit more." She sighs and adds a brighter smile to her face. "Well, I'm going to Rita's. You should talk to your mate." And with that she takes off and in less than a minute she's just a dark blot in the sky.

Lena

"C'mon tiny, I know you can hit harder than that!" Cass exclaims after I punch him in the gut and he doesn't even falter.

I punch again, this time going for his shoulder, and he sighs, "Maybe you can't."

A burning anger sears through my veins and this time when I punch him I hit his jaw and I hear a small crack as he staggers back a step. 

My hands cover my mouth as I realize that I might have broken his jaw and start rambling, "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. Is it okay? Did I hurt you too much? Is it broken? I'm so - "

He cuts me off with laughter loud enough to bring a mountain down. "Tiny, you hit me. You didn't kill me. I've had worse than a little crack to my jaw."

"So - So I didn't break it?" I stutter worriedly. The last thing I need to break the jaw of one of my only friends.

He smiles softly. "Tiny, you're one of a kind."

"Uncle, may I steal my mate away for a little bit?" Kieran's mirthful voice echoes from the door and we both look at him to find he leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest and . . . he doesn't look as happy as his voice; he looks sad and I can see regret in his eyes.

"Sure," Cass jokingly punches my shoulder before continuing, "Though you might want to watch yourself. Make her angry and she might break your jaw."

I huff and grumble, "I wasn't meaning to." before heading to Kieran.

Kieran grabs my hand and starts walking us to the balcony. "Where are we going?"

"Back to the townhouse. I thought we could talk." He picks me up and spreads his wings before flying away from the balcony and zooming towards the townhouse.

"What do we need to talk about?" I ask warily. The way he said 'talk' reminds me of the way he says 'Tamlin', with dislike and regret.

"There's just something I need to tell you." He says and something flares in his eyes that makes me want to jump out of his arms and run away from this talk because I know it's going to be something I won't like.

But I don't jump out his arms and I don't run away, instead I whisper into his mind, I hope you 'talk' is you telling me that you're giving me a puppy.

I feel his chest shuddering against my back and I watch his face to find that he's chuckling and a little bit of light has entered his mind. Would you like a puppy, sunshine?

Who wouldn't like a puppy?

I see mirth rising in a smile that spreads across his face. Pip, she's allergic to dogs.

Now that's just sad.

I've always thought so too.

Then he lands on the balcony connected to his room and his smile disappears and his shoulders tense as he puts me down, placing me on feet.

I stroll over to the bed and sit with my legs crossed.

He starts pacing in front of the bed. He looks at me then looks back to his feet or the floor or the wall or anything but me. This continues for ten minutes of silence before I say, "Have you gone mute?"

He raises a brow. "Um . . . no."

"Well, we came here to talk and you are . . . not talking. And it's really making me nervous." The last part comes out as a rushed whisper that he's not meant to hear but he stills does.

"Okay, so, Pip thought it was best that I tell you the uh . . . nature of our relationship."

That doesn't sound good. "Continue."

He sighs and runs a shaking hand through his hair. "We met when I was fifteen. She was seventeen then and we became fast friends. Really fast friends. Probably because she's the only person that didn't want to bow and praise at me or didn't want to kill me for being the heir; she just really didn't care about it at all."

"Okay . . . " I don't see where this is going.

"Well, you remember how I told you about Illyrians having . . . urges when they're teenagers?"

Fucking and fighting and he did a lot of . . . "You had sex with Pip!" I yell in surprise.

He freezes for a second before nodding. "Yeah . . . " I stand up outraged, but he keeps talking, "It wasn't supposed to happen! We were both really young, really horny, and really drunk. In my drunk mind, she was the only female who didn't throw herself at me so I found that to be a challenge; I mean, I still slept with the one's that threw - " He stops wide-eyed and looks at me, "Shit! I didn't mean to say that. This is all coming out wrong."

"Okay, so I don't remember it. Pip and I, neither does she. Like I said, we were really drunk. We only know it happened because we woke up naked together. I don't remember it and I don't want to. I'll regret it forever and I'm only telling you because you probably should know if you're going to be traveling with her and . . . she told me too."

He stops talking and watches me, my reaction, but I don't know what I'm supposed to be feeling right now. Betrayal? It's not like he slept with her while he was with her. He didn't even know me then. Anger? Jealousy? Neither is going to take back what they did and it's not going to make me feel better or help our relationship, though that irrational jealousy and fear of not being wanted or good enough rears up and I try to choke it down, but I can't and he feels it through the bond.

He rushes towards me and pulls me into a tight hug. "You have no reason to be jealous or scared. I am yours completely. Every piece of me."

I sigh. "I know. I know and that's what makes me feel worse. Because I know that I have you and I still have those horrible feelings and I can't stop them or shove them down." I mumble.

"We'll work on that, sunshine." He wraps his arms tighter around me. "We'll work on it when you come back to me."

"Okay."

He steps back. "Now, what do you want to do before you leave me all alone tomorrow?"

"Get a puppy?" I ask jokingly.

"How about we save that for when you get back?"

I fake a huff, "Fine . . . " I smile as an idea comes to mind. "Remember when I first got here and we danced in the artist's quarter?"

He smiles and his eyes twinkle. "Of course."

"Would you like to go dancing?" I ask and bite my lip while waiting for his answer.

"Always, sunshine."

\-----

"I'm - I'm going to miss you, tiny." Cass mumbles as he pulls me into a tight hug. 

"I'll miss you too, Cass."

He steps back quickly and I see him wipe at his face right under his eyes before clearing his throat and saying, "Now, you come back. I'm not done beating you in training yet."

"Maybe when I get back I'll be the one beating you."

He chuckles. "Not likely, tiny." He turns away and walks to Nesta who's not even glaring at me.

The twins hug me tightly before running off the play tag or some other children's game.

Elain pulls me into a hug with surprising strength coming from her. "You'll find him. I've seen you find him. He looks so much like you."

"Thanks for the help." I mutter because I have no idea what else to say.

Az smiles and nods a goodbye. Not much of a hugger I guess.

"Lena, you have to be back by Starfall." Feyre says as she comes up to me and grabs my shoulders to look me in the eye. "It's in the spring. You need to be back by then, or at least stop by for a visit. I think Kieran's looking forward to it."

"Mom!" Kieran exclaims from his spot in front of the door.

"Oh, hush." She orders him. "Now, Lena, you will come back."

"Of course."

"Feyre darling, I think it's time that Kieran says his goodbyes." Rhys says and Feyre nods.

I make my way to Kieran and he manages a slight smile. "Last night I thought I'd be prepared for this . . . but I'm not." He grabs my hand and raises it to his lips, placing a sweet kiss on my soft skin.

He opens his mouth to speak again before shaking his head and closing his mouth and mind-speaking to me, I don't want the others to hear our goodbyes. Talk to me. Through the bond, at least once a day. Or I will come and get you and pull you away from this crazy quest whether your father likes it or not. I just need to know that you're okay.

I was going to do that anyways, bat-brain. I need to make sure you're okay as much as you need to make sure I'm okay.

I feel tears start to leak down my cheeks and he leans down and kisses them away, Don't cry while you're away either because this is my job. I don't want Pip kissing your tears away.

I'll try, but I can't promise anything.

Promise you'll come back?

"That I can promise." I whisper and he rushes towards me and pulls me into a kiss that starts out sweet and turns into a passionate goodbye. Tongues and teeth clash against each other until I pull away with my hands knotted in his hair. "I have to go."

He sighs and steps away as my hands fall to my sides. "I know." He looks down and I see him struggling with letting me go but he clears his throat and looks up with a strained smile. "Don't let Pip take you to any 'fun' places. You'll end up in a strip club."

Pip sighs dramatically and smiles at him fondly. "That was one time, K. Get over it. Besides, Lena is too precious of a flower for me to take in one of those places."

He smiles sadly and nods. "Yes, she is."

And he winnows away, leaving me with a gaping hole in my heart.

"All right, L, it's time to go." Pip says as she leaves the house and jumps into flight on the lawn. I follow her example and shift into a bird as soon as my feet leave the ground.

We quickly fly away from Velaris, the City of Starlight. I watch as the bright colors of the city I've come to love and think of as home disappear and the hole in my heart grows with every flap of my wings. This is different from when Kieran was flying around the Night Court with Rhys and learning how to be a High Lord. We were separated, but it wasn't for a long time and I always knew he'd be coming back and soon. I'm going to be away from him for what could be months. And who knows if I'll actually be coming back.


	19. Part 19

Lena

Pip lands a few feet away from me in a clearing that we saw from the sky. She looks around unimpressed before sitting our bags on the ground at her feet as I shift back into my human form and try to manage my wind-mangled hair - note to self: even if I fly as a bird the wind will still ruffle my hair.

"Where do we go first?" She asks.

I shrug, like I would know. I have a list of names and Courts; it's not like he gave me town names and directions to each town.

"Wonderful." She comments dryly.

"Where would you go if you had a High Lord's long lost love child?" I mutter to myself.

"A small town or a really big city." Pip answers my non-question.

I shrug and say, "All right. Lead the way."

Pip grabs two small objects out of our packs before tossing one of the objects and the packs to me. I manage to catch the small object but not the pack. I wince as I hear a small crack as the pack hits a large rock behind me.

"Way to go." Pip says while trying not to laugh.

"I can't catch two things at once." I mumble as I look at the object in my hand. It's a pair of glasses but in dark shades rather than clear.

"Sunglasses. Probably a good idea for the Day Court." Pip says while putting her sunglasses on.

"We're not in Night Court anymore," I say as I look up at the sun and wince away. Yup. Sunglasses are a great idea to combat a sun that glows so bright it could blind a human with a single glance; it's only the dead of winter and their sun is bright and warm, I can't imagine how bright it would be in the summer.

I quickly put my own sunglasses on and walk a few feet back to grab my once-new now beaten backpack.

Once I've slung the backpack on my shoulders, Pip nods and starts walking at a pace that's more of a jog. Pip has really long legs - she's gotta be like 5'10 or 5'11 - and I have really short legs - I'm like 5'3 or 5'4 - so it's really unfair for her to be the one setting the pace, but I follow along without complaint until my thighs burn, my feet ache, and I start to contemplate the idea of turning into a lioness so I could eat Pip. It doesn't help that she keeps humming show tunes out of key.

I finally stop and yell, "Enough!" when she hits a really high note really wrong and it sort of sounds like the yowl of a dying cat.

She turns around with a smirk. "You lasted three hours with my humming. That's two and a half hours longer than K."

"Well, jeez, that last note was enough to break my eardrums."

She tilts her head to the side before nodding, "Yeah, that one was a little over the top." She starts walking again before saying, "Well, good news, we're almost to a big city."

"How do you know that?" I ask. Not that I'm doubting her navigational skills, but . . . yeah, I'm doubting her navigational skills. She's a bastard-born Illyrian who's been on kitchen duty since the Blood Rite; it's not like she's had much of an experience outside of the Night Court, hell, she's barely been out of her camp and Velaris.

"I see the tops of buildings through the trees."

"Oh." I mumble.

We hurry through the rest of the forest and look at the city spread out in front of us. Tropical houses with balconies and golden tiled roofs. Palm trees line walkways and flowering plants grow along the sides of buildings.

The sun shines down more brightly here than it did in the forest and I feel sweat beading at my neck and down my chest. "Can we change?"

Pip nods and I see the sweat dripping down her forehead as she pulls some things out of her pack and walks behind a tree. I pull my pack around and grab a sundress and some sandals out. After walking behind a tree of my own, I quickly change out the sweater, pants, and boots that I put on back in Night. I pull the dress over my head and strap the sandals on my feet.

I quickly stow away my used clothes before walking back out in the hot afternoon sun. Pip looks at me and frowns, "You're wearing a dress."

"It's a sundress," I point out. "For sunny days." I add as I point up at the sun.

"This is for sunny days too." I look over her outfit and find that's she's wearing shorts and a sleeveless top.

"But it's not as cute." I sing in a high tone.

She rolls her eyes before walking away and towards the city. I follow a few paces behind her and as we walk in silence I manage to send a thought to Kieran. 

We made it to Day Court. We're not sure where to find these women but we'll give it our best shot.

I feel relief flood the bond and he sends back, Ask around. Someone is bound to know the names. Remember to be safe though.

Of course. I send back and stop as Pip pauses in front of a shop.

"What is it, Pip?"

She looks back at me with a pensive look. "If I were a High Lord in a foreign Court I wouldn't sleep with a random girl off the streets; it would take too long to find a willing girl who doesn't have a partner and would actually do it with a random stranger . . . so where else would I go?"

I stare back with a furrowed brow before the thought pops into my head and I nearly choke as the words come out of my house. "A strip club or a whorehouse." I say unsure, but Pip nods.

"Like this one." She says as she points to the building she paused in front of and I finally notice what it is . . . Mistress Misty's Brothel.

"Do - Do we have to go in there?" I stutter.

Pip nods. "It's the first place we should look."

I bite my lip before nodding. "All right."

Pip opens the door and holds it for me as I walk in before she walks in behind me. I gasp as I look around and see the unabashed intimacy that covers every open spot of this building. Men and women, women and women, men and men, three or four people at a time . . . geez. Large beds are built into the walls and if you want a more private arena to play in you could probably join your partner through one of the doors that line the walls and probably lead to more . . . private rooms. A cacophony of moans and groans plays through the room like the businesses personal symphony.

Pip doesn't seem to be bothered by any of it; in fact, she winks and eyes most of the men and women as they pass her by. Most wink back. She strolls confidently through the room with a sway to her hips and a devil on her shoulder while I stumble along behind her and try not to look up from the floor because every time I do I blush.

Pip sighs when she looks back at me and notices that I'm meekly following behind her. She strolls back to me and looks down at me and says, "Lena, I know this isn't your scene, but you need to stop looking like you're going to spontaneously combust."

"I don't mean to. I'm just not used to this."

Her eyes become kinder for a second before she says, "Try. Look up. Look around. After awhile you don't notice it. If you get nervous just remember to picture everybody naked."

My eyes widen as I whisper-yell, "Everybody is already naked."

Pip looks around before nodding, "Well . . . just . . . I don't know. Look up. Just stop watching your feet."

"My feet are easier to look at than all of this." I gesture around wildly, attracting the attention of a few of the patrons of this business.

"Oh my gosh." Pip mutters before saying, "Okay, just pick a wall and look at it."

Considering beds are embedded - pun intended - in the walls I don't think that will work, but I decide to swallow and nod. "Fine."

Pip turns and keeps walking while I keep my eyes straight on the back of her head, avoiding the wanton displays of intimacy surrounding us. Pip walks right through the crowds and straight towards an aging woman with silver-streaked red hair and deep creases surrounding her eyes, even in her later years this woman is beautiful and . . . human.

Pip doesn't hold her hand out to the lady. She goes straight for a hug as she calls out, "Mist!"

"Penny!" The woman squeals and hugs her back tightly. "I haven't seen you in ages!"

Pip pulls back and says, "It's only been a year."

I sidle up next to them and clasp my hands in front of me to twiddle my fingers nervously. "So you two know each?" I ask casually.

Pip looks over to me and says, "I like to take breaks from the Illyrian camp every once in a while and nobody notices when a bastard," the woman, Mist, winces at the term, "disappears. Last year I came here." That doesn't explain how she's so friendly with this - "For like two months."

"Oh." I look at Mist, at her rounded ears and the aging of her face - a human trait - "And you're a human living here . . . in Prythian?"

She smirks, "Was it the ears or the wrinkles that gave me away?"

I'm not entirely sure if either is an acceptable answer so I just shrug meekly and mutter, "Nice place you have here."

"I like it well enough." She says looking proudly around her lascivious establishment. "Pip likes it even more." She adds, sending a sly glance at Pip whose eyes are focused on a passing female and her . . . generous backside. When Pip's eyes land back on Mist, the woman asks her, "So what are you doing here?"

"We're on a quest."

The human's eyes light up. "A quest . . . can I help?"

"Actually yes," I say as I hold out the list of Day Court females that my father couldn't keep his hands off of. "Do you know any of these females?"

The woman regards the list and her eyebrows lift a few times as she surveys the names. When her eyes find mine again she says, "A few of them are here and I'll ask them to come see you if you wait around here for a bit . . . but the others I don't know who they are."

"All right. Thanks for the help."

The woman walks away leaving Pip and I standing in the middle of her establishment.

"So . . . " I start, "Did you and her ever - "

"No." Pip cuts me off with an amused glance. "Mist is just a really good f - fuck." She says as her eyes widen while she stares off behind me.

"I thought you were just friends . . . friends don't - ."

"No!" She cuts me off. Her eyes aren't focused on me as she speaks again, "That male . . . fuck. He's attractive . . . " I have a feeling that with the husk that's taken place in her voice isn't from him being just 'attractive'.

I turn around and face the direction of her gaze.

And sitting in a chair a few feet away with males and females surrounding him is the handsome High Lord of Day Court.

"Those thighs . . . " Pip makes a soft growl of approval as Helion plants his heels on the table and his powerful thighs are revealed as his mid-thigh length toga slides a few inches down.

"That is Helion." I say and her eyebrows raise.

"That's the High Lord of the Day Court?"

"Yup." I pop my 'p'.

"Damn. Are all the High Lords and Ladies attractive? I mean, Rhysand and Feyre are, well, you don't want me to finish that thought. But damn."

"Would you like to meet him?" I ask carefully, measuring my words.

Pip smirks. "Of course."

We walk over and Helion smiles widely at us. He stands and looks us over. "Tamlin's precious little girl in a brothel, what a sight to see."

His golden eyes wander over to Pip and stay on her. They make their way down her body and back up. Then down again. And back up.

He reaches a hand out at the same that she does. Their hands meet and he lifts hers to press a kiss against the back of it.

His lips lift in a soft smile as he says, "You know, they say you're not supposed to touch masterpieces, but I've always been a rule-breaker."

I think Pip actually melts. Her smile becomes sweet instead of sassy and her hand shakes as she retracts it from Helion's. But her voice is still husky and full of lust when she says, "I could say the same thing."

They stare at each other intently and the silent tension between them builds and builds until . . . I start to shuffle my feet awkwardly and try to keep my eyes from darting between them.

"Here are the females." Mist says as she approaches us with four beautiful Fae, interrupting the intimate moment between the two Fae in front of me.

"Oh, thank the Cauldron." I murmur as the two of them blink away their desire and turn to Mist with wide smiles.

"Did I interrupt something?" Mist asks, glancing between the two.

"Yes," She looks apologetic at first then I add, "And thank you for it."

Pip and Helion both look at me with affronted looks. "You guys were weirding me out."


	20. Part 20

Kieran

I miss her. I see her everywhere. The sun is golden like her hair. The grass is green like her eyes. The music in the Rainbow reminds me of her lovely voice. It's like I'm missing a hand or something - I keep finding things I could use the hand for and realize that I can't use it. At least I know she'll come back to me soon and she'll be safe; Pip would never let anything happen to Lena.

Uncle Cassian misses her too. He walked into the training room with a smile earlier and it vanished when he remembered that he wasn't training her, that she isn't here. I asked him if he was okay and he said, "Yeah fine, just wishing Tiny were here to punch me." Me too, Uncle Cass. Me too.

Well, minus the punching.

My dad seems to be going easy on me. He isn't mentioning taking a trip to the Court of Nightmares or inspecting some of the Illyrian war camps. He just keeps asking me to go to random places around Velaris, like the Rainbow or the docks, to inspect the quality of living and business. I just find more things to mope about: a dark painting, a disgusting fish, a wrongly-sewed jacket, etc.

Hopefully, Aunt Mor will cheer me up at dinner; she's bringing her new girlfriend. 

I look over the view in front of me and sigh. The view from the roof of the House of Wind is really the only thing that can relax me when I'm this mopey, mainly because it's beautiful with Velaris spread out before it and on one side a sparkling sea and the other side a picturesque view of the forested mountains with their glistening snow.

"You know she's coming back, right?" A little bell-like voice questions from behind me and I turn to find Stella staring at me with curiosity in her blue-grey eyes.

"Of course." I answer with only a slight beat of reluctance.

She catches the slight beat.

Stella takes a seat on the ledge right next to me. "She would be foolish not to."

"Would she?"

Stella nods. "You're the best male in the world." She says with bright eyes before whispering, "Besides Daddy, of course."

"Aedon isn't included in the 'best male in the world' contest?" I ask with a smirk.

She starts giggling. "No!" Through her giggles she adds, "He's not big yet."

"Don't tell him that." I look at her conspiratorially, "You'll ruin his self-confidence."

We both hear a voice down our familial bond saying, Hey! Someone's talking about me behind my back.

She starts giggling as chuckles burst out of my mouth.

Aedon shouts, Stop it! Is it Stella? I bet it's Stella. She's always talking behind my back.

Stella straightens immediately. I do not!

You do too, powder princess!

I do not, knucklehead!

Her face screws up in anger and her cheeks turn red when Aedon shouts down the bond, You can't wait to talk bad about me any chance you get, you frilly fritter!

Frilly fritter? I've never heard that used as an insult, but when I look over to Stella I see that her hands are scrunched in tiny fists, her normally tan knuckles turning white.

Wanna fight?

To restore my honor after you have slandered my good name? Of course!

Cauldron, you say stuff like that and I'm the frilly fritter? Is the last thing I hear before Stella winnows away.

I shake my head at the twins antics. I love them but sometimes they're worse than children . . . wait, they are children. What's worse than children? Ducks . . . They're worse than ducks.

"I hope my children are like you and your siblings." I hear another voice sneaking up on me. Why can I not sit on the roof in private? I mean for real. It's a roof. Not much to do up here.

Aunt Nesta sits next to me while clutching her stomach - something I've noticed her doing a lot lately. "You're great with them, especially Stella."

"She's my baby sister, they're my baby siblings. I try to be great with them."

"They adore you, Kieran." Aunt Nesta's face takes a soft turn and her smile becomes fond. "Aedon looks up to you; he wants to be like you. And Stella, well . . . " She trails off for a second before continuing, "You are both forces of nature, but you bend to her will completely."

I nod. Everyone bends to Stella. Honestly, IF father and mother ever die - Cauldron bless them - then I don't know who will actually get the High Lord's power. Me or Stella.

Probably Stella. She's far more powerful than I was at her age.

"Stella was right. She'll come back."

Those words out of Aunt Nesta's mouth automatically make me suspicious. Nesta hates Lena . . . right? "Why do you care?" I ask, not unkindly. "You hate Lena."

She's silent for a long time. "I don't hate her." She whispers so quietly I barely hear her. "I never hated her. I just didn't trust her. You know how I am. It's even worse now." She rubs her stomach again and her voice is soft as she says, " I have something very important to protect now."

Her words hit me. Her rubbing her stomach hits me. Everything hits me. "You're pregnant?"

She nods and I see little tears of joy sparkling in her eyes. "Yeah."

"Does Uncle Cass know yet?"

She nods again. "Of course, it was the only thing that convinced him to stay here with me rather than go with Lena. You know how he adores her. She's like a sister or a daughter to him." She smiles widely. "It makes me happy to think that if he can treat a complete stranger so kindly then how he'll treat our child must be . . . wow."

"He's going to be so protective if it's a girl. She'll never have a date. Ever."

Aunt Nesta laughs. "Isn't that how it's going to be for poor Stella?"

"Well, of course. But knowing her, she manage a way to get to her date anyways."

That's when I feel a mixture of supreme embarrassment and disappointment down the bond, Lena, you okay?

Helion and Pip are flirting with each other. I'm in the middle of a brothel. None of the girls have children by my father. And Pip will not let us leave unless we stay the night with Helion. Well, unless she stays the night with Helion. In his bed.

As long as you stay out of his bed then you might as well.

I don't know. Are you sure you trust me to resist his mighty thighs and searing gold eyes? She asks with a hint of mischief.

I snarl and Aunt Nesta raises her brows before getting up and walking away.

Cauldron take his thighs! Besides mine are better.

Of course they are.

Lena

"Pip!" I yell and she quickly jumps away from Helion. "We're staying with him for the night, but we've got to be leaving in the morning to find the rest of the Day females." The ones here remembering my father and gave accounts of his . . . prowess - I did not need to hear them - but none had children, except one though after a thorough look over I decided the child in no way possible could be my father's - the scales of a lesser fae gave it away.

Pip smiles excitedly before containing it in a confident shrug. "Of course. No problem."

"You'll be done by then?" I muster out and she laughs.

"Of course. Though I might want to go back for seconds. Or thirds." She says saucily while licking her lips.

I gag.

Helion walks over to us and holds out both his hands. "Ready to go?"

I look around the bawdy establishment surrounding me and almost shake my head. Helion is known for his blatant enjoyment of erotic things . . . will his castle be worse than this? Who knows. So I nod and take his hand at the same time as Pip.

He winnows us to his castle and I have to hold on to a nearby pillar to steady myself.

Helion looks concerned and starts to call for a healer when Pip says, "It's quite all right. She gets sick after winnowing all the time. At least that's what Kieran told me."

I nod and straighten myself. Taking a big breath of fresh air, "Yeah, I always get sick when doing that."

I start to breathe steadily and everything seems to straighten itself. So I look around to find that there are no walls separating the halls from the open air. We're a few stories up and it's like a balcony except I know it's meant to be a hall.

And the floor is glass.

I shriek as I look down and see no floor. Nothing for miles down.

"Ah, yes. The floor is see through. Do not worry. It won't break, I promise." Helion says, jumping up and down harshly to prove his point. "We made it this way so the sun could shine through." All the ceilings and floors are made of glass."

I open my mouth to point out how there's not much privacy in that but Helion catches my train of thought immediately, "Don't worry about privacy either. We have some rooms that are not see through."

"I would like to request one of those rooms." I say immediately.

Helion holds back a smirk. "Of course." He turns to Pip. "And the mistress Penelope?"

Pip, being utterly Pipish, says, "I'm no prude. Give me any room you wish."

I send a withering glare her way. I'm not a prude. I just don't want to give everyone in this castle a free peep show. I wouldn't even give them a paid-for peep show.

Helion opens his mouth to speak, but someone else's voice cascades down the hall. A young male with dark tan skin and auburn hair walks over to us saying, "Father, I realize that you need to have your fun, everybody does, but I do wish you would tell someone before you go off gallivanting . . . and I've interrupted something." The male looks over Pip and I and I notice that one of his eyes . . . isn't an eye. It's a hunk of whirling gold.

Lucien. Her father's most trusted and loyal friend until the fox betrayed him and helped Feyre escape back to the Night Court.

Lucien's eyes stop on me and he goes completely rigid. "Are you . . . "

"Tamlin's daughter, Rosalena." I answer for him.

He nods absentmindedly. "Yeah. You look like him. Same eyes. Same hair."

"Yes."

"I'm sorry."

That's not what I expected to hear.

"Sorry for what?"

"I didn't know about what he had been doing to you until after that meeting - my father told me about it. I knew that his anger sometimes ruled his decisions, but I never knew that he would hurt his own daughter. If I had, I would have done something. I swear."

The genuine concern in his eyes and the sad twist to his mouth makes me believe him so I nod.

"What are you doing here?"

"Looking for my brother."

He shakes his head. "You're not going to find him here. Or the Spring Court. Or Autumn, or Dawn."

"How would you know?"

"I was your father's best friend. I made sure to check on the females that he . . . had interactions with after a few months to make sure they weren't with child. But I couldn't check all the Courts. Summer and Winter are the two I was never able to . . . check back in. The previous High Lord of Summer didn't like me all that much for some reason and I really hate Winter. It's too cold there for me."

"Thanks. That narrows the search down considerably."

I start to turn back to Helion when Lucien says, "There's one other thing."

"Yes?" His voice instantly makes me cautious. What else could there be?

"In Hybern. When we were allies, when he was Hybern's ally, there was a female. He got very drunk and he was missing Feyre and he was very horny. This female looked a bit like Feyre. Same body type, light brown hair, blue eyes. It was a close enough to a drunk Tamlin so he slept with her. I was never able to go back there to check the female, but she could - "

"She could be the one."

He nods. "If Summer and Winter don't pan out . . . be prepared to go to Hybern."

I nod.

I turn back to Helion and Pip to find them making out against one of the walls.

"Pip." I groan at the same time that Lucien yells, "Dad!"

They both jump away but neither looks sheepish.

"Little Lena, you should probably go get some sleep." Pip says while biting her lip and urging me to leave.

Helion looks at Lucien. "Why don't you take her, son?"

Lucien and I look at each other. Nod. Then scramble away from them and towards a door.

We don't get far enough because we still hear Helion rumble, "What do you want me to do to you?"

And Pip answer, "Everything."

And that's when the moans start and I turn tomato red while Lucien gags. "Let's get the hell out of here. Would you like some dinner?"

I nod. And this time, I'm okay with someone winnowing me away.


	21. Part 21

Lena

Lucien is a walking fairy tale. I've heard stories about him from Feyre, Elain, and the villagers of Spring, but seeing him now . . . speaking with him . . . I don't see how a male like him could ever have been friends with my father, how a male like him could have been best friends with a male like my father.

"Is your father always like that?" I ask while we wait for our food to be brought to us.

He laughs. "Oh yes, he's a very salacious male." He says before muttering, "He has quite an appetite."

"Not for food though."

He chuckles lightly. "Yes, not for food. Why do you think I have so many brothers and sisters?"

My brows raise in surprise. "I didn't know you had any other than the ones by your mother."

"My father has a few children. All scurrying about. Varying ages. But he acknowledges and is kind to all of them, unlike the father I grew up with." Ah, yes, Beron. The father that was about as bad as mine, probably worse. Maybe equally.

Our food comes and we start scarfing it down like starved wolves. I had ordered a steak with roasted garlic potatoes and green beans and I couldn't be more pleased with the food that landed in front of me. The steak is tender and juicy, peppery spices dance through my mouth with each bite I take. The potatoes are even better; they make my mouth water as their garlicky goodness slides down my throat. 

The green beans though . . . I grimace as I taste them - not because they're bad - because they make me think of Kieran. He hates green beans with a passion. If they were the last edible things in the world, he wouldn't eat them. A sharp pain flickers down the bond at the thought of him, funny how a cluster of green beans can make me miss someone more than anything.

Lucien raises a brow at me, my face is probably tightly drawn into a morose fixture. "You miss him?"

I nod slowly. "I do. He's my mate." A flicker of pain crosses his own face and I remember that he has been separated from his mate for years while she loves and lives with another. "It is inevitable: the pain, the sadness, the feeling that you've lost an arm or a leg . . . " I say slowly, wondering if he'll keep the conversation going or change the topic quickly in an effort to avoid a topic that sure to be painful.

He answers as if it was a question, which it sort of was, "Yes." He has stopped eating and instead watches the ground or the people milling about around us. "Yes, it is. And it never stops. It probably never will." He's whispering now, "I don't know how she deals with it. I don't know how anyone can ever deal with it."

So Elain might be over Lucien, but Lucien is definitely not over Elain. I wonder if their parting was actually in consensus or if maybe Lucien loved, and still loves, Elain enough to leave her so she could be happy, even if it was with someone else.

"Do you wish you'd made a different choice? Back when you both agreed to call it off." I blurt out the question before I can stop myself and I wish I had a better impulse control when I see the pain flickering on his face.

He stays quiet. He stays quiet for so long that I don't think he's going to answer and resign myself to the fate of an unanswered question, a story with an unfinished end, but then he opens his mouth and three words fly into my ears, "Every single day." and it's barely a whisper.

His eyes meet mine though and they're clear when he says, "But she deserves to be happy and be with the person she loves rather than being stuck with someone the fates tie her to."

"I think that's the best possible answer you could have given."

He smiles as he shakes away the sadness, "Well, I have been known to give out great answers. Why do you think your father kept me around for so long?"

"Because no one else could bear to be around him?" I ask nonchalantly.

A look of mixed concerned and guilt spreads across his face. "He wasn't always a terrible person."

I shrug, having already heard all the tales of how my father wasn't always a 'terrible' person. "That's what makes it worse."

He nods in agreement and the rest of our dinner passes in silence.

Kieran

"Stella, stop squirming." I command as I try to braid my wriggling little sister's hair. She wouldn't let anyone else braid her hair. Her hair being a wild mass of thick, inky black waves doesn't help me in my quest to make a stylish fixture.

"But it tickles." She says in a soft voice. "And this dress is so tight! Why can I not wear trousers like you and Aedon? I can scarcely breathe."

Pity overtakes me and I almost say, "Sure, go put on a pair of pants just to shake things up." then I remember that this is a formal meeting of Mor's new girlfriend and none of Stella's pants are nice enough to wear to an Illyrian war camp, let alone a formal dinner. "Sorry, firefly, we have to dress nicely. Maybe if you didn't destroy all your nice pants, you would have something to wear."

Her little ears turn red with anger and her lightly speckled freckles disappear as her face scrunches.

And I smell smoke.

I drop her hair to find the hem of her silken hair is on fire.

Fire. A gift that she is not supposed to have. Fire. The gift that she's always claimed she doesn't have because she already has a few of the powers that were passed down to us. My sister is more powerful than even I realized. If she has fire, as well as the other gifts that she's claimed, maybe she has more. Maybe she has them all. Maybe she's more powerful than our mother and father combined.

Seeing the hem of her dress turning into ash spurs me into action.

"Stella, Stella," She looks at me and I see a bit of panic in her eyes. I remember the feeling from when my powers first manifested. The feeling of panic as my anger grew out of control and my own fire burned away everything in it's path; well, it tried to. Mother and father calmed me down before I could do any serious damage. "Calm down. Firefly, calm down." I stroke her messy hair. "The panic only makes it worse. Imagine something you love, something that brings you peace, like flying through the night sky."

She nods and closes her eyes before taking a deep breath and I use our familial bond to link my mind with hers to see what she's seeing. And I was right. Flying through the night sky. She's crafted her vision perfectly too. The night sky is dark and clear while the stars are bright alongside the moon. The wind rustles her hair as her wings slice through the warm, summer air.

Her eyes open and I see no panic in the blue-gray orbs that stare back at me, just peace, then an odd sort of confusion enters her eyes. "Don't tell anyone." She pleads. "Please, don't tell anyone."

I sit back startled. "Don't tell anyone? My baby sister is going around igniting fires and Cauldron knows what else and she wants me to keep it quiet! How long has this been going on?"

She answers quietly, "Two years." and it breaks my heart. Two years.

"You need proper training! This little episode just proves that!" I'm shouting now and she quickly shushes me.

"Then you can train me. You have a handle on your magic, especially fire, more than anyone else I know." I blush as the thought of how much of a handle I have on my fire magic crosses my mind and what I've been able to do with that magic with Lena.

I almost say no. I almost deny my own abilities. But she's staring at me with those wide eyes and pouted lips and I've never been able to say no to her before so . . . "Just tell me why you don't want anyone else to know."

Her eyes lower until she's looking at her burned hem. "You are the heir to the Night Court. You. And yet . . . I have all these powers, more than you. I shouldn't. It's not right. I don't want to be the heir! And if they find out that I'm more powerful to you, no offense but I am, then I'll be the one training to be the High Lord - well, Lady in my case - and I don't want that."

I sigh and I see her point. She's a little girl and no little girl wants to spend all her time learning how to collect taxes correctly or any other thing that I'm sure I learned at some point. "At some point, you will have to tell them. Our parents, our family."

"Aedon knows."

I snort. "Of course Aedon knows. He's your twin. I just don't understand how he doesn't have the exact same amount of power as you."

"His powers have always been weaker than mine. I think I might have sort of stolen a lot of what was supposed to be his."

I nod distractedly as I ponder this. Maybe. Probably not though. I think she's just strong as hell all on her own.

"I'll train you." She smiles widely at me before I add, "But you will have to tell mother and father." She frowns. "After Starfall."

That should give her some time to figure things out.

"Fine." She grumbles then a smile lightens her face as she looks down at her dress. "My dress is ruined now . . . I suppose that means I can wear my trousers." She says before running out of the room.

Having fun over there? I smile as Lena's voice echoes through my mind.

My sister is crazy.

I'm sure that's what all big brothers say about their little sisters.

Oh yeah, definitely, but in my case it happens to be true. She's a little scoundrel too.

I almost hear her laughter bouncing around in my mind. Is she? 

Oh yes, and she knows just how to manipulate me too.

Let me guess, puppy eyes and a sad little pout?

How'd you guess?

She giggles. Do my puppy eyes and sad pouts work on you too?

I raise a brow before lowering it, knowing that she can't see my expression, No . . . don't even try it.

Because you'll cave to my every wish and desire?

Don't I already do that?

She doesn't answer, but I can practically see her smirk. So what are you doing tonight? I ask casually.

I had dinner with Lucien - by the way, he is so not over Elain - and after dinner retired early to my room. It's quite boring in here, but Helion and Pip are being quite . . . showy about their affections.

Helion and Pip? What the hell?

Did you really not see that coming? Pip isn't the most subtle Fae when it comes to her affections . . .

Never has been. She's very forward and confident about her affections.

I know. She walked right through a brothel without even blinking or blushing. I mean, geez. I could never do that.

Good. I love that blush of yours. It's very pretty.

She doesn't answer and after awhile I realize that she's fallen asleep so I whisper, Goodnight, sunshine, love you.

I thought I heard a sleepy, Love you too.

\-----

Dinner is not going as planned.

Mor's new girlfriend is either way too shy to talk to any of us or she's a bit of a snob. Because she is not talking to us at all and it's slightly annoying.

My mother seems to notice this too but she doesn't say anything about it instead she asks, "So, Kieran, how's Lena?"

I smile. "She's quite well." I sneak a peak at Elain before adding, "She had dinner with Lucien tonight."

Elain smiles. "And how is Lucien?"

"From what I gathered he's doing well."

"That's good. I do hope he visits soon." She says kindly and gets a faraway look in her eyes. She might love Azriel, but she will always care for Lucien.

"And Pip is doing well?" Azriel asks. He's always been fond of my bastard friend, he's tried giving her stuff over the years but she's never let him.

"Apparently her and Helion are doing very well." I say with a smirk.

Mor snorts and nearly spits out some of her wine. "No, really?" She smiles and shakes her head. "Helion and Pip . . . that is a match made in Hybern." And I am not sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing, but it definitely sounds right.


	22. Part 22

Lena

I end up having a hard time falling asleep. I twist and turn for hours, not able to get comfortable or warm enough. I miss the warmth that emanates from from Kieran's body. I miss the crook in his arm wrapped tightly around my waist. I miss cuddling my face against his chest.

I end up drifting off right before the break of dawn.

I wake up to Pip slamming my door and jumping on my bed with a squeal. I groan and throw my pillow over my face. "What the fuck are you doing?" I mutter sleepily.

She giggles. "I need to girl-talk, asap."

"No."

"Please. I need someone to listen to me gush about Helion."

"Go gush to a bird or something. It's too early for this."

She doesn't say anything for second, but when she does I nearly jump out of my skin, "Girl, it's nearly noon."

I immediately throw off the pillow and my blankets. "We need to be going we should go to Winter. Lucien gave me some hints on where to go."

"But - "

"We really need to get flying fast." I say as I throw on the same dress I wore yesterday.

Pip turns red with anger. "Hey! I didn't have to come along with you, but I'm here. Now, you don't have to listen to me. You could definitely be a bitch by not stopping to talk to me even though I uprooted myself from my home and my job to help you. Or you could stop and listen to me and be a friend."

I stop and sigh. "You're right. I'm sorry." I shake my head and cast a glance at my bed. My bed with only one side of the sheets rumpled. "I just want to get back to him, but that doesn't excuse my being rude to you."

I sit down and stare patiently, waiting for her to continue. She nods and says, "Helion was amazing, like really amazing." I don't have to ask what he was amazing at. "And he was very sweet. I couldn't believe it. And he said that if we ever crossed paths again he would be very lucky indeed."

"How sweet." I say amiably.

"I know right!" Suddenly her smile turns into a frown. "Unless it was just a line to get me to sleep with him."

I think it probably was, but she doesn't need to hear my own personal opinion. "It wasn't. Girl, he would definitely be lucky if he crossed paths with you again."

"You think so?"

"Of course. Look at you! You're insanely gorgeous," I say before adding with a wink, "and you're personality isn't lacking either."

She giggles. "Thanks, Lena. But seriously, Lena, he's a High Lord. I'm a bastard-born Illyrian. There's no other reason that a High Lord would want a girl like me than for him to have a quick fuck."

"But was it a quick fuck though? You just got back, right?"

She smiles. "Oh, trust me, it wasn't over for a long time." She says with a waggle of her brows.

I fake-gag, "Stop . . . you're going to make me vomit."

"Speaking of vomiting, you and Lucien talked? Should Kieran be jealous?" She asks in a sing-song voice.

"Cauldron no. Lucien isn't my type. Even if he was, I'm loyal to my mate."

She shrugs, "Just saying, if it's like father like son . . . whoever gets the fox might have a bit of fun on their hands."

I laugh before sobering up at the thought of Lucien and how his mate doesn't want to be with him. It makes me appreciate - and miss - Kieran even more; he definitely could have left me with my father and given up without a fight. 

"We should go if this talk is over with."

She nods and her wings break out of her back. "Let's get going."

I start to shift into my favorite flying form until a knock comes from the door. Shifting back into my Fae form, I walk to the door and answer it to find Lucien standing on the other side with a basket of muffins.

He immediately hands the muffins over, saying, "My father and I thought it would be a good idea to give you something to eat on your way to the Winter Court."

Pip walks over and takes a muffin right out the basket, eating it and making a small moan at the taste, "Chocolate chip, thank the Cauldron."

Chocolate chip? I could definitely go for some of that! I start to reach for a muffin when I remember the manners my father instilled in me for years, "Thank you, Lucien. Would you like a muffin?"

He shakes his head, "No, thank you. I believe we're having the same thing downstairs for our breakfast." He inclines his head to us and says, "It's been a pleasure to meet you, Rosalena. I hope we have the chance to meet again."

I incline my head towards him, "As do I."

\-----

Between Pip and I, we finished the two dozens chocolate chip muffins in record time, like five minutes, not leaving until we finished them all and were lying on our stomachs, rubbing them as they grumble. Maybe we shouldn't have ate all those muffins.

But they were chocolate chip!

"We should go." I mumble and stand up, shifting into my golden, feathery form.

Pip nods and flaps her wings, "So we're going to Winter?"

I caw and she nods, "That's chill."

She starts cracking up immediately and I wish I didn't find it funny but I do and my bird laugh comes out sounding like repeatedly cawing while I'm short of breath.

"We need to go before I start making more jokes." She says between laughs.

I nod so we start running before falling off the balcony and flying above the city below. Watching the city racing underneath us and then watching it disappear leaves me feeling sad. Sad enough that Kieran says, What happened?

Nothing, I just thought we could visit the city again. It would be nice. I explain, hoping that if we did we would actually have time to explore.

I feel his relief coursing down the bond, Of course we could.

Could we go everywhere?

Everywhere? Sure, anything you want. That might take a while though.

I think of the eternity we have together and say, I think we have time.

I faintly hear a chuckle before his response, I think we do too.

I miss you.

Miss you too.

I have to go; Father knows that I'm not paying attention and he looks very cross.

I snort, or what a snort is to a bird, making Pip look back at me with something like horror on her face. I think I scared her. All right, have fun getting in trouble.

Always.

I shake my head and keep sailing through the sky, watching the land below.

\-----

I think we finally made it to Dawn Court. The sun, though spectacular, isn't shining down hard enough to burn my already red skin. Plus, this place actually has a few hints of it being winter. Frost on the windows, foggy air when you breathe, a winter winds bite.

Pip lands on the roof of a business. I follow her and shift back, immediately knowing that she wants to talk.

"What's wrong?" I ask, rubbing my hands together and blowing on them to bring some warmth to their joints.

"What's our plan?" She counters.

"Our plan? Find my brother." I answer simply, readying myself to shift.

"No, our plan. You said Lucien gave you some hints about where to go. What were they?" She asks.

I bite my lip, "So apparently, Lucien always checked back on the girls my father had . . . interactions with. He said that there were only three places that he could never check back to: Winter, Summer, and - " I cut myself off, dreading her reaction when I tell her about the third place.

"And?" She prompts with wide eyes, waiting for a response I'm not ready to give.

I squeeze my eyes shut before muttering, "Hybern."

"What?"

I mutter it again, "Hybern?"

"I can't hear what you're saying - "

I interrupt, speaking loudly and clearly, "Hybern."

And she flinches.

Pip jumps back and says, "Fuck, Lena. I was prepared for a little cross-country trek, but Hybern?No. I'm out." She starts to stand and back away, but I grab her wrist.

"Please, Lena, please." She freezes as I continue, "You don't have to go to Hybern with me, but you can still come with me to Winter and Summer. Please."

She nods, "Fine, but you will never get me to step foot in Hybern." Her eyes get a far away look in them, "Never. Sorry."

"It's okay." I say soothingly, wondering exactly why Hybern is so traumatizing for her.

She looks back at me with her piercing eyes, "Have you told Kieran yet?"

I shake my head, "Not yet. I'm not sure how to tell him or how he'll react."

"It won't be good. He'll be here in one second flat, taking you home, and effectively starting a war with Spring."

I bite my lip before making up my mind, "Then I won't tell him unless I know for sure that we actually need to go to Hybern." I see Pip nod slightly . . . so I add, "And you won't either. Swear it."

A look of concern splashes onto her face, "You shouldn't keep secrets from your mate, Lena. The mate bond is sacred, mixing it with secrets and lies . . . that's not good."

"It's not, and I don't like to do it, but he cannot know because if he did, this journey would be over and my father would go on a rampage. And it's not a lie, it's only withholding the truth. It will only be lying if he asks directly about it and I deny it. So swear you'll keep this secret."

Pip looks indecisive as she bites her lip and squeezes her eyes shut before saying, "I swear."

Kieran

"Stella, what are you doing?" I ask as I watch her try to do the exercise I instructed of her. Since father found me tuning out of his lessons earlier I've been watching the twins as punishment, but it's really an excuse for me to train Stella.

It's not turning out right.

"The flames are supposed to lower, simmer, not rise and roar." I say as the flames reach my height.

Stella turns around with a furrowed brow and wide eyes while Aedon watches the flames with a bored look before turning back to his book about the history of Prythian; I need to teach this kid about fiction.

"Aedon, why are you reading a history book for fun? Stella, concentrate on making the flames smaller. It's like shaping bubbles in a bubble bath, firefly."

Aedon shakes his head, "I like the book, K."

He also sends into my mind, And Stella needs to lose her fear of her powers before she can concentrate on controlling flames and shit, you dumb ass.

"Hey, watch your language! Mom will kill you if she ever hears you speak like that." I shout out loud, making Stella jump and the flames jump with her.

Even though I don't like the way he stated it, I see his point. She stands rigidly with tight shoulders. Anytime the flames do anything she flinches or jumps back an inch. Her hands are clenched into fists - she only ever does that when she's ready to beat someone down or she's trying to keep herself calm due to fear, sadness, anger, etc

This needs to stop.

I walk up to her and put a hand on her shoulder, turning her to me as I squat down to her eye level.

"How ya doing, firefly?"

Her lower lip trembles as she looks at the flame but she mutters, "I'm fine."

I nod. "You know what the cool thing about manipulating fire is?"

She shakes her head, not seeing how her great fear could have a cool thing.

I prove her wrong.

I grab her hand and reach out into the flames, manipulating them, making them not burn us, until our arms are up to our elbows are shoved in the flames, not burning or searing or melting, staying perfectly fine and smooth.

"You can never get burned unless you want to."

She smiles widely before looking down at her other hand. She slowly starts moving it to the flames, concentrating hard, as I take our entwined hands out of the flames her hand moves it, not burning or searing or melting either.

Her eyes widen in wonder before she smiles widely and starts giggling. She draws her hand out of the flame and throws it around my neck. "Thank you, Kieran. Thank you!"

Hugging her to me, I say, "No problem, firefly."


	23. Part 23

Lena

I have one thing to say about the Winter Court.

Just one thing.

It's fucking cold!

Even in my bird form, my teeth - well, beak - chatter. My whole body is vibrating with shivers. I glance over to Pip to see how she's doing in this extreme cold and see that she looks fine. Dressed only in a sweater and a coat, with the icy air hitting her, she should be freezing. But she looks fine.

Jerk.

I'm not used to this weather. I'm not used to being freezing cold. Spring was always warm, the coldest it ever got was no where near this. Even being in Night for a few weeks during their Winter, I never felt this insanely cold.

Just as I'm about to fly towards Pip to try to convince her to stop for warmth I hear Kieran's voice saying, How's everything going?

It's fucking cold. I mumble grumpily back to him.

He starts laughing so I watch the landscape beneath me as I wait for him to stop laughing and answer me, finding no houses but seeing lots of white snow and pine trees. I squint as see something moving against the snow, but I can't tell wait.

Finally he says, Made it to Winter I'm guessing?

Yeah and it's fucking cold. I can't wait for Summer now.

Sure, you're saying that now, He pauses, wait until you're there and you're sweating buckets from the blazing sun.

I glare at a certain tree, imagining it as him, Well, it will be better than this.

Will it?

I stick my tongue out, hoping he receives my intentions through the bond, and Pip looks over at me with a furrowed brow and look of hopeless confusion, Shut up.

All right, I'll just go . . . won't bother you anymore . . .

Wait. I really do want to hear from him; I've missed him and the bond makes it so much worse, like a permanent pain in my chest. Talk to me. How's the family?

Good. Dad's stressing about stuff with the Court of Nightmares, Mom's helping him with that; they're all terrified of her. Stella and Aedon are tiny pests. Aunt Nesta's fine and Uncle Cass is doting on her. He won't even let her sneeze without asking if she's okay.

Sounds like Cassian. I say with a sigh, missing him as well.

He misses you, sunshine. I think that if you weren't my mate he would probably adopt you. Unfortunately, that would be quite weird under the circumstances.

I grimace at the thought of being Kieran's cousin, even if it's only by law and not blood. Yeah, that would be weird. I change the subject back to an earlier topic, What's happening with the Court of Nightmares?

Well, we tried to give them a little more freedom after all their help with Hybern, but it seems that they're abusing that freedom. I don't know any more about it, Dad doesn't like talking about them.

I understand why. And I do. Rhysand is a good male, a sweet male. And when he has to lead the Court of Nightmares he has to be somebody he isn't somebody that he doesn't want to be. I understand that and so much more after pretending and turning myself into a docile creature for my father.

Aedon said a cuss word. Kieran grumbles. He said many cuss words, in fact.

I laugh at the absurdity that this would trouble Kieran. Really? I wonder where he got that from. I say, thinking about all the times I've heard him and the rest of his family curse like sailors.

He's not old enough to be cursing. And if he does it in front of Mom . . . she'll tan my hide.

I highly doubt that.

Fine, she'll make me do the dishes. I can practically feel his shudder over the span of the Courts separating us.

Poor baby.

He starts to argue when Pip flies up next to me and shouts over the rushing wind, "There's a city down there, we should stop for some food and a little warmth."

I nod and squawk as an answer.

We fly down and land on the side of a street where sleds are rushing down either side. Pip automatically tucks in her wings, not liking them being so exposed in the open city. I change from a bird to my normal human self and immediately regret it as I remember that I'm wearing my clothes from day, consisting of a sundress and sandals.

I notice some females strolling down the streets with large, white foxes walking along next to them.

"Pip, can I be a fox?"

Pip turns to me with a furrowed brow before shrugging and saying, "Whatever floats your boat." as she tugs her jacket closer to her.

I immediately start shifting, picturing a foxes pointed nose and triangular ears. I picture my body shifting into a small, four-legged thing. My skin goes from soft and smooth to big, fluffy white fur. My hands and feet become small paws with long claws and I feel my teeth turn into sharp fangs. I sigh as I don't even feel the chill as the Winter wind tries to nip and bite at me.

When I'm done I look up at Pip and smile, letting her see all my new teeth.

She shakes her head at me, "Don't you fucking bite me."

I open my mouth wider, teeth glistening, and she shakes her head at me. "Let's get some food. Maybe that'll keep you from ravenously destroying me."

I snort out a chuckle that sounds more like hacking in this body and she shakes her head again, "Shapeshifters. Always weirdos."

We walk down the streets and everybody turns a suspicious eyes on Pip for her dark skin, dark hair, and dark eyes. Nothing about her looks like a citizen of Winter. But nobody turns a questioning eye on me.

Pip steps into a diner and holds the door open for me. We walk in and head to a booth. I don't think about the improprieties of a fox being in a respectable restaurant - or the health code violations - as I hop into the navy blue leather of the booth and lay my fuzzy head on the table in front of me.

A waitress comes up to us and sends a nasty glance my way before turning to Pip and says, "Pets are not allowed in here."

Pip doesn't even glance up from the menu she grabbed before saying, "She's not a pet."

I shift into my Fae form before the waitress turns back to me and when she sees a High Fae sitting at the table rather than the fox she nearly faints, "Holy fucking Cauldron." She mumbles before shaking her head and recovering, "I'm so sorry, my lady."

"It's not a problem. I'm told I have one of those faces." That reminds people of foxes is not what I add. I grab my menu and leaf through it before looking up, "I think a bowl of chili sounds amazing, but only with a peanut butter sandwich on the side." I say, craving a good bowl of chili after the cold weather.

Pip slams her menu closed and says, "Now that sounds fantastic for me as well."

The waitress nods before scurrying away to the kitchen. Pip and I start giggling. "I feel kind of bad for her." I mutter, wanting to apologize and tell her she's not seeing things.

Pip shrugs, "Serves her right for assuming. There are a few shapeshifters. She should have considered that before calling you a pet."

I shrug and get ready to wait for my chili when a cold breeze blows into the place, my hair swirls about crazily around my head as someone walks in and everyone in the room bows besides Pip and I.

I get a closer look at the person to see that it's Viviane, High Lady of the Winter Court, a large fox - tall enough to easily reach my hip - walks in with her as she spots our table and strolls over to us, a chair made of ice magically appears at the end of our table and she gracefully sits in it. I watch it with a wary gaze, knowing that if it were me sitting in it that thing would crumble thanks to my luck.

She smiles at me with painted red lips, "Rosalena, I don't believe we've ever had the pleasure of actually talking. I'm Viviane," She smiles proudly as she says, "High Lady of Winter. And you . . . you will be the next High Lady of Night if anything should happen to Rhysand and Feyre, Cauldron bless them." She says the last part with genuine kindness.

"I actually really don't want to be." I mutter. I never told Kieran that, knowing that he would renounce that title completely if it meant that I would be happy, but I feel like Viviane already knew that without me having to tell her.

"It is a terrible burden." She mumbles before turning to Pip, "And you, I don't think I've had the pleasure of meeting you." She sticks out her hand, ready to shake with bastard-born Illyrian.

Pip looks at the hand with a furrowed brow before taking it and shaking the hand, "Penelope, bastard-born Illyrian. I go by Pip though."

Viviane smiles, "I go by Viv most of the time. Nice to meet you, Pip."

"You searching for your father's lost son?"

I nod, hoping against hope that he's here and I can end this little quest.

She shakes her head, "I don't think you'll find him here." She turns to Pip, "You noticed how everyone was confused and suspicious of you when they saw you?" Pip nods unsure as Viviane continues, "We know a stranger by their looks. We all have some aspect of Winter that's easily spotted. White hair, white skin, ice blue eyes."

Viviane turns to me with an inspecting eye, her hand reaches up and gestures to my hair, my eyes, my skin, "Any child of your father's would have the same coloring as you. And I would have heard about it by now. It wouldn't have been in the near past either. This child would be over seventy years old. I would know of a male like that in my Court. Especially if he had the power that most children of High Lords have."

I nod sadly, understanding that I won't find my brother here.

"But you should stay with us in the palace tonight. I'll send out my foxes to your list of names, just to be sure."

I smile enthusiastically at the offer, "Please, that would be lovely."

Pip nods.

Viviane smiles then disappears with her wolf and our chili arrives.

"I guess we should dig in." I say.

Kieran

"How's the situation in the Hewn City, Dad?" I ask as I walk into my father's study.

He nods, "It's going well enough. Keir is being difficult as always."

I nod, understanding just how difficult my great uncle can be, especially after hearing the story of what he did to Aunt Mor; that particular story gave me nightmares for months. I had always been afraid of Keir, hearing what he did to a beloved member of my family scared me in ways I can't even explain.

"You're getting along with Stella and Aedon really well." My father says without looking up from his paper, a hint of suspicion in his voice, "Is there something I need to know?"

I shake my head, "Nope. Just figured I should spend more time with them. Lena was telling me about how she always wanted siblings growing up and she never had anyone to play with or anything and it made me think that I've been taking them for granted." Partly true. I'm spending so much time with them because I'm training Stella, but Lena did tell me about wanting siblings as a younger child - not so much as she grew up and her father's animosity towards her got worse and worse.

My father chuckles, "Remind me to thank Lena." He looks up from whatever he was reading and meets my eyes, "How's she doing?"

I shrug, "I talked to her earlier, she seemed fine. Though they've flown into Winter and she is freezing and not enjoying it."

"I get that. I don't understand how people live in such cold conditions."

I nod. I hate being cold, I guess that's why it's good that I got fire manipulation instead of ice manipulation. I wish that I could be there to keep Lena warm with the fire power. Shit . . . now I'm thinking about the cabin and the fire magic and -

"Kieran, please get out of my office if you're going to think about sex."

I feel heat warming my face and neck and I know that I'm as red as Spring roses, "Sorry. Just a - "

My father starts saying "La la la" really loud so I shut up.

My mother suddenly appears with a frown on her face, "Don't think about sex when I'm in here either."

"Mom!"

Uncle Cassian walks in through the door, like a normal person, and says, "What's all the commotion?" He holds up a plate of brownies. "Want some brownies? I made them for Nesta, but she didn't want nuts in them."

My mother nods, "Nesta doesn't like nuts." while my father says, "Kieran was thinking about sex."

"Dad!" I yell as my face gets redder.

Uncle Cass looks at me and says, "Ah, that's why he looks like he's about to choke." I start to reach for a brownie but Uncle Cass pulls them away, "No brownie for you."

Uncle Az pops up in the corner and shakes his head at me.

"Don't act like none of you never think about it." I murmur.

My father says, "We're over five hundred years old, of course we can think about it." My mother huffs so my father adds, "And your mother is twice your age so she can think about it."

The door opens and Stella skips in with her black curls bouncing and we all freeze, "What are all of you doing?"

We all look at each with wary eyes. Uncle Cass opens his mouth and my father glares at him, daring him to say anything inappropriate so instead of making some lewd comment he holds up the plate of brownies and says, "Your parents think brownies are bad for Kieran, they think he needs to watch his girlish figure."

Azriel starts chuckling in the corner as I glare at Cassian, "but you, m'lady, you should have a brownie."

Stella's eyes light up, "Why, of course I should." She reaches to grab one of the brownies, but changes her mind and grabs the whole plate and winnows out.

Everybody stares at the spot that Stella was standing until I punch Uncle Cass in the shoulder, "Great job, now none of us get brownies."


	24. Part 24

Lena

"So where the hell is the Winter Court palace?" Pip asks as she finishes her last spoonful of chili.

I shrug, "I guess we'll know when we see it."

Pip calls for our bill while I slurp down the rest of my chili, savoring the spicy stew. "K could have given us a little more money; I mean geez, has he ever paid for food in his life?" Pip asks as she looks over the bill and places a couple coins on it before stepping out of her seat and gathering her coat around her.

"He probably hoped the High Lords and Ladies would be generous towards us." I say before calling on my magic and shifting into one of the Winter foxes.

Pip sighs as she looks down at me, grumbling, "Probably."

We walk out of the little diner and a bell rings as we leave. Pip looks around before nodding to the right and walking in that direction. I follow her with the hope that she has a better sense of direction than I do.

We walk down a few streets and around a few blocks before she says, "Ah, there it is." and points directly in front of her.

I follow her extended arm and see a glistening castle of ice towering over the city on a snow-covered mountain.

A snow-covered mountain. Great.

Pip looks at me with narrowed eyes, "Please tell me you want to fly up there, I really don't like climbing."

I nod with my fox head before shifting into my golden hawk form.

Pip's wings immediately extend out of her back as she says, "Let's get going then," before jumping into flight.

I caw in outrage at her head start as I jump into flight behind her.

The winds seem to have grown colder while we spent the afternoon in the diner. I spy the sun setting and groan inwardly at the thought of it getting even colder.

How do people even live here?

We race up the mountainside with the wind barreling into us, shivering the whole way. After what feels like hours, but could only have been a few minutes, we land in front of the gates where armed guards wait for us.

I immediately shift into my Fae form, knowing that I need to be the one to communicate this one.

I hold out my hands to show that I have no weapons and wish not to fight them, "The High Lady invited us to come here."

The guards look us over before glancing at each other and stepping aside. 

"Thank you." I say graciously before walking towards the door with Pip following behind me.

We walk in to find people milling about from one end of the room to the next, practicing the art of making ice and snowflakes. I glance around, trying to find our hostess, and notice that it's not just the castle that's made of ice, it's everything - the tables, the chairs, the fireplaces, the vases, all made of ice.

I finally spot Viviane at one of the tables speaking to a young girl that I recognize from somewhere.

I stroll towards them, careful not to be conscious of the fact that I'm walking on ice, and say, "It's a pleasure to be a guest in your home, High Lady." before executing a perfect curtsy; maybe the lessons of propriety my father made me learn were a little useful after all.

Viviane nods to me, "It's a pleasure to have you in my home." She sweeps a hand towards the young lady next to her and says, "You remember my daughter, Natasha, right?"

I gasp, "I knew I recognized you! You look so much older than you did the last time I say you." I exclaim as I study her; she was fourteen the last time I saw her and she had chubby pale cheeks and long, curly hair. Now at fifteen, she's lost the baby fat in her cheeks, hollowing them out and displaying her well-defined, high cheeks bones. Her white hair has been sheared into a thick bob that works well with her unruly curls. She studies me with bright icy blue eyes.

"I remember you," She says in a silvery voice, "we went to that birthday party last year, your father's, and you were there, but you didn't celebrate like the rest of us. You looked so . . . sad."

I remember that night quite clearly. I was miserable. I wanted to go outside. I wanted to ride my horse. I wanted to feel the wind on my skin. Instead I was stuck inside with a bunch of random strangers congratulating my father for living another year.

"Yeah, I don't enjoy my father's birthday."

Natasha nods, "I understand why." My brow furrows until she clarifies, "Mama told me some details, I can't even imagine . . . Papa would never do anything like that to me."

This time it's Pip with the confused expression. I don't know if Kieran ever told her anything about my father and I; she knows I think my father's a dick, but other than that I don't think she knows anything else that ever transpired.

I nod, but don't say anything so Viviane steps in, "You must be so cold and tired. We have a room prepared for you two; we'd give you separate ones, but we're a bit over occupied at the moment," She says, gesturing around her at the multitude of Fae crowding the hall. "The room has a large hot spring in the bathroom. You'll get warm quite quickly; Natasha will show you to your room and bring you some clothes to keep out the chill."

Viv nods to Natasha smiles and walks on ahead of us, "Follow me." before starting a climb up an icy staircase.

"I don't like that, I don't like that at all." I mutter, thinking of all the way a person could die from climbing up a staircase of ice.

\-----

Thankfully, we make it to our room easily and without a perilous collapse of stairs that could lead to a horrific death.

Natasha leads us into a room with two large beds and a dresser for clothes if a person were to stay for a while, she motions to a door on the right wall of the room, "That's the door to the bathroom."

She measures us with her eyes before saying, "I'll bring you some clothes."

Pip clucks her tongue, "I'll come with you, I want to make sure you get something flattering for me."

I choke on a giggle as Pip strolls out behind her.

When they're both gone, I enter the bathroom and deposit my clothes on the floor that seems to be warm despite it being made out of ice. Making sure there are towels in the room, I slide into the tub of bubbling hot water that takes up half the room all on its own.

I sigh as the chill that's had a grip on me for the past few hours finally goes away, giving way to absolute warmth. I submerge myself under the water, letting the warmth sink into my hair before emerging above the water again and starting to massage a vanilla scented soap into my hair.

I find myself singing as I feel at peace for the first time in what feels like ages,

Black, black, black

is the color of my true love's hairHis face is something truly rare.Oh I do love my love and so well he knowsI love the ground whereon he goes.He with the wondrous hair.

Black, black, black

is the color of my true love's hairAlone, my life would be so bare.I would sigh, I would weep,I would never fall asleepMy love is 'way beyond compareHe with the wondrous hair.Black, black, blackis the color of my true love's -

 

"What a lovely song." Pip's voice startles me out of my performance.

I shriek and turn around to find Pip staring at me with a frown before lowering her gaze, "What's wrong?" I start to ask until I realize exactly what's wrong. She saw my back, she saw the deep scars that traverse across it.

"So that's what she was talking about." She says quietly. "Natasha." She clarifies as if I don't remember the conversation from less than half an hour ago.

I nod, not sure what to say. When Kieran saw the scars, he was sad and angry but he was also proud of me and tender with me about it. When I showed the High Lords and Ladies, they were horrified but I didn't have to deal with them personally.

I have no idea what to do with Pip.

She walks over, her bare feet making tapping noises on the hard floor, and sits down, dangling her feet into the warm water. "Show me the rest."

I bite my lip, not sure if I should, until I do. I stand and let her see the scars that rake across my side, the burn on my forearm, the scars that line my legs.

She looks me over and her eyes start to water before she wipes a hand over them and says, "You know I thought you were being whiny, when you said your father was a dick, because I thought that nobody could be worse than my father. Nobody." She shrugs, "I was so wrong."

I sink back into the water and watch her as she continues, "My father might have abandoned me, but I think that's better." She looks at me again and shakes her head, "It was definitely better to be abandoned than to be beaten by somebody who is supposed to love you, at least I can pretend my father was doing what he thought was best for me. Your father had no excuse."

I nod, "I know." A few months ago I would have defended him, blamed myself, but I know that what he did was not excusable.

"So you're going to bring your brother to him?"

I nod, barely able to do that.

"Are you sure you can do that? Knowing what your father did to you, can you consciously allow your father to have the opportunity to hurt your brother?"

My vision blurs as tears clog my eyes, "I don't know."

Kieran

"Stella, they had no idea that you could do that!" I say as I attempt at scolding my sister for her stunt earlier.

Stella pouts, "I'm sorry! I didn't even realize I did that until I was in my room."

"Do you want Mom and Dad to find out? If you can't keep from using your powers in front of them then we're going to have to tell them."

"I know!" She yells and a book on her desk ignites in flames. Her mouth drops open in horror and her eyes widen she looks at me for help.

"Firefly, calm down. Just breathe, just breathe." She breathes in and out as I continue, "C'mon, no need to be angry, you're fine. We'll figure it out."

I see her little shoulders loosen from her rigid pose and the flames whoosh out of existence.

"Good job, kid." I say and ruffle her thick hair.

Aedon pops in and sniffs the air before shaking his head and rolling is eyes, "Good job."

Stella sticks her tongue out at him and he sticks his out at her.

"Seriously guys? Stop acting like babies."

Stella crosses her arms over her chest, "But he started it, he's always being so sarcastic towards me."

"I am not." He argues.

"Are too! Yesterday I asked what we were having for dinner and you said, 'Food would be my best guess'!"

I sigh as they continue arguing, flopping onto Stella's canopied bed. I watch them go back and forth, not wanting to intervene until I feel a wave of sadness roll across the bond.

"Guys," I say in warning but they continue to argue so I yell, "Guys, shut up!" They both look at me with wide, affronted eyes. "I'm sorry for yelling, but I need you two to shut up or get out."

They both nod and sit down on either side of me, cuddling into my sides, as I send out a message to Lena, What's wrong?

Pip and I are talking about something.

What?

A moment of silence leaves me hanging in suspense until she says, Our fathers.

I blink, surprised, Pip doesn't talk about her father. Ever. What brought that on?

She saw my scars.

I cringe as I think about those lines that decorate Lena's delicate body. Oh.

Yeah.

Did she say anything bad about them? I ask, ready to scold my friend for being thoughtless with her words as she normally is.

No, she said that I'm braver than she thought I was.

Really?

I can feel her nodding, Yeah.

Stella looks up at me, "Are you talking to Lena?"

I nod.

"Tell her I said hi." I start to send that to her when Stella adds, "Oh and that Papa and I are designing her dress for Starfall already and it will be beautiful." I nod and before I can even think about that she adds, "Oh, and that Mama wants her to hurry back as fast as she can so they can get back to talking about you behind your back."

I start to relay that when I realize what she said, "Hey - "

"Mama says that Lena said that you talk in your sleep and that sometimes you say funny things."

I furrow my brow and via bond I say, Lena, my sister says that you gossip about me with my mother and you told her I talk in my sleep and say funny things.

She's silent for a moment before she says, You told a joke once.

And?

You said, 'Do you know where my father keeps his armies?' and I said, 'No, where?' and you said, 'In his sleevies.'

I cringe at the stupidity. No, I didn't.

Yes, you did.

Lena, no, I didn't.

Kieran, yes, you did.

I groan, that's exactly what I want to do in my sleep. Tell stupid as fuck jokes. That's really attractive.

Fine, but you should know that you sing in your sleep.

I know that.

How the fuck do you know that?

I can see her shrugging in my mind's eye, Cassian teased me about it one afternoon when I fell asleep after practice.

Hope Pip has fun sharing rooms with you on your little trip.

Pip says she could sleep through a raging tornado.

That's true.

"Kieran, can we go to the Rainbow? I wanna dance!" Stella yells, grabbing my arm and shaking it.

I nod, "Sure, just hold on a second."

I gotta go, Lena. Love you.

Love you too.

\-----

Music fills my ears as we walk along the path towards the Rainbow. Stella skips ahead of Aedon and I, humming out-of-tune to the song.

"Hurry, guys!" She yells as she skips around a corner.

I pick up my pace so I can catch up with her and Aedon sighs before running up next to me. We find Stella skipping around a crowd of people who circle a band.

"Really, Stella! Don't run ahead of me."

She turns a pouty lip on me and her eyes glisten, "Don't yell at me, I can take care of myself."

I think about the few things that could possibly hurt Fae and how it would be so easy for someone to get a hold of those things and . . . "I don't care if you think you can take care of yourself. I'm here to watch you, so watch you I will."

She crosses her arms before sighing and turning back to the crowd, already lost to the music again.

I roll my eyes as she walks into the crowd and starts lightly tapping her feet. Aedon looks up at me, "She likes to dance. It's like how you like to draw, or how Lena likes to sing."

My brow furrows as I ask, "And what do you like to do?" having never seen the kid do anything other than read old history books.

Aedon shrugs, "I like history. If we can learn about it maybe we won't repeat it, maybe we can change things."

I look down at the kid, studying him. At his age I was learning how to sword-fight, but he's not a warrior like me; he's a scholar. He'll be the next Amren, minus the blood-drinking thing, "That's really wise. Did Aunt Amren tell you that?"

He shakes his head, "No, Aunt Amren told me that if I decided to do a blood diet that I should always drink a smaller animal's blood." He shrugs and says matter-of-factly, "It's healthier."

I nod at this sage wisdom, "Of course it is."

We both turn back to look at Stella who seems to have found a friend; a lesser fae with silver scales for skin and a shock of black curly hair on top his head. Stella catches our gazes and smiles, waving towards.

I don't think she's ever had a friend other than Aedon.


	25. Part 25

Lena

Despite the castle being made of ice, the beds are warm with fur-lined covers and even though I miss Kieran and want his arms around me I find that it's easy to fall asleep on this soft mattress. I don't remember what I dream of but when I wake up sweat is dripping down my chest and my heart is pounding.

Pip stares down at me with narrowed eyes, "Either you just had a really good sex dream or a really terrifying nightmare."

My brow furrows as I sit and wipe the sweat from my forehead, "I don't remember what it was."

Pip bites her lip before saying, "Well, if you can't remember then it's no problem, but you need a shower all that sweat is completely unattractive."

I nod, not really caring about being attractive but wanting to get rid of all this sweat, so I stand up and walk to the bathroom where I take a quick but thorough shower under warm water.

When I come out Pip throws some clothes at me, "Here are your day clothes."

I throw the clothes on the bed to find a pair of fur-lined pants and a warm navy blue sweater with boots and a cloak. I put all of them on and revel in the softness of the yarn of my sweater, "These are really nice clothes."

Pip runs a hand down the arm of her sweater and gushes, "I know, right? I'm definitely keeping this."

A knock comes from our door and we both go to answer it, opening the door we find Natasha on the other side.

"Hello," She smiles warmly, "you're invited to breakfast with my family. My mother would like to speak to you about her findings."

Her findings? What findings? Findings as in she found my brother? I want to ask but Natasha is already turning away and walking down the hall. I look at Pip for the briefest of moments before saying, "Well, I am hungry."

We both follow her down the icy halls.

\-----

Apparently, we are early for breakfast. We sit at a table in the middle of an otherwise empty room and wait for the High Lord and Lady with Natasha who smiles at us over a cup of warm tea; I don't drink the tea, preferring the coffee that reminds me of the Night Court.

Pip sits with her back against one armrest of her chair and her legs strewn across the other armrest. Her head sags back as she hums off-key to an incredibly annoying tune. I'm about to take a sip of my coffee when she makes an extremely high noise, making me shriek and almost drop my cup.

"Pip, would you please stop - " I start to ask when a mischievous voice says, "Oh, please do continue."

We all look towards the door to find Kallias and Viviane watching us from the door with sly smirks. Pip immediately sits up straight and blushes bright red. I strain to smile as the High Lord and Lady sit down.

"Please excuse my friend." I send a glare towards Pip who sticks her tongue out at me, "She's very hyper."

Pip looks at me, affronted, "I am not. I am perfectly calm." She says even as her fingers tap the table repeatedly.

Kallias nods and digs into his bowl of oatmeal, not really caring to be in our conversation though he sends his daughter a warm smile and ruffles her hair even as she protests. Viviane smiles and shakes her head, "I am glad you two could join us for breakfast." Kallias smiles a smile that kind of says, "Yup, I'm glad too. Not really, please make them go away."

Viviane's smile turns into a frown as she stirs her oatmeal, "Sadly, I did not come up with anything when I sent my wolves out to find any clue of your brother being here. I am sorry."

I nod, already having steeled myself for this. Two more places, Summer or Hybern. Please, let him be in Summer, "Thank you." I say gently before taking a bite of my oatmeal.

Pip smiles as she eats a large spoonful of oatmeal and moans appreciatively, "This is really very good."

Natasha nods, "We have a lot of practice at making warm foods."

I look past us out the window to see snow coming down hard, "I wonder why." I mutter sarcastically and the whole group laughs.

\-----

"Got everything you need?" Pip asks me as she walks out of the bathroom with a new change of clothes that includes a fur-lined coat.

I nod as I look down at the bag that I've filled with snack cakes and clothes for Summer, "Yeah, I think so."

I close the bag just as there's a knock on the door. Pip yells, "Come in."

Natasha walks in a softly closes the door behind her, "You're going to Summer next, right?"

We both nod and she steps closer to us. Her head is held high, but her eyes are wide and worried, "Can you take a message to someone for me?"

Pip asks, "What message?" at the same time I ask, "To who?"

Natasha replies, "Raphael, the High Lord's son. I have a note for him." She slips her delicate pale hand into her pocket and pulls out a small, folded up piece of paper and hands it to me, "It's for his eyes only." 

Pip rolls her eyes, "I'm getting sick of all these romantic star-crossed lovers shit."

Natasha blinks at her with wide eyes, "Star-crossed lovers?" Her brow furrows until she gasps and giggles, "You think Raphael and I are in love? How funny."

Pip blinks, "You mean you aren't in love?"

Natasha shakes her head, "No, of course not. We are good friends. My parents do not approve of our friendship though because Raphael convinced me to drink some fairy wine with him and things got really crazy."

I decide that I don't want to know what really crazy means to Natasha, but Pip asks, "What do you mean?"

Natasha sighs before muttering, "I created a giant fox creature out of snow and rode it through the streets while yelling, 'It's time to get foxy'."

Pip bursts out laughing and I giggle while Natasha blushes bright red, "That's great, kid." Pip elbows me, "Bet you did something like that when you got drunk for the first time."

I raise a brow, "I've never been drunk before and I don't intend to be." I put Natasha's note in my bag and say, "Don't worry, Natasha. He'll get your message."

Natasha nods and says, "Thank you." as she leaves.

Pip turns to me with an exaggerated surprised face and says, "You've never been drunk before?"

I shake my head, "No, and I don't want to be so don't get any ideas."

I can tell Pip wants to ask another question but I turn into my bird form and squawk at her.

Pip rolls her eyes at me, "Got it, you don't want to talk. That's fine." Her wings burst out her back and she grabs our bags, "Guess that means it's time to go, huh?"

I caw at her and she nods, "K, let's go."

Kieran

"Kieran?" a small voice asks and I look down to find Stella staring up at me with her huge eyes.

"Yeah, Stell?"

"You weren't paying attention." She says, sticking her lip out in an exaggerated pout, "I was trying to tell you something."

I bend over and pick her up, "Well, I'm listening now, so tell me."

"I made a real friend."

"Really, tell me about it."

"His name's Felix. He's a lesser fae and he has scales all over his body."

"Does he?" I ask, curious about this new friend.

She nods, "He has wings too. I think he said his dad was an Illyrian, but he never met him."

A bastard-born then, "What else?"

She shrugs, "He was just nice to me. Sometimes other kids are mean to me."

My brow furrows about that, "Why are other kids mean to you?"

Stella bites her lip before saying, "Sometimes I may have made ice grow from their armpits."

I sigh as I sit her back on the ground before sitting on the ground myself, "Why in the world would you do that?"

Stella shrugs, "They were complaining about being hot."

"That's when you make a sprinkler with the water magic, not make ice grow out of their armpits."

Stella crosses her arms over her chest, "Well excuse me, sorry that I don't know all the magical etiquette yet."

"Don't get sassy with me, young lady." I say crossly before softening up and saying, "Now how's the magic coming?"

She looks down at her feet, "I think it's coming along fine."

"Stella, don't lie to me."

"Okay! I may have almost set Mom's tablecloth on fire." She looks at me stubbornly.

"Why?" I ask, having to know what the tablecloth did to deserve that.

"Mom wouldn't let me have mac and cheese for breakfast." Stella mutters.

I shake my head tiredly, "You nearly set Mom's tablecloth on fire because she wouldn't let you a lunch and dinner food for breakfast."

Stella glares at me, "Mac and cheese is an anytime of the day food."

Aedon groans from his spot in the corner of the room, "Would you two shut up? I'm trying to read."

I look up to find him curled into a chair with a book of magical precedence's in Prythian, "Hey, you can take that to the library if you want, but we're not leaving."

He rolls his eyes but returns to the reading. Stella sticks her tongue out at him before turning back to me, "I can't help it. I get angry sometimes and the fire just happens."

She's right, every time she gets angry something burns, "Do any of the other elements of your magic come out when you're emotional?"

She cocks her head at me, "What do you mean?"

I shrug, "What happens when your really sad?"

She looks down at her hands before saying, "I don't really know."

"And when your worried, or happy? What happens?"

She shrugs, "I don't know." She admits.

"Well, maybe we should figure that out." It could help me figure out how to keep her in control.

\-----

Flying around the night sky, I almost don't notice when Lena says, We're heading into Summer. Wish you were here.

I wish I was too.

It's starting to get warmer the closer we get to the borders. Thank goodness. It's too fucking cold to fly in Winter.

I chuckle as I say, And in summer it's going to be too hot to fly in it.

Probably. How are things going on your end?

I think about how I spent all day trying to get Stella super happy to see what her magic would do but nothing worked, I trained Stella a bit, didn't do very well.

You're doing amazing with her. Even if you don't help as much as you'd like, as long as you're helping you're doing better than most would.

So are you heading to the Summer Court palace in Adriata first? I ask, trying to change the subject.

Yes, hopefully he's here.

What will you do if he's not?

She doesn't answer, instead she says, It's going to be so lovely, I've heard so much about Summer.

There's something she's not telling me. I say, Yeah, Summer really is beautiful.

She doesn't say anything else and that's when I know something's up. I winnow to my dad's study and say, "Dad, I'm going to Summer. I don't know when I'll be back, but I have to do this."

And then I winnow to Tarquin's palace.

I find the High Lord sitting on a balcony with his son, Raphael, and his wife, Teresya, eating some kind of cold dessert.

He looks up as I approach and smiles, "Hey, Kieran. Not to be rude, but why are you visiting?"

I take the empty chair at the table and say, "Well, my mate's coming here and I haven't seen her for a few days and I thought it would be nice to surprise her." They don't need to know that I think my mate is keeping an important secret from me.

Teresya smiles, her blue eyes glittering, "How sweet, you should visit Amren and Varian while you're here. She'll never admit it, but she's missed you."

"I've missed her too, I'll do that, but for now can I have a room?"

Tarquin nods, "I'll show you to your room and I'll have somebody show your mate to that room too when she arrives."

"Thank you."

"Anything for Feyre and Rhysand's boy."

\-----

I wait outside on the balcony, not wanting to cooped up inside even if the room is large with a huge canopied bed and a wall completely made of unbreakable glass that shows the night sky, the ocean, and the city below the palace.

After two hours of waiting, I hear the door open and soft steps tapping against the floor. I shroud myself in darkness so she won't see me until I want her to, but I turn around and watch her as she explores the room, her fingers trail across the soft comforter on the bed and her green eyes flit around, noticing the small things, until her nose flares and her eyes widen.

Her mouth falls open and her eyes meet mine through the unbreakable glass and the shroud of darkness and she says, "Kieran?"

And the darkness disappears.


	26. Part 26

Lena

"It's not even that hot." I say again as Pip exaggeratedly fans herself with both her hands before falling on the ground reaching up to me for help.

"Help, dying, need water." Pip whispers in a fake-hoarse voice.

I roll my eyes and keep walking. She quickly catches up to me and links her arm with mine, "Girl, how are you not dying? It's hot as Helion out here."

I shrug, "I don't feel the heat."

"Oh but you were freezing to death in Winter."

I look over at her with wide eyes, "Yeah, 'cause it was cold as fuck there. You were perfectly fine there."

She sticks her tongue out at me.

"Very mature." I mutter.

She rolls her eyes as I peer at our surroundings. We're walking along a beach in Summer, hoping that maybe my long-lost brother has a knack for surfing. The water is pristine and bright blue, the glowing sun hits the waves and makes them sparkle like liquid gemstones. People from all Courts walk around and play in the sun; a few are a little redder than they probably hoped they would get.

"I don't think we're going to find your brother here."

I raise my eyebrows at Pip, "Why's that?"

She shrugs, "Do you see any attractive blond males with green eyes and tan skin?" She looks around dramatically, swiveling her head back and forth, "Because I sure don't. Why don't we just look at the list?"

I sigh and reach into my pocket, pulling out the long list of my father's ex-lovers, and hand the list to her. Pip looks down at it and says, "All right, let's go ask how to find these people."

She takes off in one direction and I trudge along behind her, ignoring a few leering looks from males and females alike as I walk along in my short sundress, "Where are you going?"

Pip points towards a little shack, "The food shack, when in doubt go where the food is."

That seems like appropriate logic to me.

I follow her as she stalks towards the shack. When she reaches it, she sits on a tall stool at the bar and pats the stool next to hers, "Come, sit."

I hesitantly sit and watch as she gestures for the bartender to walk over.

The bartender strolls over with a pitcher of unidentifiable liquid in it and asks, "What can I get ya?"

Pip leans forward and smiles seductively, "Information, if you have it."

The bartenders eyebrows raise as she leans forward, "About what?"

Pip smooths out the list on the bar and says, "Do you know any of these females?"

The bartender leans over the list and mouths the names as she reads them, "Yeah, I know 'em all, went to school with them. Why?"

Pip looks at me and raises her eyebrows before turning back to the female and asking, "You wouldn't happen to know if any of them of have children . . . specifically, boys with blond hair and green eyes?"

The bartender scrunches her brow and glances between us. Her mouth opens and she says -

\-----

"That was such a bust." Pip says as she crumples up the list and throws it into the ocean.

I wrap my arms around myself and mumble, "Yeah."

None of the females had children, at least not males. A few had daughters.

Pip looks at me with concerned eyes, "You know what this means, right?"

I nod, "I know."

"Are you going to tell him?" She doesn't have to tell me who him is. I know. Am I going to tell Kieran? I know that if I don't, she will.

"Yeah, I guess."

Pip's eyes widen, "You guess? You don't guess. Kieran needs to know this. His mate is going to a territory that waged war on his Court twenty years ago and we haven't heard anything out of them since then. We don't know what's going on. They could be waging war on themselves. It could be a volatile - "

I angrily blurt out, "Pip, would you please shut up!" Pip jumps back, hurt at my exclamation. I immediately regret it. "I'm sorry, I'm just . . . I don't know what to do. I don't want to take him away from his duties or worry him - "

Pip shakes her head, "No, you don't want him to come with you because you think that if he's there when you find you're brother you'll be so caught up in him that you won't get to know you're brother before we take him to your father and - "

I cut her off, "And I'll leave him in the Spring Court because my head is too stuck up Kieran's ass that I don't care about anything else?"

Pip nods.

I sigh and look down at my bare feet and the sand beneath them, I kick some sand with my toes, "You're right."

Pip smirks, "I know."

I shove her playfully before nodding towards the palace of Adriata, "We should probably get up there, get some food and some sleep."

\-----

I walk into my room after a full meal of seasoned crab meat and rice. Rubbing my full stomach contentedly, I look around the room, noting the large white curtained bed and the full wall of glass.

I inhale deeply and freeze. Jasmine.

"Kieran?" I call out hopefully and look towards the glance wall where I see some swirling shadows.

The shadows disappear and Kieran stands there on the other side of the glance wall. I squeal and rush out onto the balcony, jumping into his open arms; his arms wrap tightly around me, squeezing me and giving me a type of comfort.

"What are you doing here?" I ask with my face against his chest.

Kieran pulls back and looks down at me with an unreadable expression, "I needed to speak to you."

My brow furrows at the distance that's suddenly overtaken his voice, I step back in confusion, "What about?"

His next question stops my heart.

"Are you lying to me about something?"

I look down at me feet and twist my fingers around each other, "I - maybe, I have been lying to you about something, but I was going to tell you," I look up and shrug, "I was going to tell you tonight actually."

His arms cross over his chest as he says, "Well, I'm here and I'm listening."

"Promise not to freak out?"

He raises a brow before nodding, "I promise." He shakes his head and adds, "Unless you're going to tell me that you slept with someone else because then I'll have to know his name and where he lives so I can kill him."

"Um no, "Is all I can say before I explain in a rush, "I lied and said that Lucien only said that my brother could be in Winter and Summer, he could also be in Hybern. And it looks like he is in Hybern. I didn't want to tell you until I was absolutely sure I would have to go there because I was worried you'd worry and there's other things but that's all you need to know."

Kieran furrows his brow and looks out at the churning ocean before turning back to me, "Is that it?"

I nod.

He starts laughing. Like all out roaring laughter. "I thought you cheated on me, but all you were keeping from me is that you have to go to Hybern."

"Um, Hybern bad, remember?" I prompt.

He shakes his head, "Not really anymore. They're leaderless, or so I've been told."

"So . . . you're not going to go into a protective mate mode and tell me not to go?"

Kieran shakes his head again, "I could never tell you not to do something, but I'm definitely going into protective mate mode. I'm going with you. Just because I've been told that Hybern is harmless doesn't mean that I'm letting my mate go there without me."

I roll my eyes before skipping up to him and pecking a kiss to his cheek, "Whatever you say, Kieran."

He pulls me towards him and kisses me, wrapping his arms tightly around my waist, "I missed you, sunshine."

"Hmm," I lean back and whisper, "I missed you too."

"I missed you when I was with my family of lovebirds, they made me feel excluded without you," He pecks a kiss on my jaw, "I missed you when I was painting or drawing, your comments are my favorites," He kisses the space between jaw and my neck, "I missed you when I was trying to sleep, it wasn't the same without you. It wasn't as warm." His lips slide down my neck.

"You have fire magic." I mutter.

He kisses the tip of my collarbone, "That's cheating though." He says as he wraps his arms behind my legs and pulls me up, lifting me against him so our faces are even with each other's.

He spins around and sits me on the railing of the balcony. He looks me right in the eye and waves away a wisp of hair that's come out of my braid, "You know you can tell me anything, sunshine."

I nod, "I know."

"There's something else bothering you."

I sigh and look over his shoulder, "I don't know what to do."

"About what?" He asks.

"About my brother." I jump down from the railing and slide down along the rails so I'm sitting with my head in my hands, "I don't think I can sentence a kid to go through what I went through at the hands of my father, even if it's for the sake of my own happiness."

Kieran slides down next to me and wraps his arm around my shoulders, dragging me close to him, I huddle into his side, "Then don't. We'll find the kid and find another way."

"What do you mean another way? It's either the kid goes or I go."

Kieran shakes his head, "He won't, and you're definitely not. 

I shake my head, "There's no other way."

Kieran shrugs, "We could kill your father."

I glare at him, "You know how I feel about that idea."

Kieran rolls his eyes, "I don't see how you can be so forgiving of the guy. He literally tore you to shreds. Before I healed you, your bruises had bruises. It physically hurt me to see what he did to you."

I kiss his cheek, "I know, but I believe that everybody can earn forgiveness."

"That's the sweet Spring part of you popping up."

I elbow him as I giggle, "Shut up, bat-brain."

"As you wish, sunshine."

I snuggle closer to him and he pulls me closer to him, kissing the top of my head. I inhale his scent and smile, "This is what I missed most."

"Cuddling?"

I nod, "You're good at it, you almost make me feel safe and comfortable."

I have my eyes closer, but I can tell that he's smiling at the compliment. He ruins my contentment by howling, "That's because I'm the cuddle monster, mwa ha ha!" before unwrapping his arms from me and tickling my sides, making me squeal like a deranged bird.

"Stop!" I yell between giggles, "Please, stop." I say as I squirm around beneath him, trying to stop the tickles.

He doesn't guard himself though so while he's distracted tickling me, I reach up and poke both his sides, making me him groan and fall over. I quickly jump on top of him and start tickling him in revenge. I laugh as he tries to get back on top, but I already have him down and out.

He reaches up and grabs my wrists, "Stop, okay? I surrender to your mercy, sunshine."

I quickly intertwine our hands together and pull them over his head, leaning down so my face is right above his, "Mercy has nothing to do with what's about to happen." I whisper as I kiss him hard, nipping his lip.

His voice is hoarse in my mind as I kiss down his neck, Take this to the bedroom?

You bet.

\-----

Pip squeals and runs and hugs Kieran, "K, guess what? I kind of slept with Helion and it was kind of extraordinary. Oh, and your mate is awesome. She's my girl. You hurt her, I'll send her your favorite part in a gift box with a pretty ribbon wrapped around it."

Kieran smiles widely, "I understood all of that even though you said it all in under five seconds right after I woke up, not giving me time to adjust to the sunlight let alone your constant jabbering."

Pip looks at me with narrowed eyes, "How do you put up with him?"

I shrug, "He's very handsome." I grab his chin and we both look at him as he stares at us suspiciously.

"Please stop looking at me like I'm a piece of steak that's cooked just right."

Pip raises a brow, "It makes you very uncomfortable, doesn't it?"

Kieran rolls his eyes, "Pip, you were literally giving me the same look I've seen you give chocolate pies."

Pip crosses her arms over her chest and huffs dramatically, "I hate chocolate pie."

"The five chocolate pies you ate in under thirty minutes at my birthday party last year tell a different story."

Pip nods, "I might like chocolate pie." She looks us over and finally notices that were not wearing any clothes, "Are you guys going to get ready or are we not going to Hybern? I need a game plan here."

Kieran and I look at each for a second, holding each other's gaze, before I say, "We're going to Hybern. And then we're going home."


	27. Part 27

Lena

I gasp as something sharp flies towards my face, twisting to the side just in time to avoid a dagger in my skull. My eyes are wide as I stare at the source of the weapon that is now lodged in a tree behind me. All the way to the handle. If that had gone in my skull . . . well, not in super-healing could fix that.

I charge at the greasy man who nearly killed me, preparing to hit him where it hurts. I swing my leg around to try and kick his knee out, but he grabs my ankle and pulls me towards him. I struggle against, trying to pull my leg out of his dirty hands. He isn't fazed by my struggle, he just laughs a crow-like cackle.

He pulls me until I'm right in front of him, face to face.

And I spit in his face.

He blinks wildly and lets go of my leg to wipe the saliva out of his eyes, distracted long enough for me to bring my knee up between his legs and hit his family jewels. He howls in rage and agony as he falls to his knees and I punch him in his face, hearing a crunch as his nose breaks and he falls backwards.

"How you doing over there, sunshine?" I hear Kieran call anxiously as his and his opponent's swords connect with a loud clash.

I shrug and look down at my assaulter, "Better than you! I thought you said this place would be a piece of cake?"

"Looks like I was wrong. Aren't you glad I made you wear those leathers?" He calls as he finally breaks away from his opponent and stabs him in the eye. I blush as I remember exactly how he made me wear these leathers.

\- Two days ago -

"Honestly, Kieran? Leathers, really?" I asked as he held out a pair of leathers that he thought would fit me well.

"Yes, really. We don't know how the people of Hybern might react to us. The daughter of the man who betrayed them and the son of their enemy. It's not like we're a popular bunch." He threw the leathers on the bed in front of me.

"But they're not comfortable." I whined, pouting my lips.

He held up his hands, "You know what else isn't comfortable?" I shrugged, thinking about full on metal armor, "Death! Death is not comfortable, sunshine."

I rolled my eyes, "You're being dramatic." I accused. I walked over to him and traced my hands down his arms, "We're not going to die, we're not even going to get in a fight."

He leaned down, resting his forehead against mine, "Please just wear them for me." He whispered. "So I know you're safe if we get separated."

"We're not getting separated."

"Please."

I sighed and shrugged, "Fine." I glanced at the leathers and let the tips of my fingers graze across them, "Fine, but you'll have to help me put them on." I said with a smirk as I bit my lip.

He raised a brow as a smirk of his own played across his lips, "What? You don't remember how?"

I shrugged, "You're not a very good teacher, my love."

He took a step closer and purrs in my ear, "Oh, I'll teach you a thing or two."

\- Now -

"Lena, kind of need some help right now!" Pip's voice breaks across my memory as I glance over and find her surrounded by nine men with swords.

I run towards her, shifting as I go. I swiftly turn into a golden lioness, roaring as I climb up a tree and into the branches to peer down at my opponents as they circle her. I search for the weak links - Pip would never forgive me if I gave her all the weaklings. I find them easily. One who doesn't hold his sword right. One whose footing is unsteady. One whose hand is shaking. One whose sweat is beading at his temple even in cold winter weather.

I jump down from my branch onto the one with unsteady footing, immediately knocking him on his back. My teeth sink into his neck. I tear apart his veins as I bring my teeth away from his neck again, turning back to the other men and hissing at them.

Pip smiles down at me as she takes this moment of surprise and uses it as a distraction to sink her sword into the man to her right's side, severing some vital organs. He's dead within seconds. The men snap out of their surprise and I get to work.

I walk up to the one who doesn't hold his sword right - he's the closest to me - and he holds his sword further out, preparing himself to strike me, but I send it flying towards Pip with a swipe of my paw. Pip catches it easily. The man backs up, shaking his head. I smirk in my lion form before jumping him and scratching through his chest with my long golden claws.

I turn back to the other men, watching in satisfaction as a wetness slides down one of the men's pants.

I lick my bloody muzzle and head towards the one whose hands are shaking and drops his sword and runs, trying to escape. My inner beast does not like that. You should never run from a predator.

I chase him down, catching him in seconds and sending him flying onto his stomach. He grunts as I land on top of him as I sink my golden claws into his back. I look back to find Pip has taken out the others. I turn my head towards Kieran to find him running towards us. Looks like this one's lucky. He'll be kept for questioning.

I shift back into my Fae form, keeping the lioness's claws though, and lean down to coldly whisper into this man's ear, "I wouldn't run if I were you, and I would tell us the truth." I sink the claws farther into his back, "The whole truth."

I release him as he whimpers and stand, folding my arms across my chest as Kieran and Pip reach me.

Pip wraps an arm around my shoulders, "Damn, girl. You're fierce as fuck." She grabs a dagger out of the ground and starts cleaning her nails with it before side-eyeing me and saying, "And you look amazing as a lioness. Spirit animal right there, girl."

I elbow her, giggling, "You didn't do too bad yourself. You looked like an angel of death, standing over them with those dark wings and that murderous expression."

Kieran glances between the two of us as he rolls the man over, "Girls, we can tell each other how much we love each other after we find out who this guy is working for."

We both sigh and nod, looking down at the man lying in the dead leaves on the ground. He looks up at us with wide eyes and a shaking mouth. When his eyes land on me, he does more than shake, "Demon bitch." He mutters and tries to spit at me, but it just lands on his own chin.

I bow at his cute nickname. I turn to Pip with a smirk, "Demon bitch, I like it."

Kieran smiles slightly before taking on his serious face, "Demon bitch, I do suppose my mate can be a bit of a demon. I do love it though." Ours eyes meet and he smiles slyly before turning back to the man, "If you do not answer everything truthfully - and trust me I will know if you don't - I'll let my mate have you for a new toy." The man looks at Kieran with wide eyes as Kieran continues, "She does love to play, like a cat with a mouse."

I hold out my hand and snap my claws out again, they glint in the dull sun, the man gulps and looks at Kieran, shaking his head. "I'll tell you anything you wish to know."

Kieran nods, "Good. I'm glad that you've decide to be cooperative." He stands and circles the man, looking down at him with sharp eyes, "Now, how about an easy question, what's your name?"

The man's brow furrows but he answer, "Petris."

Kieran nods, but his eyes leave Petris as he spots a dagger embedded in a tree, "Good answer, I like that name. Petris." Pip and I glance at each other, wondering where he's going with this. "Did your mother pick that name? Or was it your father?"

The man swallows his confusion and answers, "My mother."

Kieran smiles, "I bet poor mommy dear doesn't approve of her son's job, does she?" He walks over to the daggered tree and looks at it, examining it and lightly touching the daggers hilt.

"No, she did not, but she's dead now."

"What a shame." Kieran looks down at Petris with no smirk and no life in his eyes. No emotion at all. Kieran grabs a hold of the dagger and pulls it out of the tree without even a grunt. He crouches in front of Petris and puts the tip of the dagger against his Adam's apple. "There'll be no one to mourn you if you lie to me again."

Again?

Kieran stands and looks down at Petris with a maniacal smile and says, "Now, are you really going to tell me everything I wish to know? Because a minute ago, you lied to me." Kieran turns to face us and winks as he says, "I don't like liars at all."

Pip and I glance at each other, understanding where he's going.

I fake a psychotic giggle, "He's telling the truth." I hope that there's still blood surrounding my lips after I shifted back to my skin so I can really sell the psycho in me.

Pip looks at me gleefully and says, "Remember when that musician told him he'd play that song you both like so much and the musician forgot?"

I fake a groan, "We still haven't got all the blood out of that vest."

Petris loses all of his color, which isn't much considering how pale the people of Hybern seem to be, and turns to Kieran, "I promise, sir. I swear on my mother's soul that I will not lie to you."

Kieran rustles the man's light brown hair, "Good. Who do you work for?"

Petris looks down at his feet and Kieran moves the dagger closer to Petris' throat. Petris holds out his hands in surrender, "All right, no need to get bloody. I work for the crown prince. His name is Sebastian."

Kieran looks at the man with a crease between his brows, "The crown prince? There is no crown prince. The king had no children."

Petris shakes his head, "That is not true. The crown prince was born eight months after the war ended. His mother was not married to the king, she was a serving girl, but we all know that the boy is our prince. He has his father's power."

Kieran looks up at us with wide, terrified eyes, "Why did you and your men try to kill us?"

Petris shrugs, "The prince does not trust outsiders, he heard of you the moment you stepped foot on this land. He does not like the looks of you."

I cross my arms over my chest and ask, "He must be twenty now. Why is he still crown prince and not the king?" I know how this stuff works. There would have been a regent until the prince's sixteenth birthday when he would have become king.

"Because the king's sister is the queen. The boy is her heir now."

Kieran's eyes widen even more and he leans down, placing the dagger against Petris' throat again, "The king's sister, Androma?" My head immediately pops up. I know that name. I've heard it somewhere.

Petris nods.

Kieran stands up and walks around, muttering something under his breath. I nod to Pip to watch Petris as I walk over to Kieran and place a calming hand on his forearm, "Hey, what's wrong?"

Kieran stops and looks at me and I see undiluted terror in his eyes, "The king's sister. Androma. I've read stories about her. She's supposed to be in the prison."

The prison. The prison that no prisoner ever escapes from. "How is she free then?" I ask.

Kieran shakes his head, "I don't know. We need to go back home. To the Night Court." His hands clasp around my cheeks and he says, "We cannot be here. If she finds me, she will kill me, but if she finds you first . . . she'll do unspeakable horrors to you just to torture me."

I place a hand over his and squeeze, "Why? What did you do to her?"

He shakes his head, "Not me. My grandfather."

"Guys!" We hear Pip call and we run over in time to see Petris' face turning purple and his veins turning black. We both crouch down next to him and Kieran grabs his hand, trying to heal him, but to no effect.

Kieran looks at me, "He's too far gone. How did this happen?"

I survey him, before finding his fist closed around something. I open it easily, he doesn't put up much of a fight with his waning strength. There's a small bottle about the size of my thumb in his hand. I pick it up and show it to Kieran, "Poison?" I suggest.

Kieran groans as he looks at it, noting the few drops of purple liquid at the bottom, "Yeah, poison. Night berries. He must have taken it before I started talking to him."

I look at the man gasping for breath as his throat swells closed. "Can you get into his head and see what we need to see?"

Kieran nods.

"Do it. And then kill him, so he doesn't die in pain."

I reach up and wipe at my mouth with my sleeve, seeing blood staining the brown of my leathers, "Pip and I are going to wash up."

Kieran nods and Pip follows me as I make my way to the river nearby, stripping off my leathers and dipping myself into the freezing cold water. Pip follows.

"You were very brave back there. Have you ever fought anyone who was actually trying to kill you?" Pip asks.

I dunk my head under the water, letting my golden hair collect the water to clear away the dirt from the past few days as think about Pip's question. Have I ever fought anyone who was actually trying to kill me? I think of the golden claws that used to make me shiver and shake. I think of the fear that used to run down my spine every time emerald eyes grew cold as they stared at me. I think about my father. Who wasn't trying to physically kill me, but maybe he was trying to kill me another way.

So when I resurface I nod and whisper, "Yes." Before I start to scrub the dirt out of my hair.

Pip doesn't ask another question.

 

\-----

We sit around a campfire waiting for Kieran to finish washing the blood from his skin. I tear apart a piece of the rabbit I caught in my hawk form, eating it's now crispy leg.

A twig snaps and we both strand, ready to defend our little camp, only to see Kieran walking towards us, "Sorry, it's just me."

We both sit back down and peck at our food. Kieran sits next to me and eats bits and pieces of the rabbit as well, "I got the information from him. I'm not happy about what I've seen, but it's not terrible either." He turns to me and inclines his head as he says, "We just need to find your brother and get out of here as fast as we can. From what I can, Androma does not wish to fight us right now and that's the best we can hope for."

Pip nods before asking, "Why does she hate you?"

Kieran shrugs, "She hated my grandfather, so naturally she hates my family."

"Why?" I ask.

Kieran sighs and explains, "She was once in love with my grandfather. Very much in love. And he loved her, or what he considered to be love, but he found his mate, my grandmother, and broke off relations between himself and Androma. Broke her heart. She tried to kill him in his residence one night, but he was expecting her and had her sent to the prison. She was way too powerful for him to control and he didn't like it."

Pip groans, "Why is your family like the worst at making friends?"

Kieran fakes an offended face, "I'm great at making friends."

"You went to the Spring Court to make friends and you ended up stealing the High Lord's daughter and putting your sausage in her."

"Multiple times." I add.

"Multiple times." Pip adds with a smirk.

Kieran looks between us, "I knew putting you two together would be a bad idea."

\-----

Our boots scrape against the stone ground beneath us as we walk through the market with hoods covering our faces. We search the crowd for blond hair and golden skin, an unusual look for a person of Hybern since everyone here seems to have dark hair and pale skin.

I've shifted my eyes to the eyes of a hawk, hoping that it would help me catch sight of anything unusual. I note a mouse I see scurrying among a shopkeepers cheeses. I see a small thief, snatching an apple from right under a salesmen's nose. A fly, flying into the wine of pretentious looking High Fae.

But no golden hair.

I nearly gasp as I hear Kieran's voice inside my head, Sunshine, are you okay? You've been quiet since yesterday.

I answer, I'm fine. Just distracted.

By what?

I look over to find his violet eyes watching my every move, About how stalkerish you're being right now.

I'm concerned. Tell me what's going on. Please.

I sigh, Fine. I killed people yesterday and I think I enjoyed it.

They attacked us first.

I look up at the perpetually cloudy sky of Hybern, That's not the point, Kieran.

Then what is the point?

The point is that I killed people. I used my golden claws and looked down at them with cold green eyes. I killed them the way my father kills people. I killed them the way that my father kept killing me. Over and over again.

But he didn't kill you.

Not physically. But I was dead.

I look over at his hooded form and add, You brought me back to life.

You're worried you're turning into your father.

I nod.

I see his head shaking beneath his hood, Don't be. You could never be him.

Sending his own brother to the slaughter is something he would do.

I told you, if you don't want to go through with the plan then we can come up with a new way.

I nod, not knowing what other way there is.

I almost say that there is no other way when Pip interrupts, rushing towards and inclining her head towards a flower shop, "That's a blond right there." I follow her eyes and see a boy, a few years older than me, walking out of the flower shop with daisies in his hands. He smiles down at the flowers before heading towards a bookshop across the street, eyeing a pretty girl through the window as she puts away books. Eyeing her with emerald eyes.

The boy looks exactly like a younger, happier, version of my father. Golden hair glowing in the dim sun. Tan skin, standing out against his crisp white shirt. Emerald eyes. High cheek bones. He has my nose.

I take a step forward, nearly staggering, as he walks into the shop and sneaks up behind the girl and wraps his arms around her waist showing her the flowers with a proud smile. She giggles and turns around to kiss him.

"He's happy." I mutter. "He's happy. And he's kind." I shake my head. I look at Kieran and say, "To hell with the plan. If I have to kill my father, then so be it."


	28. Part 28

Lena

I start to walk towards the book shop when Kieran's hand finds my shoulder, drawing me back into the shadows.

I turn to him and whisper, "What?"

He nods towards the other side of the street where two men in heavy armor watch the people going about their daily business, but they're aren't just watching the people. They're scanning the people, searching for us.

"Shit." I mutter then I remember my particular skill set. I turn back to Kieran and Pip with a smirk as I say, "Stay here. Keep out of sight. I'll be back."

"You can't - " I shift into a completely different person - one with dark brown hair and pale skin, though my emerald eyes remain the same as they always do - effectively cutting off Kieran's sentence. He looks me over and sighs, "Go get 'em."

I smile and press a kiss against his cheek before turning, throwing my hood off, and walking across the street, not even glancing at the men who are supposed to be watching for me. I stroll across the street nodding to random people who nod back as if they've known me my whole life before walking into the book shop.

I can feel his magic as soon as I walk in. His magic calls to mine, singing for it. It's spring and flowers, sunshine and storms. I turn towards it immediately finding my brother's blond head as he leans down to peck his lover on the lips. Now that I'm here and less than five feet from him I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to say. What can I say? 'Hey, I'm your sister. I don't know your name, but you're the new heir to our father's throne. Congratulations!' Yeah, that totally won't freak him out.

I watch as he leans away from the girl and holds out a book to her, making some kind of joke that makes her laugh gleefully. Can I really ruin this happiness? I bite my lip before walking over there and saying, "Hello, do you have any good book recommendations?"

The girl narrows her eyes at me, obviously annoyed at being interrupted, but I focus my attention on my brother. I wish I knew his name. Damn it, Elain. A name would have been helpful.

My brother smiles, showing his pearly white teeth, "Well, there are quite a few good ones in this shop. It was Bell's father's shop so she'll probably know more about what's in here than me and what someone like you would like to read." He says and then inclines his head to the girl who nods, but she doesn't look too thrilled about it.

"Someone like me?" I ask before adding, "You mean a female?"

He nods with a blush spreading from embarrassment.

"What's your name?" I ask.

His mouth opens in an 'O' shape, flabbergasted or taken aback, before he says, "Leif."

"Well, Leif, we might have more in common than you think," I say before shifting into my own skin. He looks at me with wide eyes and Bell starts to walk backwards towards one of the bookshelves as I add, "Considering that I'm your sister."

Leif's eyes get even wider if it's possible, "My - my sister?" He stutters before shaking his head and backing away, "No, I don't have a sister."

"Maybe not by your mother, but by our father. Yeah, you definitely have a sister." I smirk and lift my shoulders in a shrug, "I'm surprised you only have one."

He shakes his head, "No. My father is - "

I cut him off, "Tamlin, High Lord of the Spring Court. I don't know who you think your father is, but he's not your birth father."

Leif's brow furrows, "Why would you think that?"

I snort, "Have you looked at yourself? You're not exactly Hybern material." I glance at his girlfriend, seeing her dark red hair, "Even her red hair is dark like the rest of them, but you, you're golden like the sun. Like spring."

"And don't you dare tell me that my magic doesn't feel familiar to yours."

His eyes widen and he gasps out, "You feel that too?"

I nod, "Of course. You are my brother. My big brother."

He starts to believe me. I see him taking a step forward, a little of his disbelief draining from his eyes until Bell steps forward, placing a hand on his shoulder, "She steps in here for five minutes, completely changes her appearance, and you believe her ramblings about you being her brother."

His eyes close and I can feel him starting to withdraw from me already so I step forward and bring a dead plant out of one my cloak's pockets. I knew I'd need some proof. The only proof of being a child of a High Lord of Spring is this.

"Bring it back." I say as I sit the tiny potted plant in his hands.

He stares at me with his eyebrows knitted together and I nod towards the plant, "Dip into your power. Think about the plant. Think about life, not death. Think about the plant as it was, with pretty petals as soft as silk and a stem as green as our eyes." I urgently say, "Bring it back."

He looks down at the plant and sighs before closing his eyes again and nothing happens. At first. But as he holds it and concentrates I start to feel his magic flowing through the room. I feel his magic caressing the plant and bringing it light and life until the plant is back to normal green with silky soft petals of white instead of a dead brown.

Leif opens his eyes and he smiles brightly before looking back up at me with tears in his eyes. I take a step forward, placing my hand on his upper arm and saying, "That's a trick our father taught me when I was little, only an heir of Spring could do that. You are my brother."

He nods and steps forward too, opening his arms for a hug, "I have a little sister." He scoops me into a large hug and asks, "Well, what's your name, little sister?"

Trying to hold back little tears of joy, I say, "Rosalena, but all my friends call me Lena." I realize that for the first time, I'm able to say that truthfully. All my friends do call me Lena. I actually have friends. And a big brother.

He squeezes me tightly before letting go and stepping back, "You're really short."

I giggle, "So I've heard."

Leif's lover, Bell, steps forward and looks me over, "Are you sure, Leif? Are you really sure?"

Leif nods, "I can feel it."

The girl nods and smiles at me, "Then I believe it too," She says before switching to a glare, "But if you're lying and you hurt him, I'll kill you."

I smile, liking this girl that's so eager to protect him, "I'll take that under advisement."

Leif smiles at the girl with a lightness in his eyes that reminds me of the way Kieran looks at me. I open my mouth to ask if they're mates when a scream breaks across the market square that I hear from in here. I turn to look out the windows to find Pip and Kieran fighting with those two guards in the square.

What's going on out there, Kieran? I ask.

Nothing. Stay there, sunshine.

You know I can't do that.

I turn back to Leif and his girl and say, "I'm sorry to cut this short, but I have to get out there to save my friend and my . . . well, my mate. Troublemakers."

Leif's eyes widen, "Mate?" He barks.

I nod before running outside and joining the fight as two more guards join. I kick and punch instead of ripping and tearing with my claws, not wanting to change into a ravenous animal in the middle of the market.

We finish the four guards easily, cheering with each other. And that's when the next fifty guards join us.

"K, if you used the killing power right now - "

Kieran shakes his head at Pip's suggestion, "My control over that isn't good enough. I'd end up killing everyone in this square, including you two."

I shake my head as well, "We can't kill innocents."

Pip looks at us both with wide eyes, "Then what's our plan? How do we get out of this?"

I raise my hands above my head and say, "Unless we winnow, we don't. I personally want to meet the queen and see what she has to say."

Pip and Kieran follow suit.

Pip doesn't like it though, she protests, "What if the queen kills us?"

Kieran shrugs, "Then we winnow."

"What if they take our magic?"

I shake my head, "We'll think of another way out."

I catch my brother's eye from inside the shop and see his green eyes blazing with magic and anger. His lover stands next to him, a hand on his shoulder to keep him calm. I nod to him, hoping to convey that it's all right and that he shouldn't come for me. I hope he doesn't come for me.

That's when a sharp pain bursts against my temple and my vision fades to darkness.

Kieran

I wake up in complete darkness, but being a Prince of Night has advantages like the ability to see in the dark better than most Fae who are usually very good at seeing in the dark. I look around seeing the stone walls of a cell. Hay covers the ground which I guess is supposed to be a mercy from the cold but it doesn't help much so I bring up some magic to keep myself warm. I'm surprised I still have magic.

A groan alerts me to someone in the corner, I turn my head to find Lena starting to sit up and open her eyes, "Damn, that hurts." She mutters.

She looks around, not liking what she sees before switching her normal green eyes to cat-like green eyes that she turns in my direction, "Hello." She says.

"You're all right?" I ask.

She nods.

We both turn as we hear a groan in the corner near the door. Pip immediately looks at both of us as she opens her eyes, "Damn it, guys. You got me thrown in prison. I suck at the prison life."

Lena and I glance at each other before moving towards her and I turn my heat up a bit so we can all be warm.

"Do you think this is Androma's doing or Sebastian's?" Lena asks.

I shrug, "Probably both."

Pip chuckles darkly, "That's fucking lovely."

Lena raises a brow, "Well, at least we still have our magic."

That strikes a chord in me. Why do we still have our magic? The first thing I'd do after getting three powerful prisoners would be to take their power. Something's not right. "I have a really bad feeling about this."

Pip smirks, "You too? I thought it was just me."

Then the sound of clanging turns our attention to the door. We scramble together as the door slams against the wall with a huge thud and a burly man with an impressive beard walks in, light from behind him casts a shadow on the hay floor in front of us.

Pip smiles slyly and whispers, "Big mistake, my friend." as she runs towards the man and goes in for a kick to his precious stones when he merely flicks her away with his arm.

"Pest." He sneers at her before turning back to us. "You are wanted in the dining hall by the queen. Now. Follow me."

Lena and I glance at each before nodding and following. Pip strolls along behind, searching the dungeon for possible escape roots. At least, I hope that's what she's doing. Either that or they hit her head a little too hard when we were captured.

We're lead up a set of stone stairs and through multiple halls decorated by dark murals of blood and death. Lena nods towards one that pictures my aunt Nesta's disembodied head at the feet of who I can only assume is the late King Hybern. Guess they're still sore about that.

The burly guard in front of us finally stops in front of a door. He gestures to the door and orders, "Go in."

I open the door and lead the way into a room booming with the noises of drunken Fae and beating drums. Lena follows behind me and she shakes her head. Her voice fills my head, We should have winnowed out, I'm sorry. I don't like this, Kieran. I don't like this one bit.

I don't either, sunshine.

I jump when a silvery voice fills the room, "Ah, you're here, finally! Kieran, heir to the Court of Night." My eyes follow the voice to find a beautiful woman with ebony hair and haunting eyes staring down at me from a throne of bones. So this is Androma. She smiles excitedly and claps her hands as she sees Lena. "Oh, and his lady love, Rosalena, heir to the Court of Spring. How enchanting, such a rare beauty."

I immediately place myself in front of Lena. Lena promptly elbows me in the ribs and stands at my side. Pip stands behind us, staring at the crowd. Her eyes search the room for something, anything.

I look around and notice that all the eyes are on me, including the queen's, though some of the men's eyes linger on Lena and I find a growl rising in me. "Why are we here, my lady?" I ask, trying for civility.

She laughs shrilly before saying, "You're here because you invaded my kingdom, dear boy. And I want to know why."

"Are you scared we plan to attack?"

The queen's brow furrows, "Why no, that would be a stupid idea. I don't believe your father to be a stupid man. Is he?"

I shake my head, "No, he is not."

"Good, that would be quite dull; not to mention pointless as my people have no query with yours." She smiles down at us and I don't for a second believe a single word that's come out of her mouth, but I do believe that I can manage to negotiate our release.

"Indeed, and they won't ever if you just let us go."

The queen nods vaguely, "Of course, of course, but I would still like to know why you are here."

Lena glances at me and I nod slightly so she takes a step forward, "May I explain that, mi'lady?"

"Such manners, coming from the daughter of a traitor." Lena flinches slightly but keeps her head high. "Of course, you may explain."

Lena nods graciously, "Thank you. Well it's simply this, I do not wish to be the heir of Spring anymore and I recently discovered that I have a half-brother here in Hybern. I would like to retrieve him so he can begin his training as heir immediately."

The queen purses her lips before gesturing to Lena, "And did you find him, earlier?"

Lena nods, "I did."

Androma's nods slightly before cocking her head to the side, resting her cheek on her fist, "Hmm . . . this is a conundrum of sorts."

I step forward with narrowed eyes, "Why? Why would this be a conundrum?"

"Well, you see, the citizens of Hybern belong to me."

Lena glances at me with wide eyes before returning her gaze to the queen, "Meaning what, exactly?"

The queen rolls her eyes as if Lena's question was a stupid one, "Meaning, of course, that if you take one back to Prythian you will be stealing from me and it will incite a war."

Lena's eyes narrow and her shoulder's tighten. She tightly says, "But, mi'lady, you could also say he belongs to the Spring Court as he is the son of the High Lord."

The queen smiles slyly, "Ah, but does he not have a mate?" Lena pales immediately. "If you take him, you must take his mate and his mate is not belonging to Prythian therefore you would be stealing her."

Lena's hands curl into fists, "They are people, not objects, your majesty. You cannot just hold them as yours."

Androma's hand finds her chin, "Ah, but can't I?" The queen stands and walks down the steps in front of her throne so her and Lena are standing face to face, eye to eye. "But I'll make a deal with you, yes? You like deals, don't you?"

Lena doesn't answer but Androma continues, "If you can defeat my nephew, Sebastian, in a dual I'll let you have them both."

I nod and step forward, "I accept."

Androma shakes her head and makes a tsking noise, "Ah ah ah, I was talking to your mate."

Lena crosses her arms over her chest, "May I see your nephew before I decide if I can fight him or not? For all I know he could be a behemoth."

Androma chuckles darkly, "Why of course, my dear. Sebastian, step forward."

A man with black hair and black eyes stands from a bench nearby and walks towards the queen. He's dressed in a fine tunic and nice pants. He isn't nearly as tall as me though he's about average for a normal male. He's slender, not a warrior, more rogue-like. From what I can see, Lena could take him easily, but looks can be deceiving. Strength is not the only thing that wins a battle.

He inclines his head to Lena in a show of respect and blinks at me. He completely ignores Pip as everybody as has.

But Pip steps forward, "Is the lady not allowed to have a champion step forward for her?"

Androma sneers at Pip, "What concern is it to you, bastard-born?" I almost step forward to command Androma to show Pip the respect she deserves, but I know that Pip would kill me for that. No one commands respect for her but her.

Pip cocks her head, "She is my lady and I request that I be her champion." Interesting, Pip basically just declared to be Lena's sword-woman. Her warrior to call upon.

Lena smiles thankfully at Pip, but the queen only cackles, "No. The lady has to fight for herself. That is the way of Hybern."

Pip starts to step forward, but Lena holds out a hand, stopping her. "Alright, do I get my weapons back?"

The queen snaps her fingers and Lena's weapons appear out of thin air and clamber to the floor at Lena's feat with loud clings. Lena stoops and picks them out, sliding her sword and dagger into their proper places on her belt.

"If I fight and win, we get to leave your castle and safely take my brother and his mate out of the kingdom of Hybern? This is the deal, yes?"

The queen nods, "It's smart of you to add that you get to leave the castle, very smart. And yes, that is the deal."

"Then I accept. Are there any rules I should know about?"

The queen shrugs, "It's not a fight to the death, so don't kill your opponent."

"Is magic allowed?"

Sebastian chuckles darkly, "If you find it useful."

Lena smirks, "Oh, I do."

Lena turns back to Pip and I and smiles, "I have this, easy."

I grab her wrist and stare down at her, "I thought so too, but do not think this an easy challenge. Something's not right, why would she make him your opponent when she obviously has better warriors in place?" I ask, remembering the man who led us here. A burly warrior in place of the scrawny man in front of us.

Pip bites her lip, "He's better than he looks," She shrugs and points to herself and Lena, "but so are we. Everyone thinks we're weak because we're females, but we're not. You have this, Lena."

Lena smiles at the confidence in Pip's voice, but also nods to me with concern in her eyes, "I won't let my guard down, I promise. He will not win."

"Good, now go win so we can get out of here."

She nods and follows the queen and her nephew to a set of stairs behind the queen's throne. The stairs lead down into a pit. The floor of the pit is packed in dirt and the walls are a light stone stained with blood. So far, this castle has an A+ in decorating.

Sebastian and Lena walks down the stairs and the queen waves Pip and I forward so we can watch the fight as well.

When Lena and Sebastian reach the bottom of the stairs and stand in the middle of the pit the queen yells, "Let the dual begin!"

This is going to be interesting.

Lena

This Sebastian guy looks like a shrimp compared to Kieran. He doesn't look at all like a warrior, not even close to the large Illyrians, but I'm not underestimating him. What he doesn't have in strength, he has in speed. I can tell. I'm the same way.

When the queen yells for the dual to begin, neither of us makes the first move. We circle each other, assessing each other for weaknesses. His footwork is neat and precise. His hands aren't shaking. His sword and dagger are held correctly. I almost don't notice any weaknesses, until I see him shifting his arm, stretching it. So his left arm might be weaker than his right, maybe he has a slight tinge of pain in his shoulder. Interesting.

He speaks as he watches me circle him, "You are very beautiful. Bright and colorful unlike the girls here. They're all pale and dull."

"Thank you." I say though I don't meet his eyes, that would require losing sight of his sword.

He takes a step forward intending to strike, but my sword bats his away. "Your beauty is lost on that barbarian of a mate."

"Barbarian?" I thrust my sword forward, trying to nick his shoulder, but his sword blocks my way, "Do you mean my mate, the prince of Night? He is as much a barbarian as you or I."

He smirks as he swipes his sword in front of him and I jump back, narrowly missing a swipe across my stomach, "And you believe I'm not a barbarian?"

"I believe that you're as much a barbarian as I am." I step forward and swipe, my sword slicing through the cloth of his shirt and the skin on his wrist. Blue blood dribbles to the dirty ground. I smirk, "And I, sir, am a very ruthless barbarian."

He snarls and skips forward, thrusting his sword towards my neck, but my sword and dagger catch his in a cross and I push back, sending him jumping back a step. "Why do you think magic is useless?" I ask as I watch him regain his composure.

His onyx eyes narrow, "In a fight, it can be distracting."

"That's the point, to distract your enemy."

Our swords clang together as he says, "Ah, but your type of magic is distracting to you, is it not? When you change into an animal and feel its primal needs surging through you? A lioness's blood lust? A hawk's need for prey? You feel it all, don't you? And in a fight that is not to the death, blood lust is not a good thing."

I growl and shift my sword, trying to swipe at his thigh, but he jumps back and tsks at me. "I know how to control the blood lust."

"Do you?"

"Would you like to find out?" I ask as I swipe my lioness's nails out.

He looks genuinely curious that's when I take him by surprise and run towards him screaming and shoving into his left shoulder, when I'm behind him I kick out his knee. He falls to his knees and I put my forearm around his neck, scratching my claws against his beating pulse.

"I think that's enough - "

Suddenly I'm on my back and he's standing over me with his sword at my neck. I gulp and raise my hands as if docile, but when a victorious smiles lights his face and he looks up to his aunt I shift into an ant. He looks down to find nothing in my place. No sees me. To them it looks like I just disappeared, winnowed maybe, but no. 

I'm right in front of him.

I shift back and slash him across the face with my claws as he shrieks in surprise. He claws at his face where five small streaks now rake across his cheek. I wrap my leg around his and pull, making him fall to the ground. I sit on top of him, kicking away his sword and dagger and putting my own up against his throat while my knees pin his arms to the ground.

"You have no moves left, little prince." I whisper.

He sighs, "I surrender."

"What?" I ask, wanting him to say it loud enough for his aunt to hear.

"I surrender!" He yells.

I stand and offer him a hand up, "Good."

I winnow up to the queen, though it makes me slightly dizzy, and say, "I'll be taking my companions and we'll be leaving to find my brother now."

The queen smiles as if she hasn't lost tonight. Why is she smiling? "Alright, my dear. Please leave now before I back out of the deal because of what you did to my poor nephew's handsome face."

I nod and Kieran grabs my wrist and Pip's and we're winnowing out and back to the village.

I immediately run back to the bookshop to find Leif pacing across the length of the room with his hands in his hair and Bell watching him with an annoyed expression.

"Stop pacing, you're wearing a hole in my father's carpet."

He rolls his eyes at her. "Abella, really? You're worried about your father's carpet right now! My sister's - "

I step out of the shadows and say, "Right here."

Leif smiles widely and rushes over to clap me on the shoulder, "Good, what happened? I was worried."

"I met the queen. She's terrible, by the way. Made me fight her nephew. He's a shrimp."

Abella sighs, "You should not talk about them that way, they have spies everywhere."

"Yeah, well, it doesn't really matter now. We're leaving soon." I turn my attention back to Leif, "And I was hoping you would join us. Me. I was hoping you would join me."

His smile fades. "Join you? In Prythian?"

I nod and stutter, "Yeah - yeah, I mean, it's where you belong. In the Spring Court and it's a lot better than here. There's all sorts of people. Humans and High Fae and lesser fae all working together and being happy and I just - I just thought you'd like to come."

He smiles excitedly, but then he looks at Bell and frowns, "But Bell's here. I can't leave her."

I punch his shoulder lightly, "Why do you think I had to fight the prince? So she could come with us. If you both wanted to come."

Bell lights up, "You fought the prince for me?"

I nod.

"And we can leave?"

I nod again.

Bell looks at Leif and they both nod, "Alright, we're in." She says, "Let me pack some things."

She turns away and walks into a room in the back.

Leif's eyes follow her before turning back to me.

"She's your mate, huh?"

He nods.

"How'd you two meet?"

He chuckles, "Oh, we've known each other forever, but we only starting seeing each other as . . . more when we were fifteen. Some boys were catcalling her while she was walking home and I saw it from across the street. I instantly knew that it was unwanted attraction." He shakes his head, "And I was so angry that I ran across the street and said, 'You'd better leave her alone or I'm going to pummel your sorry asses into the ground.'

"They ran, knowing that I was prone to fighting and winning."

I chuckle, "It's a family trait."

He nods, "Well, she said, 'I could have gotten rid of them myself.' I answered with 'Well, then why didn't you?' she was being stubborn and said, 'Maybe I like the attention.' And I - "

Bell walks in with a bag strapped across her back and a smirk on her face, "And he had the reddest of blushes on his golden cheeks as he said, 'Well, you can get that kind of attention from better than the likes of them.' And I asked, 'Wherever from?' And he kissed me right there without any warning."

Leif blushes and I can tell there's more to the story, "And?" I prompt.

Bell smiles as she kisses his cheek, "And I slapped him across the face."

"And then you kissed me back."

Bell nods, "That I did."

I open my mouth to say something else when Kieran and Pip rush in, "Guys, can we please leave? I don't like the looks of some of the guards." Pip says while glancing behind her.

We all nod. I say, "We're ready." Kieran nods and grabs my wrist and grab Leif's who grabs Bell and Pip grabs Kieran and Bell. We all melt into darkness as we winnow away to where ever Kieran's taking us.


	29. Part 29

Lena

When the darkness clears and we're no longer tumbling through space or whatever it is you do when you winnow, I grab a hold of the closest thing to me to steady myself. Why do I get winnowsick? It's like the most convenient way to travel.

I reopen my eyes and look around, searching for a clue as to where we are. We're not in Velaris, I know that. Kieran would never winnow us there with two strangers in tow, even if one of the strangers is my brother. It's not the cabin, we can't winnow into the cabin.

"Kieran, where are we?" I ask as I look around the palace that I'm standing in, trying to search my memory for a time when he could have mentioned this place.

"It's the palace above the Hewn City." Seeing my look of confusion, he adds, "We don't stay here very often and it's not home like Velaris is."

"Why'd you bring us here?"

He shrugs. "It's easy to winnow into."

Pip yawns, "Well, I like it here. Throw in a couple throw pillows and you've got yourself the perfect holiday getaway."

Leif and Bell watch us with furrowed brows and narrowed eyes. I forgot that they haven't even met Pip and Kieran and I haven't even bothered to introduce them. I wave towards my brother and his mate and say, "Leif and Bell, meet Kieran and Pip."

Leif and Bell nod, though they still watch my friends cautiously. Especially when Kieran steps forward menacingly then pulls them both into a ferocious hug, "It's great to meet you."

When he releases them, they eye Pip suspiciously and she grins, "Don't expect a hug from me."

They both nod and Leif says, "You must be the best friend." And then he turns a narrowed eye on Kieran, "And you must be the mate."

Keiran nods. "That would be me."

"Uh huh." Leif turns away from Kieran and smiles widely at me, "So, when am I going to me this illusive father of ours?"

Kieran and Pip turn towards me with wide eyes. I get it, guys. I should have told him about our father before we left, but I'm a bit of a coward. Now, I have to tell him. And I have to do it alone.

"Actually, can we have a moment alone, Leif? Just you and me." I ask hopefully.

Kieran and Pip walk out of the room, probably heading to the kitchen to calm their grumbling stomachs. Bell hesitates, waiting for Leif's opinion. She'll go if he wants her to. I hope he wants her to. I want this to be private.

"Go on, love. I'll see you in a bit." Bell nods and walks out, but not before she sends a wary glance my way. She still doesn't trust me. That's okay. I'll earn her trust.

I sigh as I lower myself into a comfortable chair nearby and look at the floor below. I can feel Leif's eyes on me as I gather my thoughts. "Why did you want a moment alone? What are you dreading telling me?"

My eyes find him again as his questions penetrate my thoughts. "I told you that you were the son of High Lord Tamlin." He opens his mouth to ask a question when I add, "And you are, but I didn't tell you that it's not a good thing to be Tamlin's child. It's not something to be proud of. And you're never - we're never going to get the father that we deserve."

Leif's brows furrow and he walks over to me, sinking to his knees in front of me and saying, "What are you talking about?"

I sigh. "If only I had Kieran's powers, I could just show you everything and then you'd understand." I grimace as the thought of what I'm about to do jumps across my mind. Do I want to do this? No. Do I have to do this? Yes.

I pull up my sleeve and show Leif my burnt forearm. He gasps as he looks at it, placing a trembling hand on the warped skin, "Who did that?"

"He said it was an accident, and yet I wasn't allowed to let my magic heal it so I wouldn't have a scar. I was never allowed to use my magic."

"Our father did this?"

I nod and pull my arm away from his hand, lifting the hem of my blouse up just a bit so he can see the scars that now line my side. "A parting gift, from the night I left the Spring Court manor." I say.

"Why are you showing me this?"

I grab his hands and pull them close to me, dragging him closer so he has no choice but to look at me. "Because, our father is a High Lord and he wants me to stay in Spring. I can't. I can't leave my mate. And as long as he's alive, our father will never let me be with Kieran. Ever. Unless I bring you to him. Then he'll settle for giving me away."

Leif starts to protest but I silence him as I say, "That's not happening. I won't subject you to that kind of abuse. I swear to you, but you have to promise me something."

Leif's eyes widen as I whisper, "Promise me that if anything should happen to me you will take care of Kieran, make sure he doesn't do something stupid." Leif starts to shake his head but I continue, "Even if he slits my throat from ear to ear, you promise me that you will make sure Kieran lives. Promise me."

He blinks away the wetness that's started to line his eyes, "I promise, sister."

I nod. "Good." I pull him into a hug and try not to sob against his chest. "Good."

The door bursts open, knocking against the wall, as Kieran walks in, "Lena, my family is here."

I nod and put myself together, pushing my sleeve down and fixing my ragged hair. "That's good, maybe they'll have some insight on how we should proceed."

Leif trails after me as I follow Keiran out of the room and through the halls to the library where Kieran's family sits in random places. Aedon in a gigantic chair reading an old history book while Stella stands behind the chair and randomly plucks at his hair, hiding behind the chair when he gets angry and searches for the perpetrator. Rhys and Feyre sitting in chairs next to each other, holding hands and laughing about something. Azriel and Elain stand in a corner, whispering about something, while Cassian and Nesta glare at each other from across a table. Pip and Bell awkwardly stand near the door we walked through.

"We're here. Time to get this going." Rhys and Feyre straighten up at their son's voice.

Cassian jumps up and runs across the room, pulling me into a hug so I tight I can barely breathe. "Tiny! Pip told me all about how you beat up that prince in Hybern?" He drops me and holds out a fist, I bump mine against his and he chuckles. "I knew you were a badass."

Rhys raises a brow at Cass and Cassian shrugs before rejoining Nesta.

"So this is Tamlin's other child?" Feyre asks, staring intently at Leif.

Leif nods, "So I'm told, m'am."

Elain speaks up from her corner, "That's him. The son of Spring."

Rhys smirks, "Sure does look like him. Okay, so why isn't he in Tamlin's capable hands right now?"

I wrap my arms around myself. "I couldn't bring myself to force anyone else into that life."

Rhys smiles, "Good, I knew you'd make the right decision." He rests his chin on his fist as he asks, "So what the new plan?"

I shrug. "I was hoping you'd tell me."

Cassian speaks up, "The only other plan is to kill Tamlin."

I shake my head. "I'm not a murderer." I say even as the faces of those men I killed in Hybern flash in my brain. "I won't kill him."

Leif puts a hand on my shoulder and whispers, "After what he did to you no one would judge you for - "

"I won't kill him." I say more forcefully. "If you want to then go for it, but I think that we should have a different course of action."

Nesta watches me with careful eyes, assessing me, "Like what?"

"Is there any way to take away a High Lord's power? To make the power move on to the next High Lord?" I ask, knowing that there isn't but hoping that I'm wrong.

Rhys shakes his head, "No, that's not possible - "

But Aedon looks up from his book and cuts his father up, "Of course there is."

Every pair of eyes turns to him as he slams his book shut and lays it on the table next to his chair. He stands and walks around the room, searching the high piles of books for a certain book. He pauses all of a sudden and turns to us, "Why are you all staring at me?"

"They're waiting for an explanation, you dumble bat!" Stella says as she rolls her eyes.

"Oh." Aedon says and walks to where his parents are sitting and grabs a book from off the shelf behind them. He opens it up and skims through the pages for a moment before laying it in his father's lap. "The Right of the Invoking."

Aedon looks up and says, "I read that book last year, I remember it well. It was quite entertaining. The most entertaining part was about the Right of the Invoking. A High Lord of Night was being a very bad man, killing lots of people and stuff. His heir was a bit of a softy and didn't want to kill his own father. So the heir called upon the other High Lords and having them create away for him to be the High Lord while his father still lived."

"This is a myth, Aedon. Nothing more." Rhys says and starts to close the book.

"Myths don't come with instructions, Dad."

That has me rushing towards the book and looking down at the page, reading the so-called instructions. I nod as I look them over. This could work. It could definitely work. I glance over to Aedon, "How many times has this been done?"

"Twice."

"Were they successful?"

He nods.

That's enough for me. "We're doing it."

Kieran opens his mouth and starts to say something but I cut him off, "This is my choice, Kieran. We're doing it. Anybody who wants to talk me out of it can save their breath." I say as I walk out of the room, heading for the room we arrived in.

Kieran winnows in front of me and grabs my hand, leading me through the halls and into a bedroom. Locking the door behind him, he pulls me against his chest and kisses me. Holding me tightly, his hands fist into the fabric at my back as my fingers twine themselves through his hair.

When he pulls back I breathlessly ask, "What was that for?"

"Just in case, I don't get to later."

"Why wouldn't you?"

"Because you're going through with a stupid plan that might not work and if it doesn't work he'll kill you." Ah, so that's what this is about.

"I'll be fine." My hands find his cheeks and I drag his forehead down to mine. "If the plan doesn't work, then I'll kill him. I promise. I'll be fine."

He pulls back and looks into my eyes with an intent look, "Are you sure? Are you capable of doing that?"

I nod. "I am."

"Good." He mutters as he pecks me on the nose. His lips move down to mine and I kiss him back earnestly before they move down across my chin and down my neck. Lower and lower.

"What are you doing?"

"Just kissing you, sunshine."

My fingers find the hem of my shirt and I slowly drag it over my head. "Do continue."

He chuckles and hoists me up, carrying me across the room and throwing me on the bed. "I think I will."

\-----

I don't sleep much. Kieran sleeps with an arm wrapped around my stomach, but my eyes won't fall closed. My mind races with every possible outcome of what's going to happen today. I think I lied to Kieran earlier. I might not be fine.

If this plan doesn't work, my father will kill me before I can even lift a blade. That's fine, I guess. I'd prefer to live, but as long as I go out knowing that I tried everything then I can at least die in peace.

My eyes open and they land on one of my daggers. A dagger with a jeweled hilt. Kieran brought it to the Summer Court and gave it to me there as a late mating present. It's what I'll use tomorrow. A dagger to draw the blood of the High Lord. I'll draw blood alright. As long as my father doesn't open his foul mouth, I won't take all his blood.


	30. Part 30

Lena

I wake up in the morning having barely slept but feeling energized. I'm ready to get this over with. I'm ready to end this chapter of my story. I just hope everything works out alright.

"Sunshine, are you sure you want to do this?" Kieran asks for the millionth time as he fastens the straps of my leathers while I work on sharpening my multiple blades, with luck only one cut by one blade will be all we need.

I nod and force my lips to form a smile. "If it's the only way for me to keep my brother safe, keep you and me together, and keep me from having to kill my father then I want to try." Kieran nods but he purses his lips in a familiar expression that tells me that he's about to argue with me about something. "What are you wanting to say, but not wanting to say to me?" I ask.

Kieran's eyes meet mine in the mirror in front of us as he works on the back straps that go across the shoulder blades. "What if it doesn't work?" He asks, voicing the question that I hate the answer to. "What if this is just a fairy tale that some troll recorded as a joke and nothing happens? What are we going to do?" I can hear the concern in his strangled voice.

I sigh. "We aren't going to do anything." I say. I'm allowing him to come with Leif and I today because he'll freak out otherwise, but he will not get involved; as much as he is my family, Kieran has no business in the family matters we'll be . . . discussing today. "If things don't go as planned, Leif and I will handle it. I will kill my father if this plan doesn't work and Leif will hold you back." I turn in his arms and grab his biceps with my small hands, his large muscle dwarfing my palms. "Well, he'll try to hold you back."

Kieran shakes his head, placing his hands on each my cheeks and stroking lightly. His violet eyes burn with a fiery passion as he says, "Not even the Cauldron itself could hold me back if you were in danger."

I rise up on my tiptoes and plant a kiss on his cheek. "I know, and that's why I want to ask you again to just go home to Velaris while Leif and I do this," He opens his mouth to argue with me but I continue, "I want you out of the line of fire."

Kieran pulls my face closer to his and lands a searing kiss on my mouth, murmuring against my lips, "If you're in the line of fire, I'm in the line of fire."

I wide smile starts to break out on my face before I shake myself awake. I don't want him to say that. I want him to stay home. I want him to be safe and away from my father's wicked claws. "Well then, I guess Pip really is coming."

Kieran's eyes widen. "What?"

"If you're going, Pip's going." I say simply as I pull my hair up into a bun and away from my face. Rule number one about fighting for girls, never wear your hair down or in a ponytail or braid. It's so easy to access. Someone gets a good grab of your hair they can yank you around like a freaking rag doll.

"Why Pip?" Kieran asks.

I shrug. "Because she's sworn herself to me. She's my guardian, not that I need one." Cauldron, that sounds cocky, but it's true. Pip is my guardian in name only; I would call her an adviser, but an adviser of what? I don't have an army or anything.

Kieran glowers sulkily before saying, "Fine, but if you get in trouble she's not allowed to help you before me, deal?"

I roll my eyes. Male pride. "Fine."

\-----

I didn't expect much of a greeting as we winnowed into the yard outside the Spring Court's manor. I didn't expect a greeting at all, but I was thoroughly surprised when I see absolutely no one outside the manor. I don't like this.

Pip takes an exaggerated sniff of the air before lowly singing, "This smells trappy."

I furrow my brow. Where are the guards? Where are the maids? Where are the people? I look at the garden surrounding us and see that the flowers and bushes are wilted. The wind flowing around us has a slightly acrid tinge to it. The skies are dark, greying with thunder clouds. I've seen this before. My father can sometimes be in moods so foul that it transforms the Court's landscape int o something hateful and hollow.

"What is going on?" I whisper silently before nodding back at my friends and saying, "Let's keep going, he's bound to be in his throne room."

We creep silently through the barren grounds and up to the foreboding manor. Cauldron, once my father's out of here and Leif is the High Lord I'm going to coerce him into making his first decree to demolish this building and build a fresh building somewhere else. This place has too many memories, some good but most are bad.

We make it inside the house with no interference. Seriously, where are the guards and servants? I've never seen my father in such a foul mood that he sent his guards and servants away. What got his goat this time?

As silent as we try to be, our footsteps still clack against the tiled floors as we make our way to the large doors that open into the throne room. I hate that room so much. I stop right in front of the doors and reach forward, slowing trying to open the door. My hands tremble as I realize that my father waits on the other side. Can I do this? I don't know. I've never been able to raise a fist to him before. I could barely raise my voice to him.

I warm hand clasps around my trembling hand and I smile gratefully at Leif who smiles back kindly and patiently, knowing that this is a big moment for me. Pip's hand finds the center of my back, rubbing a comforting circle to ease out some tension. I feel complete when Kieran's hand grasps my empty hand, entwining our fingers together.

You can do this, sunshine. Kieran whispers into my mind, sending feelings of pride down the bond.

"If anyone can do this it's you, sis." Leif says.

"Fiercest girl I know." Pip says.

I nod gratefully. "Thank you, guys." I turn to Leif and smile sardonically. "It's time to meet Dad." He drops my hand and I reach forward twisting the knob and pushing the door open.

I walk in first with the others following behind me.

There's no one here. That's my first thought. Or is there? Is my second thought.

I look around, searching the shadows and the tapestries. I try to find anything that could be . . . I see it. A ladybug crawling along a red rose in a tapestry. Not really Father's style, but lions weren't really my style a month ago either.

"Come on out, Father. I know you're there." I call out, staring right at the little crawling ladybug.

It flies off the center of the tapestry and lands in the middle of the room before shifting into the handsome, golden male that is my father. "Your eyes have improved, Rosalena," He looks me up and down, sneering at my leathers, "I can't say that your fashion sense has though."

I roll my eyes. His insults, which would have hurt me a while ago, hold no sway on me now. "I've learned a few things. Appearances aren't all that matter, Father."

He doesn't seem to care about my mouth reply instead his eyes have landed on Leif and they aren't leaving him. "So is this him?" He asks in a soft, sweet voice he never used with me. "Is this my son?"

He starts to take a step forward, towards Leif but I step in front of my brother, preparing to defend him. "You are his father, as you are mine, but he is not your son, like I am not your daughter."

My father raises a brow. "I think you forgot how this works, Rosalena. We made a deal, you uphold the deal."

I nod as if I'm playing along. "I could. It would be the easiest thing for everybody involved, except Leif, but I'm not going to hand him over to you."

My father chuckles. "Then what are you here for? Are you going to kill me? Your own flesh and blood?"

I seemingly weigh what he's said as I start taking steps forward. Step after step I get closer to him until I'm right in front of him, looking up at him in what I hope is an imposing way that makes him feel small.

My hands go behind my back, in a practiced position that makes me look like the demure lady that he always taught me to be. "I could do that as well." I say softly, nodding in thought. "But, even though a small part of me wants to see your blood on my claws, I don't want to kill you." My green eyes meet his and I whisper, "Was there ever a time when I was more than just a pawn to you? Was there ever a time when I was just your daughter and you loved me? Was there ever a time when you would have died rather than hurt me?"

He nods slowly. "But that part of me died with your mother."

I feel tears pooling in my eyes. "I missed her too. I was the last piece of her you had!" My sword hand grasps the hilt of the dagger hidden in the waistband of my pants. "And you tossed me around like I was garbage."

He explodes. The throne on the dais turns in to shrapnel, and I hear Kieran yelling my name but I'm too focused on the silvery tears lining my father's eyes. I've never seen him cry before. I focus on his words as he says, "She was my mate. My one reason for living and she died painfully and I have to continue on with my life for as long as my miserable eternity takes without her, but that's not even the most painful part."

He looks down at me with eyes so full of hatred but also love that the breath leaves me and my hand nearly falls away from the jeweled hilt of my dagger. "The most painful, the most torturous, part is that I had to live everyday seeing your face. Her face only with my coloring." He spits the worst thing he could possible say, "You were torture to even be near, especially as you grew. So forgive me if I wanted to get rid of you as soon as possible while it still being in advantage to my people. Forgive me if I wanted you to stay as far away from me as fucking possible."

I almost fall to my knees. I always thought my father's cruelty spawned from disinterest and a temper that nobody could handle, but it was only hatred all along. My knees start to feel wobbly when I feel Kieran pushing his love for me down the bond. That reminds me of something that I've learned along the past few weeks. You can choose your family. The man who raised me is not my family. My family is Kieran and Pip and Kieran's family, even Nesta, and Leif and his mate. I choose them and I don't care that this man has hated me for the better part of my life because he is not my family.

So I swipe the dagger out of my waistband and slice it across his chest, right over his heart, not deep enough to kill but deep enough to do the job. As the shock registers across his face, I slice the dagger over my own heart before throwing it to Leif who does the same, wincing slightly.

He comes forward and takes my hand before grabbing one of my father's and I grab the other. I nod to Leif, this is his now. "I am Leif, heir to the Spring. In accordance to the ancient Right of the Invoking, I hereby take the power of the High Lord from Tamlin due to his crimes and his negligence of his people's needs." Leif repeats the words written in the book from last night, only varying with the names and the crimes.

I release my father's hands immediately. That should be all. I look at Leif and see nothing changing. Please let it work.

Leif looks at me sorrowfully and shakes his head. "I don't think it worked, sis."

I shake my head. Even with the confession of my father's hatred for me, I don't wish to kill him. I don't want to be that kind of person. I don't want to have death hanging over my shoulder.

"It has to be working." I say before taking his hand again. "Let's try again."

Kieran shakes his head from where he's standing. "That's not how it works, Lena. Remember what Aedon said when we went over it this morning."

You only have one shot.

Leif grabs the dagger I had thrown to him and says, "I'll do it, Lena."

I shake my head and fold my hands over him, gently taking the dagger from his hand. "It's not your place, big brother." His eyes meet mine and he nods, understanding that it has to be me who does this.

I take my dagger and hold it in a trembling hand, preparing for a fight that I'm terrified I won't win, but when I turn back to my father I see a broken man. He's on his knees now. His head down so he can stare at the floor. "Just do it."

"What?" The word comes out in a broken whisper. As much as I hate my father, I want him to fight me back. I want him to roar and scratch and claw at me for his life. I want him to be the lively force he used to be. 

I don't want to see him broken.

He looks up at me and I see it. Heartbreak in those eyes that are identical to mine. Not just heartbreak, but longing. So much longing. "Do it. I want to go. I want to be with her again. Araxie, my beautiful butterfly." I sink to my knees in front of him, feeling sympathy for someone I've never felt anything but contempt for.

His hand grasps my trembling one and pulls it closer to him, pointing the shaking dagger tip against the easiest place to slide a knife into his heart. "It's time for me to see her again, there's nothing left for me here, little flower."

I gasp in shock at the nickname. I haven't heard it in years, not since . . . not since that last bedtime story before I woke up to find I'd lost my mother and my father with her. His eyes meet mine and he nods.

I push the dagger in while holding his gaze. I hold his gaze until he falls to the floor lifeless. I hold his gaze until I feel arms surrounding me and pulling me away. That's when I realize that tears are flowing down my cheeks. 

He was in there. The father that used to hold me and read me fairy tales in animated voices until I fell asleep. The father that used to let me ride around on his shoulders as he did business around the house. The father that used to take my mother and I on picnics where we would chase butterflies. That father was in there, so deeply buried beneath that hatred and anger and sorrow. He was in there.

Suddenly, I feel lightheaded as something surges into me some fountain of power that I've never felt before. I almost scream in exhilaration is feels like . . . I don't even know how to describe it. I'm euphoric. This feelings is dazing my senses and throwing more and more power into me until suddenly it stops and I shake away the daze and lightheadedness to look over at my friends who are staring at me with wide eyes.

"What?" I grumble, wiping at my eyes to clean away the tears.

Kieran opens his mouth to try and say something but it doesn't come out. Pip doesn't look like she knows how to say anything. It's Leif who answers. "It's you."

I frown. "What?"

"It's you, sunshine." Kieran whispers. He crouches down next to me and says, "You're the High Lady of Spring."

His words don't register with my brain for a moment before I sputter and stare unbelievably at him. I look at Leif and say, "It's obviously you. No female has ever been born into being the High Lady of a Court."

Pip regains control of herself and smirks, "No female before you." She walks forward and grabs one of my hands. "I knew you were going to be special."

I start to shake my head when Kieran's family pops into the room; well, his mother, father, sister, and brother pop into the room. It's not the whole family but it's enough.

Rhys looks at Tamlin's body with little more than indifference. Feyre looks at him with something akin to regret, he might have hurt her but she was hoping for his salvation. Stella and Aedon don't notice the body, instead they find an interesting tapestry to investigate.

Rhys then looks right at me, analyzing me, before turning to Feyre who nods as if answering an unspoken question.

"You're the High Lady." Rhys says. It's not a question. It's a statement. How can I be the High Lady?

Rhys doesn't spare a second to let me get my bearings as he turns to Kieran and asks, "So what's your plan? You can't be both the High Lord of Spring and Night."

Kieran nods simply before replying. "I don't plan on being either."

Rhys raises a brow, waiting for an explanation, while Feyre smiles coyly as if she already knows the explanation. "This is Lena's birthright. She's always wanted it whether she admits it or not. She's always wanted to help her people and bring them into the light." Kieran meets my eyes and I see that shimmer of love that's always there when he's proud of something I've done. "I want to help her with that but I won't be her High Lord, maybe her consort."

Rhys nods. "But what about the Night Court?"

Kieran shakes his head. "Another thing you have wrong. I'm not the next High Lord of the Night Court, and it's not Aedon either. It's Stella." The twins turn around at their names being uttered and watch as Kieran explains. "She has all the powers that Mother has, all of them. She has this ultimate well of power that she could tap into every second of every day and it would never run dry. I've been training her, but she needs you, Dad. I can't train her the way you can."

Rhys starts to shake his head but Kieran cuts him off. "It's her, Dad. Nobody deserves it more either." Kieran looks at his sister and winks at her as she smiles brightly. "She's the best of us. I'd be proud to have her be the next High Lady."

Rhys sighs slowly and glances at his daughter with sad eyes. "You should be, I've known about her immense power for while now. I've just been denying it." Rhys shakes his head and meets Kieran's eyes. "I could pass it off to you, my big strong boy. I could pass off the war and the treachery, but I didn't want to even think about my little star going to through any of the things I've gone through for our home."

Kieran laughs. "You're wrong again, Dad. Stella is stronger that I could ever been. Just look at her," He jerks his head to the little girl who beams up at us with wide, hopeful eyes, "She shines brighter than all the stars in the sky. She'll be our people's hope one day."

I speak for the first time since they arrived, "Which is good because I don't want to be the only High Lady who was born into it. There needs to be another female to raise all hell and rankle all the old males up."

\-- Four Years Later --

Normally a High Lady's birthday is celebrated with a giant ball and a feast in which every other High Lord and Lady in Prythian attend, but I didn't want that for today. I wanted a calm peaceful day with my mate out in a meadow somewhere with no courtiers or civilians or servants to bother me with any type of problem they may have.

Pip and I worked it out together. She's my commander now so I figured it would be easy to leave her in charge for the day, though I did tell Leif to watch over her in case she gets a little carried away; she can solve most any problem that's brought to her, especially while she's in a good mood that's charged by Helion coming to visit this weekend during the festivities for my birthday. I tried to protest having the festival but everybody wanted it so who am I to argue.

It's hard to believe that there's even going to be a festival in my honor at all. It's so strange to believe that years ago my birthday would be a thing celebrated but not much fun would occur during the celebration and now it's the biggest party in the Court other than Calanmai, which we still celebrate only because Kieran wanted to try it during his first year here and we did and he, for some reason I still don't understand, really enjoyed it. He said it was really sexy, whatever.

Speak of the devil, Kieran's lips move against the bare skin of my shoulder as he whispers, "What are you thinking about?"

I turn to face him, laying my head against his chest and looking up at the fluffy white clouds above us. His arms automatically wrap around me. "Just wondering what you like better, our normal sex or our Calanmai sex." I say jokingly.

His chest shudders as he chuckles at me statement. "Well, for your information, I like our normal sex a marginal amount more than the Calanmai stuff because there's not hundreds of people cheering us on."

I giggle. "Maybe there actually is, they're just always really quiet about it."

"As long as they are quiet about it, I'm good."

We lie in comfortable silence for a moment when I look up and see a little figure in the clouds, reminding me of something I've been meaning to tell Kieran about. I've just been waiting for some alone time. I should ease into it though.

"How's Stella doing with her training?"

Kieran huffs. "Father reports to me daily that she's a pest and that he hates training her because she's so sarcastic and her attitude is far more fiendish than mine ever was."

I laugh, remembering how many times Stella and Rhys have gotten into arguments just because of how sassy they both are. "They're too much a like to do any actual training together."

Kieran nods.

"You were good with her, you know? With the training and everything. It makes me wonder," I gulp, trying to push down any reservations about what I'm about to say. "It makes me wonder how you'll be with our child."

Kieran doesn't say anything for a long while before muttering. "I guess we'll find out one day."

I bite my lip and sit up, placing a hand on my still-flat stomach. "How about in nine months?" Kieran freezes instantly, looking at me like I'm speaking a completely different language. I start rambling in fear that it was the bad time to bring it up. "I didn't know until two days ago. I kind of puked on one of Pip's plants, you know the prickly green ones, and she freaked out and made me see a healer and the healer told me I was with child and I thought this would be nice time to tell you because we're alone for the first time in forever and I just couldn't wait to tell you, especially since the new manor is completely finished building now and the room next to our is meant to be a nursery and I've seen you looking at that room a lot and I thought - "

"We're going to have a baby?" Kieran asks.

"Well, technically, I'm going to be the one pushing this baby out my - " Kieran cuts me off with a searing kiss, lifting me in his arm and standing at the same time. He spins me around before sitting me on my feet and lowering himself to his knees and kissing my stomach.

"I love you. I love you." He rises up and plants his lips on my again. Sending into my mind, I love you, sunshine.

I smile lopsidedly at him and whisper against his lips, I love you too.

I don't think I've ever been happier to be in the Spring Court.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it for this story, but don't worry. This isn't the last of the series. Next up is Stella. We'll see how her story goes. Love ya all for your patience and commitment to reading this story. Thank you soo much.


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